Chapter 32 Summary: And That’s Why I Can Never Go Back to the Post Office Again

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Jenny Lawson reluctantly returns a misdelivered package of pills to the post office per Victor’s insistence. In exchange, the clerk hands her an anonymous sack containing a dozen small, squishy penis-shaped stress toys with smiley faces. While driving home, she brakes to avoid a mattress; the bag hits the dashboard and the toys scatter into the “car holes” (gaps between seats and center console). Later, she films an Instagram video explaining the situation while retrieving the toys, and a passerby stares. That evening, she chases a snake out of her garage using her purse, which happens to contain some of the penises sent as a gift. The toys fall out, her daughter Hailey sees them, and Jenny’s Instagram caption mentions both the snake and the penis. She names the snake Hisstopher Columbus and later sees it near an owl-inhabited tree. The chapter ends with Jenny declaring she can never return to the post office.

Key Events

Jenny returns the misdelivered pills to the post office as Victor insisted.
A clerk gives her an open sack of penis-shaped stress toys (no note or return address).
While driving, she slams on brakes to avoid a mattress; the bag bursts, toys roll under seats.
She makes an Instagram video about the “dick debacle” while retrieving the toys, observed by a stranger.
Victor, initially on a conference call, overhears the entire story (he disconnected early).
Later, Jenny uses her purse (with toys inside) to chase a non‑venomous snake from the garage.
The toys fall out in front of her daughter Hailey, prompting awkward questions.
She names the snake Hisstopher Columbus and later tries to protect it from owls.
The chapter title explains why she can never go back to the post office.

Character Development

Jenny Lawson: Demonstrates extreme discomfort with social interactions (post office), anxiety about others’ perceptions (worries clerks think she has a “tiny vagina”), and a compulsion to narrate even absurd events on social media. Her quick, humorous framing of disasters shows how she copes with chaos.
Victor: Plays the exasperated but supportive husband. He insists on doing the right thing (returning the pills), disconnects the business call after the “dicks in your car holes” reveal, and still helps retrieve the toys. His sighs and face‑palm reactions show familiar patience with Jenny’s predicaments.
Hailey: Appears briefly but highlights the moment when a child’s innocent question (“why are there so many penises on the floor?”) collides with adult absurdity.
The snake (Hisstopher Columbus): Treated as a semi‑character; Jenny’s naming and subsequent worry about owls reflect her tendency to anthropomorphize and form attachments even to creatures that startle her.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Social anxiety and avoidance: Jenny’s dread of the post office (and the imagined judgments of clerks and passersby) drives the entire chapter. She uses the “incident” as a permanent excuse to avoid a task she hates.
Absurdity as a coping mechanism: The ridiculous situation—returning pills for a bag of dicks—is narrated with deadpan humor, allowing Jenny to process embarrassment and fear.
Misunderstanding and perceived judgment: Every encounter (post office clerk, conference call participants, Instagram follower, neighbor) involves Jenny assuming others are reading into her actions. The chapter satirizes the gap between intention and interpretation.
Found gifts and weird connections: The anonymous penis toys turn out to be a well‑intentioned gift from a follower, and Jenny ends up loving them. This mirrors earlier motifs of strange but affectionate fan mail.
Accidental themes: Jenny notes the coincidence of “cockchafer” earlier in the book and now “penises” — a running joke that reinforces the book’s embrace of the odd and unplanned.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 32 encapsulates the signature voice of Broken: a chaotic, deeply personal, and hilarious essay that uses a preposterous scenario to explore real anxieties. Jenny’s fear of judgment, her inability to let go of a story, and her reliance on Victor’s grounded presence are all on display. The chapter also shows how social media serves as both a confessional and a source of unexpected connection (the gift‑giver reveals herself). It reinforces the book’s central idea that life’s most absurd moments can be transformed into stories that bond us—even when they involve a purse full of penises and a snake named after an explorer.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Jenny’s anxiety about the post office drive the plot of this chapter?
Jenny describes hating to talk to people and later worries that clerks think she buys “tiny dildos in bulk.” Her fear of social judgment—combined with Victor’s insistence on doing the right thing—leads her to return the pills and creates the whole incident. The final line using the episode as an excuse never to go back reveals how anxiety can turn one awkward moment into a permanent avoidance strategy.

2. What does the bag of penis‑shaped stress toys symbolize in the context of Jenny’s narrative?
The toys symbolize the unpredictable, often bizarre nature of the fan mail Jenny receives and how she reframes potential insults as endearing oddities. They also represent her tendency to turn potentially shameful situations into shareable comedy—the toys become props for an Instagram video and part of a snake‑chasing adventure. Their ambiguity (gift or insult?) mirrors Jenny’s own struggle to read others’ intentions.

3. How does Victor’s reaction to the story reflect his role in Jenny’s life?
Victor’s initial glance suggests he suspects Jenny is inventing an excuse; later he sighs, puts his face in his hands, but still helps collect the melty toys from the car. He balances pragmatism (disconnecting the call, asking if she wrecked the car) with patience. His line “I’m not sure that’s something to brag about” shows gentle teasing without dismissing her experience. Together, these moments depict Victor as a grounding figure who accepts the chaos but keeps it from spiraling.