Grief and Loss in The Score: Dean Di Laurentis’s Spiral and Redemption

Understanding Grief in The Score

In The Score, grief is not merely sadness—it is a corrosive force that dismantles Dean Di Laurentis’s carefree persona, exposes his emotional immaturity, and ultimately pushes him to confront his own vulnerability. The sudden death of his best friend Beau Maxwell triggers a spiral of substance abuse and isolation that threatens his relationships, his hockey career, and his sense of self. Kennedy uses Dean’s journey to argue that unprocessed grief, when met with avoidance rather than acceptance, can destroy the very connections a person needs most—and that redemption only comes when the griever stops hiding and starts making amends.

The Shock of Loss: Numbness and Avoidance

Dean’s first reaction to the news of Beau’s death is pure denial and paralysis. When his roommates tell him Beau died in a car accident—neck snapped on impact—Dean cannot process the words. In Chapter 30 (as seen in the outline), he grabs a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, isolates in his room, and drinks until he is “disgustingly, pathetically, lost-in-oblivion drunk.” He cannot attend the memorial service the next day. Instead, he sits at home in a black suit, clutching a vodka bottle. Allie finds him there, and though she tries to comfort him, he is unreachable. This stage of grief is characterized by numbness; Dean refuses to let the reality sink in, using alcohol as a barrier between himself and the pain.

Kennedy illustrates how this avoidance hurts those around him. Allie attends the memorial alone, watching Beau’s sister Joanna sing “Let It Be,” while Dean remains absent. His absence is not just physical—it is emotional. He cannot “stomach” seeing Beau’s parents, yet by choosing to hide, he denies himself the communal grieving that might have helped him. The tequila that Dean once fetched to make a movie more tolerable now becomes a symbol of his destructive escapism, a way to blur reality rather than face it.

The Spiral: Substance Abuse and Self-Destruction

In the weeks following Beau’s death, Dean’s grief solidifies into a daily pattern of drinking and drug use. He misses hockey practice, skips coaching the Hurricanes youth team, and blows off Allie’s opening night to get high on molly with friends, claiming they were “reminiscing about Beau.” The confrontation that follows (Chapter 32) is the novel’s emotional turning point. Allie, furious and heartbroken, shouts: “You can’t just drink all the pain away.” She reminds him that she watched her mother die of cancer and learned to face grief, not flee from it. Dean’s defensive reply—“My best friend fucking died, Allie”—shows how he uses Beau’s death as a shield against accountability.

This spiral also damages Dean’s relationships outside of Allie. He vanishes from the lives of the Hurricanes kids, especially Dakota, a young figure skater he had been mentoring. Dakota, whose father abandoned her, feels the sting of Dean’s disappearance acutely. Allie has to step in to reassure her. Dean’s substance abuse is a symptom of his inability to cope, but it becomes a cause of more pain for everyone around him. The complexity here is that Dean is both a victim of his grief and an agent of harm—his self-destruction is not a passive experience but a series of active choices that hurt others.

The Turning Point: Apologies and Accountability

After Allie leaves him, Dean finally confronts the wreckage. In Chapter 33 (from the outline), he writes a “Kill Bill list” of people to apologize to—not murder, but a hit list of amends. He systematically apologizes to Hannah, his teammates, Coach Ellis, the Hurricanes youth team, and, crucially, to Dakota and Joanna Maxwell. The apology to Dakota is especially raw: he admits he “disappeared” and that his friend died, and he promises to return. Dakota’s forgiveness is swift, but it forces Dean to see the consequences of his avoidance.

This sequence marks Dean’s shift from avoidance to accountability. He does not wait for Allie to come back; he actively rebuilds the bridges he burned. He apologizes to Joanna, vowing to stay in touch because “Beau was important to me.” He returns to coaching the Hurricanes and takes responsibility for his suspension from the hockey team. The act of making amends becomes a form of grieving—not a replacement for feeling the loss, but a way to honor Beau by living better. The salsa dancing lesson he later arranges for Allie (as a surprise to make her happy) symbolizes his capacity to channel his energy into love rather than escape.

Complexity and Contradiction

Dean’s grief arc is not neat. He does not simply move through stages and emerge healed. Even after his apology spree, he still struggles with the permanence of Beau’s death. The novel acknowledges that grief is messy and cyclical. Allie’s own experience with her mother’s death gives her both patience and limits—she can understand Dean’s pain, but she refuses to be his crutch. The contradiction is that Dean’s worst behavior (the drug use, the missed play) comes from the same place as his best qualities: his deep loyalty and love for Beau. He cannot easily separate them.

Kennedy also complicates the idea of redemption. Dean does not magically fix everything; he still has to live with the consequences of his suspension and the hurt he caused. But the final chapter shows him and Allie happy, joking about being “boring,” and Dean asking if the excitement is over. That moment of domestic contentment is earned precisely because Dean endured the difficult work of grief and repair. The novel refuses to pretend that loss can be erased, but it suggests that growth is possible when the griever stops running.

Five Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Dean’s use of alcohol and drugs function as a coping mechanism for grief?
   It temporarily numbs his pain, but it also isolates him from his support system and delays the necessary work of acceptance. His substance abuse becomes a way to avoid Beau’s absence, but it ultimately deepens his loneliness and nearly costs him Allie.

2. Why does Allie decide to leave Dean after his molly incident?
   She sees that he is using Beau’s death as an excuse for self-destruction and refuses to take responsibility. Allie, who lost her own mother, knows that avoiding grief only prolongs suffering. She leaves because she cannot watch him waste his life, and she believes he needs a wake-up call.

3. What role does the character Dakota play in Dean’s recovery?
   Dakota represents a vulnerable person who depends on Dean. When he disappears from her life, he repeats the pattern of abandonment she experienced from her father. By apologizing to Dakota and returning to coaching, Dean confronts his fear of letting people down and begins to rebuild his sense of responsibility.

4. How does Dean’s “Kill Bill list” of apologies symbolize his shifting approach to grief?
   The list transforms his grief from a private, destructive spiral into a public act of accountability. Instead of hiding, he actively seeks out the people he hurt, acknowledging his failures and promising to do better. This shift from avoidance to action is the key to his redemption.

5. In what way does the novel suggest that grief can be both isolating and a catalyst for growth?
   Initially, grief isolates Dean: he drinks alone, misses events, and pushes Allie away. Yet hitting rock bottom forces him to re-evaluate his identity and his relationships. Through the process of apologizing and rebuilding trust, he develops a deeper capacity for vulnerability and love. The novel argues that grief, while painful, can lead to meaningful change if the griever is willing to face it.