The Mistletoe Incident: A Symbol of Misunderstood Rejection in Two Can Play

What Is the Mistletoe Incident?

The mistletoe incident is a pivotal, single-scene event that takes place at the engagement party of Viola’s cousin, roughly one year before the main plot of Two Can Play. At the party, Viola’s family spots her standing under mistletoe beside Jesse Andrews, the rival game designer she has long admired. Her family—and later other guests—chant for them to kiss. Viola braces for a quick, obligatory kiss on the cheek, expecting it to be awkward but brief. Instead, Jesse refuses loudly: “I don’t think so,” he says, his expression clearly disgusted. He later tells her cousin that he “doesn’t want anything to do with her” and that it is “better that way.” This public rejection becomes “The Mistletoe Incident,” a moment of humiliation that Viola carries with her for a full year.

The incident is described in Chapter 2 from Viola’s first-person perspective. The scene is vivid: the crowded room, the mistletoe dangling above them, the sudden silence after Jesse’s refusal, and Viola’s burning cheeks. She overhears his cold words to her cousin afterward, which cement her belief that Jesse feels contempt toward her.

Where Does It Recur? How Its Meaning Changes

The mistletoe incident is not a recurring event in the sense of happening multiple times, but it recurs as a memory and a reference point at critical moments throughout the novel. Each recurrence deepens its symbolic weight and gradually reshapes Viola’s understanding of what happened.

First Recurrence: Chapter 2 (Initial Memory)

Viola recalls the incident when she must decide whether to work with Jesse at the retreat. She frames it as evidence of his “persistent indifference” and the endpoint of her crush. At this stage, the event symbolizes closed doors and irreparable rejection.

Second Recurrence: Chapter 5 (Confrontation in the Library)

When Viola confronts Jesse about his coldness, she explicitly references the mistletoe: “What about the mistletoe? That was so mean!” Here, she uses the incident to accuse him of cruelty. Jesse’s reaction—rubbing his wrist as if scarred by her touch—hints that his feelings are more complicated. The incident now symbolizes the barrier between them that neither can cross or explain.

Third Recurrence: Chapter 10 (The Hot Tub Revelation)

After a series of forced-proximity encounters at the retreat, Viola and Jesse sit in the hot tub and finally talk. Jesse reveals that he had asked Viola out six years earlier but she unknowingly rejected him by telling a story about being harassed by a persistent male colleague. He interpreted that story as a request to keep his distance. Regarding the mistletoe, he admits that he “couldn’t stop thinking about how cornered you must have felt.” He claims he said “I don’t want anything to do with her” not because he disliked her, but to protect her from his own unwanted feelings and to take the blame. This reframing transforms the incident from a symbol of rejection into a symbol of misunderstood protection.

Fourth Recurrence: Chapter 12 (Confession)

Later that night, Viola returns Jesse’s gloves and confesses she had a crush on him until the mistletoe incident. Jesse clarifies the full context: his refusal was not disgust but a desperate attempt to honor what he thought was her wish to be left alone. The mistletoe incident now becomes the centerpiece of their five-year pattern of crossed signals and missed signals. Its meaning evolves into a cautionary tale about assumptions, timing, and the cost of silence.

Character Connections

Viola Bowen

For Viola Bowen, the mistletoe incident defines her emotional wound. As the youngest of five siblings, she is used to being ignored or pranked, but Jesse’s public coldness feels uniquely personal. She internalizes it as proof that she is undesirable or unworthy of attention. The incident shapes her behavior at the retreat: she initially assumes Jesse’s friendliness is fake and braces for more rejection. Only when she learns the truth does she release the shame and anger tied to that memory.

Jesse Andrews

For Jesse Andrews, the mistletoe incident is a painful act of self-denial. He has liked Viola since their first meeting, but after her apparent rejection he believes he must keep his distance. In public, he chooses humiliation—his own reputation—over pressuring her. His words to her cousin are not an expression of dislike but a cover story. He carries guilt for hurting Viola, and when she confronts him, he clings to his protective story until the hot tub conversation forces the truth.

