Chapter 87 Summary: Inside the Two Years and Eight Months Ago Flashback
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
The chapter opens with Grayson alone in the tree house, sitting with his knees pulled to his chest. He holds a haiku he wrote as a child, and the metal of the paperclip bites into his fingers. He reflects on his eight-year-old self, who wrote haiku after haiku, crossing out words and tearing sheets from his notebook because three lines had to be perfect. He had agonized over focus, content, metaphors, and wording—a drop of water, the rain, the wind, a petal, a leaf, love, anger, sorrow. Reading it now, he thinks it wasn't perfect, and that he wasn't perfect, and this is the cost.
Everywhere he looks, he sees Emily—her amber hair, her wild smile, her body lying on the shore. He forces himself to say the word dead out loud, but notes that nothing hurts the way it should. He remembers telling Jameson that when words are real enough, exact, beautiful, perfect, and true, they hurt. He had wanted Emily to love him and choose him. Being with her made him feel like perfection didn't matter, like he could afford to lose control sometimes.
He blames himself. He took her to the cliffs when Jameson wouldn't. He recalls the words: some people can make mistakes, but he is not one of those people.
A brutal, repetitive sound breaks the silence—not a fist, but splintering wood. Grayson looks out the window and sees Jameson on one of the bridges below, wielding an ax with other blades at his feet: a longsword, a hatchet, a machete. The bridge is barely holding, but Jameson keeps attacking it, like he can't wait to fall.
Nash runs toward them and climbs up, demanding to know what Jameson is doing. Jameson replies that the answer is apparent, swinging harder. Grayson thinks Jameson blames him—and that he should. Nash warns Jameson he'll hurt himself, and Grayson says to let him, surprised by his own robotic voice.
Jameson discards the ax and picks up the machete. Nash pleads with him, acknowledging that Emily's death isn't right or fair, offering to help set something on fire if that's what either brother needs—but not this. Jameson destroys the bridge completely, and Nash barely escapes to the other side. Nash tells Jameson he's hurting. Jameson replies that nothing hurts unless you let it, nothing matters unless you let it, and goes at the tree house walls with the machete.
Grayson finds himself on the ground beside the longsword. Nash warns him not to come closer. Grayson tells him not to tell him what to do. Jameson calls him the heir apparent. Grayson imagines his brother asking why she's dead if he's so perfect. He says out loud that it's his fault. Jameson responds that nothing is ever Grayson's fault. Nash catches Jameson's wrist and says enough.
Grayson thinks the sentence I killed Emily—five syllables, so real and true they hurt. He drops his childhood haiku to the ground, picks up the longsword, and starts swinging at the tree house.
Key Events
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Grayson sits alone in the tree house, holding a haiku from his childhood and reflecting on his perfectionism.
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The chapter reveals that Grayson took Emily to the cliffs—something Jameson wouldn't do—and that he blames himself for her death.
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Jameson attacks and destroys the bridge with an ax, machete, and other blades.
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Nash arrives and tries to intervene, warning Jameson he'll hurt himself and pleading with him to stop.
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Jameson declares that nothing hurts or matters unless you let it, then turns the machete on the tree house.
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Grayson descends, picks up the longsword, and confesses that it's his fault.
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Jameson dismisses the confession, saying nothing is ever Grayson's fault.
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Grayson drops the haiku and joins Jameson in destroying the tree house.
Character Development
Grayson. This flashback reveals the origin of Grayson's rigid self-control. His childhood perfectionism—agonizing over haiku until every word was exact—is shown to be a lifelong pattern, and Emily's death has confirmed his worst fear: that he is not perfect, and that imperfection has deadly consequences. His belief that he killed Emily by taking her to the cliffs is the central wound of this chapter. Notably, his final thought—I killed Emily—is five syllables, the middle line of a haiku, suggesting that his grief has become its own kind of terrible poetry. His decision to join Jameson in destruction marks a rare loss of control.
Jameson. Jameson's grief manifests as violence. He destroys the bridge—the thing holding him up—like he can't wait to fall, and he turns his blades on the tree house, a place both brothers loved. His claim that nothing hurts unless you let it is a defense mechanism, an attempt to numb himself to Emily's death. His line about Grayson being the heir apparent and his dismissal of Grayson's confession suggest resentment and a refusal to let Grayson claim even the guilt.
Nash. Nash is the mediator, the brother who tries to stop the destruction. He acknowledges that Emily's death isn't right or fair, offers an alternative outlet (fire), and physically intervenes when Jameson raises the machete again. His warning to Grayson not to come closer shows he's trying to protect both brothers from themselves.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Perfectionism and its cost. The haiku is the central symbol. Grayson's childhood obsession with making three lines perfect mirrors his adult belief that he must be perfect—and that Emily's death is the price of his failure. The haiku's structure also echoes in his final thought, I killed Emily, which is five syllables, the middle line of a haiku form.
Guilt and self-blame. Grayson's conviction that he killed Emily drives the entire chapter. He takes responsibility even when Jameson refuses to assign it to him.
Destruction as grief response. Both Jameson and Grayson express their grief through physical destruction—the bridge, the tree house. Nash's offer to help them burn something suggests he understands the impulse but wants to redirect it.
Words and pain. Grayson's remembered statement about words that are real and true hurting connects to the haiku and to his final five-syllable confession. The chapter suggests that the most painful truths are the most precisely worded ones.
Sibling conflict. The chapter shows the brothers fractured by grief, with Jameson's destruction and Grayson's self-blame creating a rift that Nash tries to bridge.
Why This Chapter Matters
This flashback is essential backstory. It explains the emotional state of the Hawthorne brothers in the aftermath of Emily's death and reveals the specific guilt Grayson carries: he took Emily to the cliffs when Jameson wouldn't. It also shows the origin of the brothers' fractured relationships and introduces the haiku as a symbol of Grayson's perfectionism, which will resonate throughout the novel. The chapter's final image—Grayson dropping the haiku and picking up the longsword—marks a turning point in his character, a moment where he abandons control and joins the destruction.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does the haiku function as a symbol in this chapter?
The haiku represents Grayson's perfectionism and his belief that words—and by extension, actions—must be exact to be valid. As a child, he tore out sheet after sheet because three lines had to be perfect. As an adult, he reads the haiku and concludes that it wasn't perfect, and that he wasn't perfect, and that Emily's death is the cost. The haiku's structure also echoes in his final thought—I killed Emily is five syllables, the middle line of a haiku—suggesting that his guilt has become a kind of brutal poetry.
2. Why does Jameson destroy the bridge and the tree house, and what does this reveal about his grief?
Jameson attacks the bridge—the thing holding him up—like he can't wait to fall, and then turns his machete on the tree house, a place both brothers loved. His destruction is a physical expression of his grief and his numbness. His claim that nothing hurts unless you let it reveals a defensive philosophy: he's trying to convince himself (and others) that he can choose not to feel the pain. The fact that he destroys things he loves suggests self-destructive impulses, and his refusal to accept Grayson's confession shows he's not ready to process the loss in any shared way.
3. What does Nash's role in this scene reveal about his character and his relationship with his brothers?
Nash is the mediator and the voice of reason. He arrives to stop Jameson, warns him he'll hurt himself, and offers an alternative outlet for the grief—he'd help them set something on fire, but not destroy the tree house. He acknowledges that Emily's death isn't right or fair, showing empathy. His physical intervention—catching Jameson's wrist and saying enough—demonstrates that he's willing to put himself in harm's way to protect his brothers. His warning to Grayson not to come closer suggests he's trying to prevent the destruction from escalating further.