The Number 333: From Grounding Technique to Permanent Mark in Audre & Bash

What Is the Number 333?

In Audre and Bash Are Just Friends, the number 333 initially appears as a grounding technique for panic attacks. Bash introduces it to Audre via late-night text in Chapter 20, explaining the 333 method: when you feel panic coming on, you focus on three things you can see, three things you can hear, and three things you can touch. Audre, who has prescribed this method to others but never used it herself, reluctantly agrees to try it. Later, the number becomes a permanent tattoo on her inner wrist, transforming from an external coping strategy into an embodied reminder of self-care and trust.

Where the Number 333 Recurs

The symbol appears at three key moments in the novel:

How the Meaning Changes

The number 333 undergoes a clear transformation across the novel:

1. An external suggestion – In Chapter 20, Bash offers the technique as a practical tool. Audre is reluctant, calling it “embarrassing” to admit she has panic attacks. The number has no personal weight yet.

2. A lifeline in crisis – In Chapter 23, Audre actually uses the method when she freezes at the sight of Ellison. She whispers, “I see darkness. I hear a light-skinned Bieber song. I feel you holding my hand.” Here, 333 becomes a functional anchor, helping her survive a moment of intense fear. Notably, she adapts it to her immediate environment, showing she is beginning to internalize the practice.

3. A permanent commitment – In Chapter 32, Audre asks Bash to tattoo 333 on her inner wrist. She tells him, “I feel like I’m spinning out. And I need something to ground me.” The tattoo is no longer a temporary tool; it is a permanent reminder that she can always return to herself. The act of getting inked is also an act of trust—Bash is the only person she would let mark her body. The number now symbolizes her willingness to be vulnerable, her rejection of control, and her embrace of healing.

Character Connections

Audre Mercy-Moore

Audre is a perfectionist who acts as everyone else’s therapist while suppressing her own struggles. The 333 method directly challenges her need for control: she must admit she has panic attacks in order to use it. The tattoo in Chapter 32 marks her decision to prioritize her own well-being over appearances. It is also a private symbol of her relationship with Bash, a secret she carries with her even when they are apart. Learn more about Audre Mercy-Moore.

Bash Henry

Bash is the one who teaches Audre the 333 method, demonstrating his empathy and his own experience with emotional pain. He later tattoos the number on her, solidifying their bond. For Bash, the tattoo is both an artistic act and a declaration of care. He admits he has “fantasized about this moment a disturbing amount of times,” revealing how much he values being trusted with something permanent. See the Bash Henry character page.

Theme Connections

Healing and Vulnerability

The number 333 is a direct tool for managing panic—a symptom of Audre’s hidden trauma. By using it and later marking it on her body, she moves from hiding her anxiety to openly addressing it. This aligns with the novel’s broader theme that healing requires vulnerability. Explore Healing and Vulnerability.

Friendship vs. Romance

The 333 technique begins as a friendly suggestion from Bash to Audre, part of their “funsultant” arrangement. But the tattoo scene in Chapter 32 is charged with romantic and sexual tension. The number thus bridges their friendship and their evolving romantic relationship. It’s a shared secret that no one else understands. More on Friendship vs. Romance.

Perfectionism and Pressure

Audre resists using the 333 method because it means admitting she is not in perfect control. Her eventual embrace of the tattoo represents a rejection of the perfectionism her mother Eva also struggles with. The number is a small, defiant mark of imperfection and self-acceptance. Read about Perfectionism and Pressure.

Identity and Reinvention

Audre begins the novel tightly wound, defined by her role as everyone’s caretaker. The tattoo—a visible change to her body—signals her reinvention. She chooses a symbol that is deeply personal, not one that others would easily decode. This mirrors Bash’s own reinvention (name change, new life in New York) and connects to the theme of Identity and Reinvention.

Study Questions with Answers

1. Why does Audre initially resist using the 333 method, even though she has prescribed it to others?
Audre admits she has never used the technique herself because “then I’d be admitting that I have panic attacks. Admitting that I have panic attacks makes me wanna have a panic attack” (Chapter 20). This reveals her struggle with acknowledging her own vulnerability, which conflicts with her self-image as the composed one who helps everyone else.

2. How does the context of the 333 method shift from Chapter 20 to Chapter 23?
In Chapter 20, the method is introduced as a theoretical suggestion during a text conversation. In Chapter 23, Audre actually deploys it in a real panic situation when she sees Ellison at a party. She adapts the method by naming specific sensory details: darkness, a Bieber song, and Bash’s hand. This shows she has internalized the practice and that Bash’s presence is now part of her grounding.

3. What does the tattoo of 333 symbolize for Audre’s relationship with Bash?
The tattoo represents complete trust. Audre admits she is scared of needles, but she lets Bash—who is not yet a licensed professional—ink her permanently. The act is intimate and vulnerable, and Bash treats it as sacred: “I’ve fantasized about this moment a disturbing amount of times” (Chapter 32). The number also memorializes the grounding technique he gave her, making their bond physically indelible.

4. How does the 333 tattoo connect to the novel’s broader exploration of family secrets and generational trauma?
Audre gets the tattoo on the same day she has learned about her mother’s lies and her grandmother’s mysterious past (Chapter 31). The tattoo becomes a personal anchor amid family chaos. It is a secret she keeps for herself, separate from the family narratives she is trying to decode. In a story about the weight of family expectations, the 333 is Audre’s private symbol of self-care—an antidote to the pressure she feels from her mother, her grandmother, and her own perfectionism. Explore Generational Trauma and Family Secrets.

Conclusion

The number 333 in Audre and Bash Are Just Friends evolves from a texted coping strategy into a permanent tattoo, marking Audre’s journey from denial to acceptance of her own mental health needs. It ties directly to her relationships with Bash and her family, and it embodies the novel’s central themes of vulnerability, trust, and self-reinvention. By choosing to wear the number on her skin, Audre declares that she is no longer just everyone else’s rock—she is also her own.