Supporting Characters

The incident also involves Viola’s family—her cousin, aunts, uncles, siblings—who treat the moment as a harmless joke. Their chanting and laughter amplify Viola’s embarrassment. Mike, Shannon, Mila, and Otto do not witness the incident directly but later become witnesses to its fallout. Their various reactions—Mike’s ignorance, Shannon’s support, Milo’s playful teasing—create a backdrop that reinforces how private some hurts can be.

Theme Connections

Enemies to Lovers

The mistletoe incident is the primary source of the enemies-to-lovers tension. Viola believes Jesse is her enemy; Jesse believes he is protecting himself from her aversion. Until they talk, their mutual avoidance reads as hostility.

Forced Proximity

The symbol gains power through the retreat setting, where forced proximity traps Viola and Jesse in the same cabin, car, and even adjacent bedrooms. They cannot avoid each other, and the mistletoe memory hovers in every interaction.

Miscommunication and Missed Signals

No symbol in the book better illustrates miscommunication and missed signals. Each character assumes they know the other’s heart. The mistletoe moment, born from a failure to clarify a six-year-old misunderstanding, becomes the physical embodiment of the gap between intention and perception.

Workplace Collaboration and Rivalry

The incident also reflects the book’s workplace collaboration and rivalry theme. As rival game designers, Viola and Jesse already distrust each other’s professional motives. The mistletoe incident adds personal distrust to professional wariness.

Healing Through Vulnerability

Ultimately, healing through vulnerability requires both characters to confess the truth behind the incident. Viola must admit she had a crush; Jesse must admit he had feelings and tried to protect her. Their shared vulnerability transforms the mistletoe from a scar into a shared joke and a foundation for intimacy.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Jesse refuse to kiss Viola under the mistletoe at the engagement party?

Jesse refuses because he believes Viola wants nothing to do with him. Six years earlier, he asked her out and she unknowingly rejected him by telling a story about a man who harassed her after repeated romantic advances. Jesse interpreted that story as a warning to keep his distance. At the party, when the crowd pressures them to kiss, he thinks kissing Viola would violate her boundaries, so he refuses publicly to protect her. He later tells her cousin “I don’t want anything to do with her” not from dislike but to cover his own feelings.

Evidence: In Chapter 10, Jesse explains: “I knew how little you wanted me around … I took the blame, making it sound like I was the one who had issues with you, it seemed fair.”

2. How does the mistletoe incident drive Viola’s behavior during the retreat?

Viola carries the incident as evidence that Jesse is indifferent or hostile to her. She expects him to ignore her, avoids being alone with him, and reads his polite gestures (like carrying her duffel bag or saving her muffin) as sarcastic or forced. Her defensiveness creates a feedback loop: her coldness seems to confirm his belief that she doesn’t want him near. Only when she learns the truth does she drop her guard and initiate the kiss in Chapter 12.

Evidence: In Chapter 5, Viola says: “Since last year … I’ve been wondering why you were so cold to me … Weirdly tense dynamic.”

3. What internal shift does Viola undergo regarding the incident?

Viola shifts from seeing the incident as a moment of rejection to understanding it as a moment of misaligned protection. She realizes that Jesse’s refusal was not about disgust but about his long-held belief that she wanted distance. This reframing allows her to forgive him—and herself—for the years of silence. It also frees her to trust him both personally and professionally.

Evidence: In Chapter 12, Viola tells Jesse she “had a crush on him for years, which ended with the mistletoe incident.” After his explanation, she agrees to spend the next days doing “whatever they want,” leading to their first kiss.

4. If the mistletoe incident never happened, would Viola and Jesse’s dynamic change?

Possibly, but the incident functions as a necessary catalyst for their eventual reconciliation. Without the public moment, Viola might never have confronted Jesse so directly about his coldness. The shame and embarrassment force her to articulate her hurt, which eventually leads Jesse to confess the six-year misunderstanding. In that sense, the mistletoe incident—painful as it is—creates the pressure that ultimately breaks their cycle of avoidance. It becomes the crucible through which honesty is forged.

Evidence: The pattern of avoidance lasts five years until the retreat forces them together. The mistletoe is the linchpin that, when discussed, unravels all other secrets.