Chapter 33 Summary & Analysis – Things We Left Behind
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Lucian is in a foul mood, snapping at his employees. Lina confronts him, saying his behavior makes him a “grumpy man bear” and that he’s driving everyone away. After she leaves, Lucian’s mother Kayla Rollins visits to request more funds for an event, awkwardly mentioning she’s seeing someone. Later, Lucian meets with his therapist friend Emry, who calls him out for loving Sloane yet pushing her away. Emry explains that Lucian ties his identity to his abusive father and feels unworthy of happiness, which leads to a self-destructive cycle. Lucian admits he’s been dating other women to confuse Anthony Hugo and protect Sloane, but he remains internally torn.
Key Events
- Lina confronts Lucian – She drags him into an office and tells him he’s being a dick, citing specific incidents: making Holly cry, insulting Nolan, and not knowing about Malik’s grandmother’s death. She warns that employees are leaving.
- Petula’s remark – She reports that everyone is working from home after Nolan and Petula encouraged it.
- Lucian’s mother visits – Kayla Rollins comes to discuss a budget overrun for an event, and reveals she’s seeing someone. Their conversation is stilted, avoiding any mention of Lucian’s father.
- Security for Kayla – Lucian orders Petula to give security instructions, citing a need to protect his mother from Anthony Hugo.
- Meeting with Emry – Lucian visits his therapist friend, who pours scotch and delivers a blunt diagnosis: Lucian loves Sloane but feels unworthy, so he self-sabotages. Emry warns against prioritizing winning over happiness.
- Lucian’s admission – He explains his recent dating spree is a ruse to make Hugo believe Sloane means nothing to him. Despite this, he checks his phone obsessively for messages from her.
Character Development
- Lucian Rollins – The chapter exposes his vulnerability. His anger and rudeness are a mask for his pain over Sloane and his past. Lina and Emry’s confrontations force him to acknowledge his self-destructive behavior. He is completely unaware of how his actions affect others, and his refusal to feel worthy keeps him trapped.
- Lina – She proves to be a loyal but blunt friend, willing to risk her job to tell Lucian the truth. Her insight that he’s not as “done” with Sloane as he thinks shows her perceptiveness.
- Kayla Rollins – Lucian’s mother is portrayed as fragile and tentative, still living in the shadow of her husband’s abuse. Her discomfort around her own son and her relationship reveal the emotional scars the family carries.
- Emry – The therapist offers a professional yet personal perspective. He understands Lucian deeply and calls out the imposter syndrome that drives Lucian’s choices. Emry’s own frustration shows his care for Lucian.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Self-destruction and unworthiness – Emry directly states that Lucian sabotages anything good in his life because he believes he doesn’t deserve happiness. This is rooted in his association with his father.
- Imposter syndrome – Emry argues that everyone feels like an imposter, but the truly dangerous people are those who feel entitled. Lucian sees himself as a “self-aware villain,” which is just another form of avoidance.
- Protection through isolation – Lucian pushes away Sloane and his employees to protect them from Hugo and to maintain control. His dating spree is a calculated performance, but it costs him genuine connection.
- Family legacy – The conversation with Kayla highlights how both mother and son avoid discussing the father. Their awkwardness and Lucian’s guilt over not noticing her life details reinforce the theme of hidden trauma.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a turning point for Lucian’s emotional arc. Lina and Emry’s interventions force him to see the pattern he’s been denying. Emry’s diagnosis of self-sabotage due to unworthiness is the most explicit explanation of Lucian’s inner conflict so far. It sets up the crucial question of whether Lucian can break his cycle and choose love over winning. Additionally, the introduction of Kayla Rollins gives readers more context about Lucian’s family trauma and his deep-seated need to protect those close to him, even at the cost of his own happiness.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Lina consider her confrontation with Lucian a “fireable offense”?
Lina grabs Lucian by the jacket and pulls him into an office, then dismisses Carl. She later tells Lucian she doesn’t care if she’s fired because she didn’t sign up to work for a “grumpy man bear.” Her actions directly violate professional boundaries, but she believes the message is more important.
2. According to Emry, what is the root cause of Lucian’s self-destructive behavior with Sloane?
Emry says Lucian’s identity is “tightly bound to how he sees his father.” Because his father didn’t deserve happiness, Lucian believes he doesn’t deserve it either, so he pushes love away whenever he gets something good.
3. How does Lucian try to protect Sloane from Anthony Hugo in this chapter?
He goes on dates with other women to make it look like Sloane is just another meaningless conquest. He tells Emry he’s “confusing” Hugo so that Hugo won’t target Sloane because of him. This is a deliberate, though painful, strategy.