Chapter 63: How Could I? – Summary and Analysis
Spoiler Warning: This page contains major spoilers for A Soul of Ash and Blood. Read on to explore the events and meaning of Chapter 63.
Summary
Hawke lies awake watching Poppy sleep in the Blood Forest, wrestling with the weight of what he must do. He relives every moment they have shared—from the Red Pearl to the brutal Rite, her scars, her confessions, and the intimacy of the previous night. Overcome with guilt, he realizes he is no better than the Ascended because he will soon hand her to the Blood Crown to ransom his imprisoned brother Malik and avert war. He desperately searches for another path, but every scenario collapses. Time is slipping away, and he knows that once Poppy learns the truth, she will hate him and never trust him again. He vows to find an exit plan for her before that moment.
When he rises, Kieran confronts him. The wolven challenges Hawke’s claim that Poppy’s affection is merely a tool of manipulation, pointedly asking if last night was part of the plan. Hawke bristles, but Kieran’s warning—remember your task—echoes the battle inside him. They discuss the journey ahead, agreeing to ride through the night to reach New Haven by morning, denying themselves the delay of Three Rivers.
Hawke returns to Poppy and gently wakes her. Banter passes between them, easing his turmoil. He helps her rise, straightens her sweater, and then offers a quiet, honest thanks for the trust she gave him. He calls it an honor, a truth that cuts deep because it exposes the impossible divide between what he is doing and what he feels. The chapter closes with Hawke’s internal conflict pushing him toward a breaking point.
Key Events
- Hawke reflects on Poppy’s courage, their night together, and the horror of the Rite, each memory deepening his guilt.
- He admits to himself that he is no better than the Ascended if he trades her for his brother’s freedom.
- Hawke frantically searches for an alternative plan but finds none; he resolves to create an escape route for Poppy before she learns his secret.
- Kieran confronts him, questioning whether sleeping with Poppy was strategic and urging him to remember his true task.
- The two decide to push through the night toward New Haven instead of stopping at Three Rivers.
- Hawke wakes Poppy, and their comfortable intimacy contrasts with his inner torment.
- He thanks Poppy for her trust, describing it as an honor—a moment of raw sincerity that underscores the cost of his impending betrayal.
Character Development
- Hawke (Casteel): The chapter strips away his layers of deflection. He fully confronts the moral weight of using Poppy, acknowledging that his justifications are fraying. His admission that she will hate him foreshadows the emotional fallout to come. The honor he feels in her trust becomes both a lifeline and a blade, pushing him to actively seek an alternative to his original plan.
- Poppy: Though she sleeps through much of the chapter, Poppy’s presence drives every decision. Her trust, her vulnerability, and the risk she took in sharing herself with Hawke become the emotional anchors that begin to shift his mission. Her simple gratitude and blush upon waking reinforce the genuine connection they share.
- Kieran: He acts as a loyal but wary conscience. By questioning Hawke’s motives and reminding him of the stakes, Kieran highlights the conflict between duty and emotion. His blunt warning shows he sees the danger in Hawke’s growing attachment, foreshadowing future tension.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Trust and Betrayal: Poppy’s unguarded trust in Hawke makes his planned betrayal more devastating. The chapter portrays trust as a gift that, once broken, cannot be repaired.
- Honor in Vulnerability: Hawke’s declaration that her trust is an honor reframes intimacy as a profound exchange, not just a physical act. This motif elevates the personal stakes beyond political maneuvering.
- Time Pressure: From the dawning gray skies to the decision to ride through the night, the motif of running out of time amplifies Hawke’s desperation and the urgency of his need for a new plan.
- Masks and Identity: Hawke’s self-loathing (“I am no better than the Ascended”) underscores the theme of false identities. He wears the mask of Hawke while hiding Casteel’s true aim, and he fears the unmasking will destroy everything.
- The Blood Forest: The eerie, silent forest mirrors Hawke’s internal desolation and the moral stain of his mission.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 63 is the hinge on which Hawke’s inner arc turns. Until now, he has suppressed doubt; here, doubt becomes undeniable guilt and the catalyst for a new resolve. It clarifies that his feelings for Poppy are no longer a liability he can ignore—they are reshaping his entire purpose. Kieran’s challenge exposes the tension between Hawke’s mission and his heart. This moment lays the groundwork for the inevitable revelation of his true identity and the desperate measures he will take to protect Poppy, making it a crucial turning point in the narrative.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does Hawke’s internal monologue reveal his moral conflict?
Hawke explicitly equates himself with the Ascended, calling himself a beast who will send Poppy back to unthinkable atrocities. He inventories every moment they shared, each one deepening his guilt. His frantic mental search for an alternative plan shows he can no longer view Poppy as a simple pawn. The conflict between freeing his brother and preserving Poppy’s safety becomes a near-physical weight pressing on his chest, signaling that his original justifications are crumbling.
2. What role does Kieran’s confrontation play in the chapter’s tension?
Kieran forces Hawke to verbalize the truth he is avoiding. By asking if “last night was part of the plan” and insisting he remember his task, Kieran acts as an external mirror for Hawke’s conscience. The irritation and urge to punch each other reflect the internal battle Hawke is fighting. Kieran’s disbelief that Hawke can separate mission from emotion foreshadows the imminent need to choose between them.
3. In what way does the theme of trust foreshadow the coming betrayal?
Hawke repeatedly focuses on Poppy’s trust as an honor and a risk. He acknowledges that once she learns the truth, she will hate him and herself, and she will work against him. This admission not only heightens the emotional stakes but also plants the seed for his desperate search for an exit plan. The trust he cherishes becomes the very thing that will shatter when his deception surfaces, setting the stage for a catastrophic turning point.