Field Hockey Stick and Practice: Symbols of Confidence and Identity

Field Hockey Stick and Practice as Symbols

In K.L. Walther’s A First Time for Everything, the field hockey stick and the act of practice operate as concrete, recurring symbols of Madeline “Mads” Fisher-Michaels’s sense of self. The stick is not merely a piece of sports equipment—it becomes an extension of her agency, control, and confidence. Practice, meanwhile, represents a sanctuary where Mads feels competent and grounded, in stark contrast to the social and familial pressures that often unsettle her. This analysis examines the literal recurrence of these symbols, how their meaning shifts over the course of the novel, and their connections to key characters and themes such as coming of age and self-discovery, family obligation and belonging, and trust and communication.

Literal Meaning and Recurrence

The field hockey stick is a graphite or composite shaft with a curved head used to dribble, pass, and shoot a small ball. Mads carries her stick to team practices and drills, often in the company of her teammate friends. The object appears in several key episodes:

Chapter 5 – After the bridal party sleepover, Mads’s father Da drives her to practice. She reflects that outdoor training “allowed you to stretch your legs and get creative” and thinks, “Thank god I’m back where I belong.” The stick is in her hands as she joins ladder drills, partner passing, and mini-games.
Chapter 13 – Marco visits Mads at her front field while she does “stickwork drills.” She waves at him with her stick, then later plays a casual match with him, scoring five goals.
Chapter 20 – For her eighteenth birthday, Connor gives Mads a new field hockey stick: black with a red handle and white skulls, nicknamed “Lady Death.” The gift symbolizes both his understanding of her passion and her renewed commitment to the sport.
Chapter 26 – While the novel’s climax involves a wedding and Mads’s first sexual experience, the specter of her earlier ankle injury—sustained off the page—hovers over her identity, as she reflects she “wouldn’t change [the past year] except the broken ankle.”

Practice recurs as a structured activity: warm-ups, drills, scrimmages, and conditioning. It is a space where Mads’s body knows exactly what to do, offering relief from the uncertainty of her relationships with Katie, Marco, and even her brother Austin.

Evolution of Meaning

Initially, practice functions as a refuge from social awkwardness. When Mads feels out of place among Katie’s bridesmaids or confused about Marco, she finds clarity on the field. In Chapter 5, she contrasts her insecurity at the sleepover with the confidence she feels during practice: “Here I was confident and on fire, not constantly wondering if I said the wrong thing or was somehow being judged.” The stick gives her physical control when her emotional world feels chaotic.

As the novel progresses, the stick becomes a symbol of identity and future aspiration. Mads works hard to be recruited for college field hockey; she commits to the University of Pennsylvania and wears a “PENN FIELD HOCKEY” hat in Chapter 13. Her stickwork drills are not just leisure—they are preparation for her college career. When she tells Austin in Chapter 1 that she needs to “get recruited,” she is asserting that field hockey defines part of who she is beyond her family role.

By the later chapters, especially after her ankle injury is mentioned, the stick and practice carry a threatened meaning. Mads’s injury puts her athletic future at risk, making her reflect on how much she values the sport. Though the injury is not described in detail until Chapter 25, its presence hangs over her sense of agency. The stick is no longer a guarantee of control but a fragile link to a self she might lose. This evolution aligns with the theme of growing up and agency: Mads’s identity is challenged, and she must re-earn it.

Character and Theme Connections

Mads – The stick is most directly tied to her inner confidence. When she holds it, she feels competent. When Marco arrives while she is practicing, she uses the stick to wave—a gesture that merges her athletic identity with her romantic interest.

Marco Álvarez – Marco’s visit in Chapter 13 is a turning point. Mads invites him to play with her extra stick. Their game—where she scores five goals and calls “obstruction” when he blocks her—becomes a metaphor for their dynamic: flirtatious, competitive, and honest. The shared stickwork allows them to communicate without the awkwardness of texts.

Connor McCallister – As Mads’s best friend, Connor gives her the personalized “Lady Death” stick. The gift bridges their friendship with his unspoken romantic interest. It also reinforces Mads’s sense of being seen for who she truly is.

Da and family – Da drives Mads to practice, supporting her athletic ambitions. Practice is also a space where her family’s presence (Da in the stands) reinforces the theme of family obligation and belonging—but here it is affirming rather than constraining.

Themes – The stick and practice directly embody the coming-of-age and self-discovery theme: Mads discovers who she is through the sport. They also touch on trust and communication (the game with Marco) and friendship versus romance (Connor’s gift vs. Marco’s challenge).

Study Questions

How does Mads’s attitude toward practice change from Chapter 5 to Chapter 20?
Answer: In Chapter 5, practice is an escape from social pressure; Mads feels “back where I belong.” By Chapter 20, practice is intertwined with her plans for college and her relationship with Connor—the “Lady Death” stick symbolizes a deeper commitment. The ankle injury later adds a note of vulnerability, showing that practice can no longer be taken for granted.
Why does Mads wave at Marco with her field hockey stick in Chapter 13, and what does this gesture reveal about her identity?
Answer: The wave is a reflexive, confident gesture that shows Mads feels most authentic when she is on the field. It signals that her athletic identity is central to how she presents herself, especially to someone she likes. The stick becomes an extension of her self-expression.
How does the field hockey stick serve as a contrast to the bridesmaid dress in the novel?
Answer: The stick represents control, power, and competence, while the bridesmaid dress—which does not fit and makes Mads feel exposed—symbolizes her discomfort with expectations imposed by Katie and the wedding. The two objects embody the tension between Mads’s true self and the role she must play for her family.
In what ways does practice act as a sanctuary for Mads, and how is that sanctuary threatened?
Answer: Practice offers a space where Mads’s skill and effort are rewarded, providing relief from social anxiety, family obligations, and romantic confusion. The threat comes from her ankle injury, which jeopardizes her ability to play and, by extension, her sense of identity. The injury forces her to re-evaluate what matters beyond the sport.