Girls That Never Die: Questions and Answers

Questions and Answers about Girls That Never Die by Safia Elhillo

(2022)

This study companion offers 15 evidence-grounded questions and answers that explore the book's characters, symbols, language, and themes. Each answer is followed by evidence context and interpretation to help you trace the threads of this verse memoir.

1. Why does the speaker cut her own hair in the poem “Girls That Never Die” (chapter 41)?

Answer: The speaker cuts her hair with a razor as an act of defiance against the policing of her body and reputation. She explains that disgraced girls have their hair cut, so she does it herself to reclaim agency. However, her hair grows back overnight, forcing her to repeat the act, scattering hair as a form of confession and rebellion.

Evidence context: In chapter 41, the speaker lists rules she follows—covering shoulders, maintaining weight, never cutting hair—under threat of gossip. She then says, “They cut the hair of disgraced girls so I cut it myself.” She describes waking to find her braid returned and cutting it again, leaving hair on buses and in pillowcases.

Interpretation: This act transforms a punishment into a ritual of self-assertion. The hair’s regrowth symbolizes the inescapability of societal expectations, while her scattering of hair becomes a silent testimony to her resistance. It also connects to the theme of reputation as a cage, as she later questions what would govern her if she refuses to die.

2. What is the significance of the name “Safia” and its meaning “pure” in relation to the speaker’s identity?

Answer: The name Safia, meaning “pure,” becomes a burden and a contradiction. The speaker is named for a dead great-aunt and given instructions to be pure, yet she questions whether that purity is wasted on her. The name ties her to a lineage of naming girls for absence and to the impossible demands of purity culture.

Evidence context: In chapter 2, the birth certificate records her name as Safia Yagoub, and she notes that her mother’s name Safaa shares the first syllable. In chapter 9, she says, “I was given my name & with it my instructions. Pure. Pure.” In chapter 31, she reflects on the tradition of naming girls for absence, including the name Safia.

Interpretation: The name functions as a double-edged inheritance: it connects her to her mother and grandmothers, but also imposes a standard of purity that she cannot meet. The gap between the name’s meaning and her lived experience drives her exploration of shame, language, and bodily autonomy.

3. How does the speaker’s relationship with Arabic shape her sense of self in “Profanity” and “How to Say”?

Answer: The speaker’s imperfect Arabic leaves her feeling exiled from her heritage and unable to name her own body or wounds. She knows ninety-nine names for God but lacks a word for her own body in Arabic. In “How to Say,” she dreams of fluent Arabic but wakes to a borderland of English and Arabic, questioning how she can love a word without knowing it in Arabic.

Evidence context: In chapter 4, she says, “i know ninety-nine names / for my god & none for my [ ]” and later, “if asked in arabic / i could not tell you where i open.” In chapter 5, she reflects on her “clumsy tongue” and dreams of alternate selves with faces like her grandmother’s.

Interpretation: Language becomes a site of loss and longing. The inability to name her body in Arabic mirrors the broader silence around female bodies and trauma. Her struggle with Arabic also highlights the immigrant experience of being caught between cultures, never fully fluent in either.

4. In “Pomegranate,” what does the pomegranate symbolize and how does it connect to the speaker’s body?

Answer: The pomegranate symbolizes the speaker’s body as something that is opened, exposed, and tied to blood and purity. She describes being raised like fruit, peeled and taught to bleed in a man’s bed. The pomegranate, splayed open, becomes an image of something that was once alive and remains—like her own buried self.

Evidence context: In chapter 9, she says, “Because I am their daughter my body is not mine.” She describes searching for a discarded part buried in the soil, wrapped in rags stained with rust. She wonders about the blood orange and the pomegranate, “splayed open, like something / that once was alive & remains.”

Interpretation: The pomegranate is a recurring symbol of female sexuality and violation. Its many seeds evoke the girls whose names are “peeled & sucked” in chapter 10. The fruit’s interior, both beautiful and bloody, mirrors the speaker’s own sense of being split open by societal expectations and trauma.

5. What role does the grandmother play in the speaker’s understanding of heritage and memory?

Answer: The grandmother is a figure of beauty and silence, representing a heritage the speaker can only glimpse. She is described with tattooed eyebrows and hair set in hot rollers, older than the independent state of Sudan. The speaker imagines alternate selves with faces borrowed from photographs of the girl who became her grandmother, linking her to a past she cannot fully access.

