Characters Girls That Never Die Safia Elhillo

Safaa in Girls That Never Die: Character Analysis of the Narrator's Mother

Overview: Safaa as the Mother and the Choice That Shapes a Life

Safaa is the narrator's mother in Girls That Never Die, a Sudanese woman who, at twenty-three, makes a decision that reverberates through the entire book: she chooses America over Cairo. This choice, explored in the poem “Terra Nullius,” is not merely a geographical preference but a survival act, one that the narrator links directly to her own existence. Safaa shares the first syllable of her name with the narrator—Safaa and Safia—a linguistic echo that underscores their connection, even as the narrator is named for a dead great-aunt rather than for her mother. Throughout the collection, Safaa appears as a quiet but pivotal presence: in the opening birth scene, in the narrator’s reflections on her childhood in Cairo, and in the later phone calls that frame the narrator’s own sense of displacement. She is not a character who speaks often, but her actions—especially her decision to leave—define the narrator’s life and the book’s central themes of survival, inheritance, and the search for home.

Plot Role: Where Safaa Appears

Safaa’s most explicit appearances are in two key chapters. In “Final Weeks, 1990” (Chapter 2), she is the young mother-to-be, playing cards in a Maryland house on the night before the narrator’s birth. The poem describes her as “twenty-three behind a winning hand of cards” and notes that friends still call her “the bride” eleven months into her marriage. This scene establishes her as a woman on the cusp of motherhood, still adjusting to her new role. The narrator’s father, Jack, is present but distant, and the narrator’s grandparents wait in the hospital. The birth itself is detailed: the narrator is born at 1:39 PM, named Safia Yagoub, and the birth certificate records the anglicized surname Hilu. Safaa’s name is mentioned only in passing, but the narrator notes that they “match: Safaa, noun form of my adjective. Our shared first syllable.”

In “Terra Nullius” (Chapter 29), Safaa appears again, this time as a voice on the other end of a phone line. The narrator reflects on her mother’s decision to choose America over Cairo, stating, “To be born in the country of my origins would be to have killed my mother.” This line is explicit: giving birth in Sudan would have been fatal to Safaa. The poem then traces the narrator’s own sense of rootlessness, contrasting her mother’s choice with her own inability to feel at home anywhere. Safaa is also implicitly present in “The Cairo Apartments” (Chapter 22), where the narrator recalls her childhood in Cairo, describing “our mothers” as “less glamorous & always tired, always at work, wore bluejeans, cool hands that carried us to our beds at night.” While this is a collective portrait, it likely includes Safaa, given the narrator’s own mother was part of that world.

Motivations and Traits: What Safaa’s Actions Reveal

Safaa’s primary motivation, as presented in the text, is survival. The line “To be born in the country of my origins would be to have killed my mother” is a stark statement of fact: her choice to go to America was a life-or-death decision. This is not presented as a preference for one culture over another, but as a necessity. The narrator’s phrasing “I uproot her & she crosses the water” suggests that the narrator’s own birth is intertwined with this uprooting—the child’s existence depends on the mother’s departure.

Beyond this, Safaa is shown as someone who adapts to her circumstances. In the birth scene, she is playing cards, a casual activity that suggests a certain ease or perhaps a way of coping with the anxiety of labor. She is called “the bride” even after eleven months of marriage, indicating that she is still seen as a newlywed, perhaps still adjusting to her role. The narrator’s description of her parents’ marriage is telling: “I cannot imagine them ever touching” and “I smudge him out” from the scene. This suggests a distance between Safaa and Jack, though the narrator admits she cannot picture them together. The only proof of their love, the narrator says, is that her mother called him “Jack”—a nickname that implies intimacy.

Safaa’s resilience is also evident in the later phone call. The narrator, now an adult, is thinking about going home, and her mother is on the other end. The poem does not give Safaa’s words, but her presence is a constant—she is the one who stayed in America, who made that choice, and who now serves as a point of connection for the narrator’s own ambivalence about home.

Chronological Arc: From Bride to Mother to Distant Voice

Safaa’s arc in the book is not linear but is built through fragments. In 1990, she is a young bride on the verge of motherhood. The narrator’s birth marks a transition: she becomes “almost my mother now,” as the narrator puts it. The poem suggests that this transformation is gradual, not instantaneous.

Decades later, in “Terra Nullius,” Safaa is on the phone, thirty years away from the country of her origins. The narrator reflects on her mother’s choice and on her own inability to choose a country. The poem ends with the narrator in a small apartment, her flowers dying, her body in the water—a stark contrast to the mother who made a definitive choice. Safaa’s arc is thus one of a woman who made a life-altering decision and then lived with its consequences, while her daughter grapples with the legacy of that decision.

