Identity and Self-Discovery: How Alice Sun Learns to See Herself

The Thematic Claim

In If You Could See the Sun, Ann Liang argues that true identity is forged not by external accolades or social performance, but by the courage to ask “what do I want?” and to act on that answer even when it means losing the validation that once defined you. Alice Sun’s journey from a scholarship student obsessed with grades and reputation to a young woman who accepts her own vulnerability and chooses genuine connection over prestige is mapped onto her supernatural invisibility—a condition that forces her to confront the parts of herself she has kept hidden, even from herself.

Three Plot Turning Points in Alice’s Self-Discovery

1. The Invisibility as Identity Disruption (Chapters 1–2)

Alice’s identity has been built entirely on being seen: the top achiever, the scholarship student with perfect attendance, the girl who can outperform Henry Li. When she first turns invisible after the Top Achiever Awards ceremony, she loses the very mechanism that gave her worth. The evidence shows her panic in the bathroom stall, desperately Googling “Have you ever turned invisible before?” and finding only metaphorical stories. This moment cracks open the question she has avoided: if no one can see her, who is she? The invisibility is not just a supernatural plot device—it is the physical manifestation of her suppressed inner self, the part of Alice that has been ignored in favor of the “Study Machine” persona she constructed to survive at Airington.

2. The Confrontation with Desire (Chapter 12, Mr. Chen’s Office)

In a pivotal scene, Mr. Chen asks Alice directly: “What is it that you want?” At first, she lists achievements—grades, a job, money to buy her parents an apartment. But then her inner voice erupts with a cascade of authentic longings: to be respected, to be great, to be seen not just as a statistic but as a person. Yet she immediately shuts it down, reminding herself she cannot afford to dream. Mr. Chen’s gentle observation—“You’re still only a kid. You should be free to dream”—is the first adult permission she receives to imagine a self beyond survival. This moment is the seed of her slow transformation; the answer she cannot yet give aloud will later grow into the choice to build a tutoring app that aligns with her values rather than her desperation.

3. The Acceptance and New Beginning (Chapters 20–21)

After the public confession and the school’s decision to expel her, Alice experiences a profound shift. She no longer fights the verdict; she accepts it calmly. In the final chapter, Mr. Chen tells her his own story of feeling invisible and explains that the turning point was not fame but finding work that made him “feel like himself.” He delivers the thematic key: “To live well, you must learn to see yourself first.” Alice takes this to heart. She meets Henry at dawn, and together they plan a legitimate tutoring app—a venture that merges her academic strengths with her true desire to help others, not just to compete. The sunrise they watch together, hand in hand, symbolizes the emergence of a self no longer hidden behind grades or ghosts.

Character and Symbol Connections

Characters as Mirrors

Alice Sun embodies the internal conflict between the constructed identity (the overachiever) and the authentic self (the girl who wants to be free). Her invisibility is both her shame and her superpower—she must learn to use it without being defined by it.
Henry Li begins as a rival but becomes a witness to Alice’s hidden self. His calm acceptance of her invisibility and his later apology for not noticing her family’s struggles show his own growth from privilege to empathy. He helps her see that being seen is not about performance but about being known.
Mr. Chen is the mentor who disrupts Alice’s tunnel vision. By sharing his own experience of invisibility and his journey toward self-recognition, he models the possibility of redefining success on one’s own terms.
Chanel Cao and Rainie Lam represent different façades: Chanel’s wealth and Rainie’s fame also hide vulnerability. Rainie’s tearful phone call, which Alice overhears while invisible, reveals that even the most visible students struggle with identity. Alice’s Beijing Ghost tasks—exposing secrets—force her to see the real people behind the masks, and in doing so, she begins to see her own mask.
Xiaoyi (Alice’s father) and her mother represent the familial pressures that shaped Alice’s drive. Their love is real, but their financial worry locks her into a scarcity mindset that equates worth with success.

Symbols as Signals

Beijing Ghost App: Initially a tool for survival (earning money to stay at Airington), the app becomes an instrument of forced empathy. Each task Alice completes uncovers the hidden pain of her classmates, mirroring her own hidden self. Eventually, she rebrands it as a study tool, transforming a mechanism of exposure into one of genuine help.
Sunrise: The novel ends at dawn. Sunrise is the opposite of invisibility—light that reveals, warmth that banishes cold. It marks the beginning of Alice’s new life, where she is no longer a ghost but a person fully present.
White Rabbit Candy and Bronze Buddha Toothpick : These small tokens of Chinese culture and childhood tie Alice to her heritage and family. They remind her that identity is not only about how others see her but also about where she comes from.

Complexity and Contradiction

Alice’s self-discovery is not linear. She uses the app to exploit others’ secrets even as she learns compassion; she lies to her father about the app while feeling guilty; she nearly kisses Henry but botches it by biting him. These contradictions make her journey human. The novel does not pretend that identity can be found in a single epiphany. Instead, Alice must repeatedly choose between the safety of invisibility (both literal and emotional) and the risk of being truly seen. Her acceptance of expulsion—a loss of the very school that defined her—is the final proof that she has begun to value her own internal compass over external markers of success.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Alice’s invisibility function as a metaphor for her identity crisis?
Answer: The invisibility physically manifests Alice’s feeling of being unseen except for her achievements. It forces her to confront who she is when no one is watching, and ultimately teaches her that being seen by others is less important than seeing herself. Her ability to control it parallels her growing agency over her own identity.

2. What role does Henry Li play in Alice’s journey toward self-discovery?
Answer: Henry acts as a mirror and a support. His initial rivalry pushes Alice to define herself against him, but his later calm acceptance of her invisibility and his vulnerability about his own family struggles help her trust someone else. He models empathy over competition, and their partnership on the tutoring app shows Alice that collaboration can be more fulfilling than solitary success.

3. Why does Mr. Chen’s question “what is it that you want?” unsettle Alice so deeply?
Answer: Alice has spent years suppressing her desires to focus on practical survival. The question forces her to admit that she does not know what she genuinely wants beyond accolades and money. It exposes the gap between her constructed identity (the perfect student) and her authentic self, which she has never allowed herself to explore.

4. How does the Beijing Ghost app both hinder and help Alice’s self-discovery?
Answer: Initially, the app reinforces her transactional view of relationships by letting her profit from secrets. However, as she completes tasks, she learns the hidden stories of classmates like Rainie and Chanel, realizing that everyone wears a mask. This empathy eventually leads her to rebrand the app as a study tool, transforming a tool of blackmail into one of genuine connection—and in doing so, she reclaims her own identity from desperation.

5. What does the ending sunrise symbolize for Alice’s identity?
Answer: The sunrise represents clarity, hope, and a new beginning. Alice has stopped hiding—she has accepted expulsion, told her parents some truth, and chosen to build something meaningful with Henry. The light banishes the metaphorical and literal darkness of invisibility, affirming that she is no longer a ghost but a person ready to be seen on her own terms.