Nai Nai in Daughters of Shandong: Character Analysis

Overview: The Matriarch of Tradition and Cruelty in Daughters of Shandong

Nai Nai, the grandmother of narrator Hai, is the novel’s most formidable antagonist. A small, thin woman with dainty bound feet, she nevertheless commands the Ang household with the presence of a warlord and a tongue like a whip. Her authority is absolute in the Shandong courtyard, and her primary obsession—securing a male heir to continue the family line—drives nearly every cruel decision she makes. She embodies the traditional Confucian value of zhong nan qing nu (value men, belittle women), and her actions repeatedly demonstrate how this ideology dehumanizes daughters and daughters-in-law. Even after the family’s displacement to Taiwan, Nai Nai clings to her old ways, demanding submission and punishing any defiance. Her character serves as a living symbol of the patriarchal system that Hai and her sisters must confront and ultimately reject.

Plot Role: The Engine of Family Conflict

Nai Nai is not merely a background figure; she is the catalyst for many of the novel’s central conflicts. Her decision to consult a fortune-teller and then order her son and daughter-in-law to sleep separately sets the stage for the pregnancy that leads to Mom’s expulsion. When Mom becomes pregnant despite the ban, Nai Nai accuses her of adultery, hurls bowls, and kicks her, Hai, and Three out of the courtyard. This eviction is the first of many separations that fracture the family. Later, when Three falls ill with tuberculosis, Nai Nai refuses to spend money on a doctor for a girl child, directly contributing to Three’s death. During the Communist advance, she suggests leaving Mom behind to protect the property, and when the family flees, she refuses to take the older daughters, forcing them to remain with Mom. In Taiwan, she intercepts letters from Uncle Jian to prevent the family from reuniting, and she continues to assign Mom endless chores and force her to kneel for minor transgressions. Each of these actions propels the plot forward, creating the hardships that Hai and her mother must overcome.

Motivations and Traits: Shown Through Actions

Nai Nai’s motivations are rooted in a fierce desire to preserve the Ang family’s wealth, status, and lineage. She watches every coin “like it was a fragment of her soul,” and her frugality is a pillar of her identity. She detests Mom for two reasons: first, for marrying her son, and second, for having large feet, which she considers a mark of peasant status. Her obsession with a male heir is so extreme that she is willing to sacrifice her daughter-in-law’s health and happiness to avoid the “expense of raising additional daughters.” She boasts that separating the couple will save money, revealing her callous calculus.

Her cruelty is not impulsive but systematic. She uses kneeling as her favorite punishment, forcing Mom to kneel for hours for spilling soup or breaking a bowl. She withholds food and delicacies from women, reserving crab for the men. She is also manipulative, as when she accuses Mom of adultery and then later claims to be the victim when her authority is challenged. Her physical frailty—she tottered on bound feet—contrasts with her psychological dominance, making her a figure of both menace and pathos.

Chronological Arc: From Absolute Power to Diminished Authority

In Shandong, Nai Nai is the undisputed ruler of the shiheyuan. She controls the pantry, the sleeping arrangements, and the fate of her grandchildren. Her power is so absolute that even her favorite son, Father, cannot defy her openly. When she expels Mom, Father only confesses his complicity and then allows Mom to kneel in punishment. Nai Nai’s authority extends to life-and-death decisions, as when she refuses to pay for Three’s medical care.

The family’s flight to Taiwan does not soften her. In Taipei, she complains about reduced circumstances and assigns Mom endless chores. She forces Mom to kneel when she drops a bowl, and she strikes Hai with a cane, splitting her lip. However, her power begins to erode when Hai and Di openly defy her, shouting accusations and refusing to kneel. When Father, for the first time, chooses his wife and daughters over his mother, Nai Nai’s authority is decisively broken. She wails and protests, but Yei Yei overrules her, and the family moves to Douliu. In the final chapters, Nai Nai fades from the narrative, her influence reduced to memory. The narrator reflects that her mother continued to suffer Nai Nai’s demands until age fifty-eight, when she finally refused after her son earned income. This arc shows that while Nai Nai’s cruelty persists, the younger generation’s rebellion and the changing circumstances of exile ultimately diminish her power.

Relationships: The Web of Control and Resistance

With Mom (daughter-in-law): Nai Nai’s relationship with Mom is one of relentless hostility. She detests Mom for her large feet and for marrying her son, and she treats her as a servant rather than a family member. She forces Mom to kneel, withholds food, and blames her for every misfortune. Mom, in turn, internalizes this abuse, often telling Hai to respect her elders and accept her fate. Yet Mom also shows quiet resilience, secretly selling her jade bangle to fund Hai’s education, a direct act of defiance against Nai Nai’s frugality.