Evidence context: In chapter 2, the grandmother is described as a film star with black feathered hair and tattooed eyebrows. In chapter 5, the speaker dreams of alternate selves with faces like her grandmother’s. In chapter 8, she notes that the Arabic word for “cut” is the name of one of her grandmothers, and she will not ask that grandmother because she is told she does not remember.

Interpretation: The grandmother embodies both continuity and silence. She is a keeper of traditions and a witness to trauma, but her memories are inaccessible. The speaker’s longing for her grandmother’s face and language reflects a desire for a heritage that is both intimate and unreachable.

6. How does the speaker’s experience in “Geneva” reflect the theme of silence and the body as language?

Answer: In “Geneva,” the speaker’s silence in a foreign language is broken only by her body’s movement. She runs faster than the group, and her body “understands my language.” The act of running becomes a form of speech, but it also leads to a fall and a broken bone, symbolizing the cost of breaking silence.

Evidence context: In chapter 24, the speaker recalls the school bus in silence except for a song listing women’s names. She says, “I did not speak the language, a trait that found me in the early countries & remained.” In gym class, she breaks from the group jog and runs faster, then trips and breaks a bone.

Interpretation: The body becomes an alternative language when words fail. Running faster is a rebellion against the restrictions placed on girls, but it also results in injury, suggesting that speaking out or moving freely carries risks. The freed arm floating upward after the cast is removed evokes a hand raised to speak, linking physical healing to the possibility of voice.

7. What is the effect of the repeated “Girls That Never Die” poems across the book?

Answer: The repeated poems create a motif of girls who are both immortal and lost. Each iteration—embroidered, photographed, buried, or carried away—explores different forms of violence and survival. The repetition builds a chorus of voices, suggesting that these girls are everywhere and nowhere, never dying but never truly living.

Evidence context: Chapter 17 presents a girl embroidered, a girl in a photograph, a girl who never returns from a party. Chapter 34 describes a girl carried from her father’s house and passed to another man. Chapter 44 depicts a girl buried to the chest and stoned, but birds carry away the stones. Chapter 43 ends with the speaker partying with girls that never die.

Interpretation: The motif underscores the universality of girls’ experiences of harm and resilience. The girls are never named, making them archetypes. The final poem, “Red Note with a Line by Ol’ Dirty Bastard,” ties back to the epigraph, suggesting that survival is possible, but only through a kind of haunting.

8. In “Memoir,” why does the speaker leave the man she loves after six years?

Answer: The speaker leaves because she fears dying and realizes that staying would cost her life. She describes loving him for years while harboring a secret, and she escapes “with my life” on the sixth anniversary. The decision is both a survival instinct and a recognition that the relationship was tied to a past she needed to leave behind.

Evidence context: In chapter 13, she says, “I thought I’d stay forever. I thought we’d all live. More than I wanted to make anything, I wanted to stay alive.” She leaves the apartment she loved, and later checks his name for an obituary. The chapter also reveals the mothers’ warning never to enter a room alone with anyone, linking her escape to broader fears of harm.

Interpretation: The departure is an act of self-preservation, but it is also a form of grief. She leaves behind a community of artists and friends, and the chapter mourns the loss of that youthful world. The secret she never reveals—likely the trauma of sexual harm—makes the relationship unsustainable.

9. How does the speaker’s relationship with her mother evolve or remain complex throughout the book?

Answer: The speaker’s relationship with her mother is marked by love, silence, and unspoken knowledge. Her mother is both a protector and a figure of fear, having raised her with warnings about men. The speaker cannot tell her mother about her own harm, and she reflects on what her mother must have known but could not say.

Evidence context: In chapter 2, the mother is described as “almost my mother” at the moment of birth. In chapter 13, the speaker says, “When I was hurt I cried like a child for my mother, for what she must already have known. & who she could not tell. For what I will not tell her.” In chapter 29, the mother chose America to save her own life, and the speaker later considers going home with her on the phone.

Interpretation: The mother-daughter bond is both intimate and fraught. The mother’s silence about her own experiences is passed down, creating a cycle of unspoken trauma. The speaker’s inability to confide in her mother reflects the broader theme of silence and shame that pervades the book.

10. What do the “Infibulation Study” chapters reveal about the silence surrounding female genital mutilation?

Answer: The chapters reveal that female genital mutilation is shrouded in euphemism and denial. The speaker calls her cousins to ask about the clitoris, but they do not discuss it. She notes that Arabic uses the word “purified” instead of “cut,” and she will not ask her grandmother because she is told she does not remember.

