Chapter 7 Summary: I Hate It Here: “Food Wars” Would Be the Most Annoying Anime to Live In
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Omar Holmon opens by asking which fictional universe readers would choose to live in. He dismisses the Marvel Universe because of constant collateral damage in New York, and the Star Wars universe because both the Sith and the Resistance are incompetent. He initially considers the Naruto universe, praising its themes of redemption through bonds and friendship. However, he admits he lacks Naruto’s boundless compassion and would rather kill his enemies than convert them. To illustrate, he imagines a scenario where Naruto tries to talk down an opponent while Holmon delivers a devastating kick. He then highlights Sasuke Uchiha’s long trail of betrayals and argues that Sasuke should have been beaten much earlier. Concluding that he does not have the temperament for Naruto’s world, Holmon turns to Food Wars.
He acknowledges that Food Wars is a well-made anime that teaches real cooking chemistry, but he cannot stomach its signature trope: every dish causes judges to have an orgasmic reaction, complete with disrobing and erotic moans. Holmon uses several imagined scenarios to show how awkward day-to-day life would become if eating triggered such fan service. Conversations with friends and family would be interrupted by orgasms, restaurant patrons would engage in public sexual acts, and servers would face impossible cleanup. He ends by suggesting that while some people might enjoy the constant eroticism, the practical costs—like skyrocketing laundry bills—are too high for him. For Holmon, the Food Wars universe is a place he would never willingly reside.
Key Events
- Holmon rejects living in the Marvel, Star Wars, and Naruto universes for practical and temperamental reasons.
- He imagines himself killing an enemy mid-redemption speech because he lacks Naruto’s forgiveness.
- Holmon uses Sasuke’s crimes to argue that some characters simply need physical punishment, not sympathy.
- He shifts to Food Wars and describes the erotic fan service that accompanies every meal in that anime.
- He creates a hypothetical conversation with a friend who orgasms over a frittata while Holmon discusses grief.
- Holmon reflects on the absurdity of public dining, nipple clamps, and the noise of orgasms interfering with date nights.
- The essay closes with a wry calculation of the “cost of living” in the Food Wars universe: too many changes of clothes.
Character Development
The chapter is a first-person essay by Omar Holmon, so it does not feature traditional character arcs. Instead, Holmon develops his persona as a pragmatic, blunt anime fan who refuses to suspend disbelief when tropes clash with everyday logic. He positions himself as someone who loves the medium but is unwilling to tolerate its most extreme conceits. His voice is consistent: humorous, profane, and grounded in Black cultural references (e.g., Freaknik, Adina Howard, Shawn Michaels). The essay reinforces the persona of the “Black nerd” who analyzes pop culture through a lens of real-world consequences.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Suspension of disbelief vs. real-world practicality: Holmon contrasts the narrative logic of anime (e.g., Naruto saving Sasuke) with what he would actually do (beat Sasuke). The Food Wars fan service is critiqued because it makes daily life unlivable.
- Cost of living in a fictional universe: The chapter uses literal costs (laundry, cleanup, social awkwardness) to mock the idea that any anime world is a paradise.
- Humor as critique: By exaggerating scenarios (table 5 orgasming over mac and cheese), Holmon exposes the absurdity of anime tropes that fans often accept without question.
- Black nerd perspective: References to Freaknik and Adina Howard ground the critique in a specific cultural experience, making the analysis feel personal and distinct from mainstream anime commentary.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter exemplifies the central project of Black Nerd Problems: taking pop culture fandom seriously while approaching it with humor, irreverence, and a Black point of view. Holmon’s essay challenges the common fantasy of “living in an anime world” by forcing readers to examine the hidden absurdities and costs. It also provides a counterpoint to the typical white-washed or uncritical fan discourse by insisting that mundane real-world consequences matter. The chapter is a standout for its comedic timing, relatable frustration, and clever use of thought experiments.
Study Questions and Answers
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Why does the narrator reject the Naruto universe?
Holmon lacks Naruto’s extreme compassion. He would rather kill his enemies than convert them, and he believes characters like Sasuke deserve a physical beating long before any heart-to-heart talk. -
What is Holmon’s main critique of Food Wars?
The consistent erotic fan service—clothes flying off, moaning, orgasms—would make normal social interactions impossible. He argues that even delicious food is not worth the constant sexual distraction and cleanup. -
How does Holmon use humor to advance his argument?
He exaggerates hypothetical situations (a friend orgasming mid-conversation, nipple clamps at table 3, servers wiping down sticky tables) to the point of absurd comedy, which makes his underlying point—that the trope is ridiculous—land more effectively.