Chapter 29: The Official Asshole Rating Scale

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

After their first sexual encounter, Campbell and Hazel lie on the floor eating chips and watching reality TV. Campbell, feeling anxious, tries to clarify that he is not looking for a relationship. Hazel teases him about his ego and agrees wholeheartedly, listing his flaws and emphasizing that she only wants physical intimacy. They discuss keeping their arrangement secret from others, especially his brothers and the town. Campbell admits he already told his brothers about their previous kiss, frustrating Hazel. They make a pact to hide the relationship and maintain "game faces" in public. After making sandwiches, Zoey arrives unexpectedly at Hazel's door. Hazel hides Campbell in a coat closet. Zoey announces she has secured a small magazine profile for Hazel. While hiding, Campbell receives a text from Felicity, who spotted him sneaking out in his underwear and demands a month of free grocery delivery as blackmail.

Key Events

Campbell and Hazel have sex multiple times and then share a snack picnic on the floor.
Campbell initiates a conversation to ensure they are on the same page about not wanting a relationship.
Hazel agrees but calls him out for assuming she would demand commitment after good sex.
They agree to keep their physical relationship secret and not tell anyone, including family and friends.
Campbell reveals he already told his brothers about the kiss; Hazel is annoyed.
They set ground rules: no lusty looks, no flirting, and no discussing the arrangement.
After eating sandwiches, Zoey arrives at the door unannounced.
Hazel hides Campbell in a coat closet to avoid detection.
Zoey shares news about a magazine profile she landed for Hazel.
Campbell receives a blackmail text from Felicity, who threatens to expose him if she doesn't get free groceries for a month.

Character Development

Campbell experiences internal conflict: he gets exactly what he wanted (physical intimacy without commitment) but feels unsettled and defensive. His insistence on secrecy reveals his fear of judgment from his brothers and the town, as well as his own shame about the arrangement. He struggles to articulate his feelings, showing his poor communication skills. His anxiety about being labeled an "asshole" on his own rating scale drives much of his behavior.

Hazel remains confident and practical. She is unbothered by Campbell's attempts to set boundaries and even mocks his ego. She values her privacy and wants to avoid becoming town gossip, aligning with her goal to focus on her writing. Her quick agreement to secrecy and her ability to deflect Zoey's suspicions show her adaptability and her own desire to keep the relationship separate from her work life.

Zoey appears briefly as an enthusiastic agent who is deeply invested in Hazel's career. Her surprise visit demonstrates how small-town life can intrude on private moments.

Felicity, though only present via text, emerges as a potential antagonist or comic foil, using observation for personal gain.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

The Official Asshole Rating Scale: Campbell mentally places himself on this scale after making secret-keeping and no-relationship demands, highlighting his self-awareness and guilt.
Secrecy vs. Small-Town Gossip: The pact to hide the relationship contrasts sharply with the ever-present threat of exposure (the Neighborly app, Felicity's blackmail). The coat closet becomes a literal symbol of the hidden affair.
Physical Satisfaction vs. Emotional Disconnect: Both characters enjoy the sex but avoid deeper emotional engagement. Campbell's "sinking feeling" shows the dissatisfaction creeping in despite his words.
The New Couch: The brand-new couch they break in symbolizes the start of something fresh and the physical foundation of their arrangement.
Teenage Parallels: Hiding in a closet and sneaking out mirrors adolescent behavior, emphasizing the regression or immaturity in their attempts to manage the relationship.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 29 formally defines the boundaries of Campbell and Hazel's physical relationship, setting up a classic "friends with benefits" tension that will likely complicate their feelings as the story progresses. It introduces the theme of secrecy as a plot driver, especially with Felicity's blackmail threat, which adds external conflict. Campbell's emotional unease—despite getting what he wanted—foreshadows his eventual need for genuine connection. The chapter also deepens the portrayal of small-town life, where privacy is scarce and every action is observed.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Campbell insist on keeping the arrangement a secret from his brothers and the town?
Campbell fears his brothers' judgment and concerns about the remodel project, and he wants to avoid becoming the subject of town gossip. He believes public knowledge could endanger his family business and make things awkward.
How does Hazel's reaction to Campbell's secrecy demands differ from what Campbell expected?
Hazel agrees immediately and without resentment. She shares his desire for privacy, especially to avoid being the center of gossip. She even points out that her own goal is to write a story, not star in one, showing she values her work over public attention.
What does Felicity's blackmail text reveal about the community in Story Lake?
It shows that residents are observant and willing to use private information for personal benefit. Secrets are hard to keep, and even a brief indiscretion can be leveraged. This reinforces the theme that small-town life lacks anonymity.