Evidence context: In chapter 8, the speaker says, “I call my cousins in turn to ask about the clitoris, but they do not discuss it.” She notes that the Arabic word for cut, when conjugated, is the name of one of her grandmothers. In chapter 11, the poem is titled “Infibulation Study” but its content is not provided in the outline, suggesting the topic is so taboo it is almost unspeakable.

Interpretation: The silence around infibulation is a form of intergenerational trauma. The euphemism “purified” masks the violence, and the grandmother’s supposed lack of memory is a survival mechanism. The speaker’s own body is uncut, but she is named for a woman who died, linking her to the practice’s legacy.

11. How does the speaker use euphemism and profanity to navigate trauma in “Profanity”?

Answer: The speaker uses profanity as a limited tool for anger, but she lacks the vocabulary to name her own body or wounds. She knows animal insults but finds them insufficient. The harshest Arabic profanity, which curses a man’s mother, is similar to an English kiss but turned to venom by pronunciation, highlighting how language can both wound and fail.

Evidence context: In chapter 4, she says, “i know ninety-nine names / for my god & none for my [ ]” and later, “i am not polite i am only inarticulate.” She describes the word for a woman’s body part as a swear, and says, “if asked in arabic / i could not tell you where i open.”

Interpretation: Profanity becomes a way to express anger when other words are unavailable, but it also reinforces the shame around female bodies. The inability to name her own body in Arabic mirrors the broader cultural silence about women’s sexuality and trauma. The contrast between the sacred (ninety-nine names for God) and the profane (swearwords) underscores the gap in her linguistic inheritance.

12. In “Terra Nullius,” what does the concept of “nobody’s land” mean for the speaker’s sense of belonging?

Answer: “Terra nullius” means “nobody’s land,” and the speaker uses it to describe her own displacement. She has lived in multiple countries but belongs to none. She says, “I am old enough to choose a country for myself, but by now I do not want one.” The term also evokes colonial land claims, linking her personal exile to a history of erasure.

Evidence context: In chapter 29, the speaker describes a blue room in a house bought from a Greek man, and her mother’s choice to go to America to survive. She passes through Nairobi, Cairo, Geneva, and Dar-es-salaam, seeing the world without understanding it. The chapter ends with her body in water, displacing the water.

Interpretation: The concept of “nobody’s land” captures the speaker’s rootlessness and the impossibility of finding a home. It also critiques the colonial practice of declaring land empty to justify conquest. Her body becomes a site of displacement, and her final submersion in water suggests a surrender to that state.

13. How does the speaker’s experience with the Uber driver in “On Eid We Slaughter Lambs…” illustrate the performance of piety?

Answer: The speaker performs piety to appease the driver, who assumes ownership over her as a daughter, sister, or wife. She nods when he asks if she is Muslim, shakes her head to his questions about drinking and smoking, and eventually confirms whatever he assumes just to gain quiet. Her loosened hair smells of coal and floats like smoke, suggesting a loss of self.

Evidence context: In chapter 14, the driver asks if she is Muslim, and she nods. He questions her about drinking and smoking, and she knows the expected responses. At a red light, he studies her face, and she blinks, sensing his disbelief. She decides to confirm his assumptions to gain a moment of quiet.

Interpretation: The scene exposes the pressure to perform religious and moral purity in public spaces. The speaker’s compliance is a survival strategy, but it also erases her individuality. The imagery of smoke and coal connects to sacrifice and ritual violence, linking the driver’s assumptions to the broader theme of male ownership of women.

14. What is the significance of “Ode to My Homegirls” in contrast to the isolation in other poems?

Answer: “Ode to My Homegirls” celebrates female friendship as a source of protection and love, contrasting with the isolation and silence in many other poems. The speaker describes friends who provide alibis, stay on the phone for three days when a man tries to break down her door, and share everyday intimacy. This community offers a counterpoint to the loneliness of trauma.

Evidence context: In chapter 33, the speaker recalls dialing Basma’s home phone at thirteen to three-way call a boy, and Basma staying awake to hang up the phone. She lists friends who send rash pictures, leave voice notes from the bathtub, and clog her toilet. When a man follows her home, her friends take turns staying on the phone with her for three days.

Interpretation: The poem shows that solidarity among women can be a form of resistance and healing. The friends are described as “my marriages,