Relationships: Mother, Daughter, and the Web of Family

The central relationship is between Safaa and the narrator. The shared first syllable of their names—Safaa and Safia—creates a linguistic bond, even though the narrator is named for a dead great-aunt. The narrator notes that they “match,” suggesting a sense of identity that is both separate and intertwined. Safaa’s choice to go to America directly shapes the narrator’s life: she is born in Maryland, grows up with English as her primary language, and struggles with her Arabic. In “How to Say” (Chapter 5), the narrator reflects on her “clumsy tongue when i forget the word for [ ] in arabic,” a direct consequence of her mother’s decision to raise her in the United States.

Safaa’s relationship with Jack is portrayed as distant. The narrator cannot imagine them touching, and she sketches him out of the birth scene. Yet the fact that Safaa called him “Jack” is presented as evidence of love. This tension—between the narrator’s inability to picture intimacy and the small proof of affection—suggests a marriage that may have been strained but was not without feeling.

Safaa’s relationship with her own parents is also present. In the birth scene, the narrator’s grandparents are described as “elegant in that old overformal way of immigrants,” and they are older than the independent state of Sudan. Safaa is their daughter, and her decision to leave the country of her origins likely carried weight. The narrator does not detail Safaa’s feelings about this, but the context implies a family shaped by displacement.

Key Decisions and Consequences: The Choice of America

The most significant decision Safaa makes is to choose America over Cairo. The text is explicit: “Suggestion of Cairo, short miles away & with better hospitals. She shakes her head. America.” This is a direct refusal of a safer medical option in favor of a more distant one. The consequence is that the narrator is born in Maryland, not in Sudan. The narrator reflects, “To be born in the country of my origins would be to have killed my mother,” which frames the decision as a matter of life and death.

The consequences of this choice ripple through the entire book. The narrator grows up as an American-born Sudanese, struggling with language and identity. She feels disconnected from her heritage, as seen in “How to Say” and “The Cairo Apartments.” She also inherits a sense of displacement, which she explores in “Terra Nullius” when she says, “I am old enough to choose a country for myself, but by now I do not want one.” Safaa’s decision, while necessary for survival, creates a legacy of rootlessness for her daughter.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Safaa’s character is deeply tied to several of the book’s central themes. Her choice to leave Sudan connects to displacement and the search for home. She is a woman who leaves her homeland to survive, and her daughter inherits that displacement. The shared name connects to language, naming, and the inadequacy of words, as the narrator’s name is both a link to her mother and a marker of her own identity. Safaa’s role as a mother who makes a sacrifice for her child ties to survival and intergenerational inheritance. The narrator’s reflections on her mother’s choice also touch on silence, shame, and the unspoken, as the decision is never fully discussed but is always present. Finally, Safaa’s experience as a woman in a patriarchal society, even in America, connects to the policing of girls’ bodies and the demand for purity, though this is more implicit in her daughter’s experiences.

Questions and Answers

  1. Why did Safaa choose America over Cairo?

The text states that giving birth in Sudan would have killed her: “To be born in the country of my origins would be to have killed my mother.” She shakes her head at the suggestion of Cairo, which had better hospitals, and chooses America instead. This is presented as a survival decision.

  1. How does Safaa’s name connect to the narrator’s?

The narrator notes that they “match: Safaa, noun form of my adjective. Our shared first syllable.” Safaa and Safia share the first syllable, creating a linguistic bond, even though the narrator is named for a dead great-aunt, not for her mother.

  1. What is Safaa’s role in the birth scene?

In “Final Weeks, 1990,” Safaa is twenty-three, playing cards in a Maryland house on the night before the narrator’s birth. She is called “the bride” eleven months into her marriage. The next day, she gives birth to the narrator at 1:39 PM.

  1. How does the narrator describe her mother’s relationship with her father?

The narrator says she cannot imagine her parents touching, and she sketches her father out of the birth scene. However, she notes that her mother called him “Jack,” which she calls “my only proof they were in love.” This suggests a distant but not loveless marriage.

  1. What does Safaa’s decision mean for the narrator’s sense of home?

Safaa’s choice to raise her daughter in America leads the narrator to feel disconnected from her Sudanese heritage. In “Terra Nullius,” the narrator says she is “old enough to choose a country for myself, but by now I do not want one.” The narrator’s displacement is a direct consequence of her mother’s survival-driven decision.

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