With Hai (granddaughter): Nai Nai dismisses Hai as a disappointment from birth. She shows no affection and often punishes her for minor infractions. Hai grows up watching her mother kneel and learns to fear Nai Nai’s rages. However, Hai’s eventual outburst in Taiwan—shouting at Nai Nai and accusing her of preferring that they die—marks a turning point. Hai sees Nai Nai as “the most feeble of us all,” dependent on obedience to reign. This recognition empowers Hai to break free from the cycle of submission.

With Father (son): Nai Nai is possessive of Father, her “first and favorite son.” She expects filial piety and loyalty above all else. When Father chooses to move out with his wife and daughters, Nai Nai is devastated, crying that her son is abandoning her. This relationship highlights the tension between a mother’s claim on her son and his duty to his own family.

With Yei Yei (husband): Nai Nai often clashes with Yei Yei, who is more pragmatic and less cruel. He overrules her in the final confrontation, ordering everyone to their rooms and arranging the move to Douliu. Nai Nai’s inability to control her husband further underscores her declining authority.

Key Decisions and Consequences

• Ordering the couple to sleep separately: This decision leads to Mom’s pregnancy, which Nai Nai sees as a betrayal. The resulting eviction sets the family on a path of hardship and separation.

• Refusing to pay for Three’s medical care: This decision results in Three’s death, a tragedy that haunts Hai and Mom. It also reveals the devaluation of daughters in the family.

• Leaving Mom and daughters behind when fleeing: This decision forces Mom and the girls to survive alone, leading to Hai’s capture and beating by Communist cadres. It deepens the family’s trauma and resentment.

• Intercepting letters from Uncle Jian: This decision delays the family’s reunion and nearly prevents it altogether. It shows Nai Nai’s willingness to sacrifice her son’s family to maintain control.

• Demanding submission in Taiwan: This decision triggers the final break, as Hai and Di’s rebellion leads Father to move out. It ultimately frees Mom and the daughters from Nai Nai’s tyranny.

Theme and Symbol Connections

Nai Nai is a living embodiment of the novel’s central themes. She represents gender discrimination and the devaluation of daughters, as seen in her preference for her grandson Chiao and her refusal to spend money on girls. She also embodies maternal sacrifice and intergenerational legacy, but in a twisted form: her sacrifices are for the male line, not for her daughters. Her insistence on tradition even in exile connects to memory, homeland, and identity in exile, as she clings to the old ways of the shiheyuan in Taiwan. Her cruelty is also a product of class persecution and revolutionary violence, as her family’s wealth makes them targets, and her fear of losing status drives her actions. Finally, her role in the family’s displacement highlights displacement and refugee survival, as she struggles to adapt to a new life while imposing old hierarchies.

Five Book-Specific Questions and Direct Answers

1. Why does Nai Nai order her son and daughter-in-law to sleep separately?

She consults a fortune-teller who predicts Mom will not bear a son until age thirty-six. To avoid the expense of raising more daughters, Nai Nai forbids intercourse until then, believing this will ensure a male heir.

1. What is Nai Nai’s reaction when Mom becomes pregnant despite the ban?

She accuses Mom of adultery, hurls bowls at her, and expels her, Hai, and Three from the courtyard. She refuses to believe her son would disobey her.

1. How does Nai Nai contribute to Three’s death?

When Three develops tuberculosis, Nai Nai refuses to spend money on a doctor for a girl child. The family quarantines Three, but without medical care, she dies in her mother’s arms.

1. What does Nai Nai do to prevent the family from reuniting in Taiwan?

She intercepts letters from Uncle Jian that would have informed the family of their entry permits. This delays their reunion and nearly causes them to miss the opportunity to go to Taiwan.

1. What event finally breaks Nai Nai’s authority over the family?

When Hai and Di openly defy her, shouting accusations and refusing to kneel, Nai Nai demands they leave. Father, for the first time, chooses his wife and daughters, and Yei Yei arranges a move to Douliu. This decision ends Nai Nai’s control over the immediate family.

Conclusion: The Legacy of a Tyrant

Nai Nai is a complex antagonist whose cruelty stems from a deep-seated adherence to patriarchal tradition. She is not a caricature but a product of her culture and circumstances, yet her actions cause immense suffering. Her eventual loss of power signals the possibility of change, as the younger generation, led by Hai, begins to break the cycle of devaluing daughters. Through Nai Nai, the novel explores how tradition can become a prison, and how resistance, even in small acts, can lead to liberation.

For further exploration, see the themes of gender discrimination, displacement and refugee survival, and maternal sacrifice and intergenerational legacy. You can also revisit the ending explained or browse questions and answers.