Chapter 7 Summary: Three Great Loves — Key Themes and Takeaways

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

In Chapter 7, Quinta Brunson reflects on the idea, borrowed from the movie A Bronx Tale, that a person gets three great loves in life. She declares that she has already experienced all three of hers: Malik, Joshua, and comedy. Each love shaped her in distinct ways, teaching her about heartbreak, ambition, and ultimately, freedom.

Her first great love was Malik Colder, a popular and ambitious classmate she met in tenth grade after transferring to CHAD. Initially, she found him corny—he was an aspiring rapper who sold his own “power drink” and ran a mock record label—but they became close friends, bonding over silly comedy movies and a shared sense of humor. Despite his persistent pursuit, she kept him in the “close friend” category until prom.

Prom became a pivotal moment. Brunson, a Jehovah’s Witness, knew her strict parents would never approve of her attending, especially with a non-Witness date. She devised a plan: she asked Afan, a popular but sexually active classmate whose father was a Witness, to be her date, and lied to her parents that Afan was a devout Christian boy. After securing permission, she had her uncle Brunsi make her a mint-green dress inspired by Beyoncé’s in Dreamgirls. On prom night, she and Afan attended, and during the king and queen dance, she was paired with Malik. The dance, set to Robin Thicke’s “Lost Without U,” shifted her feelings—she suddenly saw Malik in a new light. After prom, she confessed she liked him, and they kissed.

Their relationship blossomed quickly. They dated through high school and into college, despite Malik moving to Chicago for Columbia College and Brunson staying in Philadelphia for Temple. They maintained a long-distance romance, with Brunson secretly flying to Chicago seven times, lying to her parents about her whereabouts. They shared a love of Transformers and spent hours together, including a memorable adventure hunting for the Transformers 2 film set in Philadelphia. But the relationship unraveled when Malik began pulling away, gaslighting her when she questioned his behavior. He eventually broke up with her, and a month later, she discovered he had a new girlfriend—a “Chicago version” of herself.

The breakup plunged Brunson into a deep depression. She stopped attending classes, stopped eating, and lost weight, dropping to eighty pounds. She didn’t tell her family because they didn’t know she had a boyfriend. It took her a year to recover, two years to stop talking to Malik daily, and four years to fully get over him. She eventually earned her own closure, forgiving him and moving on.

At twenty-two, still recovering, she decided to take a break from Temple and get a job. She landed a position at the Apple Store in the King of Prussia Mall, where she was assigned a mentor named Joshua. Joshua was six years older, witty, and patient. They clicked immediately, and after her training ended, he asked her out. Their first date was at a trivia night at a bar, and they ended up sleeping together, during which Joshua said “I love you.” They became inseparable, and Joshua introduced her to new experiences—cooking, camping, Bob Marley, and even good weed. He also made her feel beautiful, stating her beauty as a fact.

However, their relationship hit a wall when Joshua asked her to move in with him. Brunson had always been clear about her dream of moving to Los Angeles to pursue comedy. Joshua hadn’t taken that dream seriously, and when she reiterated her plans, he broke up with her a week later, saying he didn’t want to stand in the way of her ambitions. Unlike with Malik, this breakup gave her closure and no games, which allowed her to move on quickly and solidified her resolve to pursue comedy.

Her third and final great love is comedy itself. Brunson traces her love of comedy back to childhood, when she imitated a line from Martin and got laughs from her family. She later became obsessed with SNL and researched its cast members, discovering the Second City as a common training ground. After her breakup with Malik, she used a trip to Chicago to take a weeklong improv intensive at Second City, lying to her mom about visiting a friend. In the class, she was the only Black person, but she felt at home. Her teacher, Shelly Gossman, recognized her talent and gave her $500 to take a sketch writing course. That course taught her the fundamentals of writing for sketch, TV, and film, and she knew comedy was her life’s work.

Brunson concludes that comedy taught her that love, at its best, is easy, kind, and freeing. Love isn’t limited to human form; it can be found in art and passion. She wishes readers good fortune and lots of laughter.

Key Events

Brunson meets Malik in tenth grade and becomes close friends despite finding him corny.
She lies to her parents to attend prom with Afan, a non-Witness, and is crowned prom queen with Malik as king.
The king and queen dance sparks a romantic relationship between Brunson and Malik.
They date through high school and college, maintaining a long-distance relationship with secret flights to Chicago.
Malik breaks up with her, and she discovers he has a new girlfriend a month later, leading to a deep depression.
Brunson recovers over several years and takes a job at the Apple Store, where she meets Joshua.
She and Joshua date, but he breaks up with her when she refuses to move in together, prioritizing her dream of moving to LA.
Brunson takes an improv class at Second City, where teacher Shelly Gossman encourages her and funds her sketch writing course.
She realizes comedy is her third and final great love.

Character Development

Brunson’s character evolves significantly in this chapter. At the start, she is a high schooler who is confident in her social standing but unsure of her romantic feelings. Her relationship with Malik teaches her about vulnerability, heartbreak, and the pain of unrequited love. She learns to recognize gaslighting and to value her own emotional intelligence. After the breakup, she hits rock bottom but gradually rebuilds herself, gaining independence through her job at Apple. With Joshua, she experiences a healthier relationship that still ends because of her ambition, but this time she gains closure and clarity. Her journey culminates in her embracing comedy as her true love, which gives her a sense of purpose and freedom. Throughout, she becomes more self-aware, learning that love should not compromise her dreams.

Malik is portrayed as charming and ambitious but ultimately immature, unable to handle the demands of a long-distance relationship and resorting to gaslighting. Joshua is kind and supportive but lacks the same drive for change, representing a comfortable but stagnant future. Shelly Gossman emerges as a mentor who validates Brunson’s talent and invests in her future, showing the impact of supportive teachers.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Love as Freedom: Brunson repeatedly connects love with the ability to be oneself without fear. Her improv experience makes her realize that love should feel like freedom, a theme that runs through her relationships.
Comedy as a Constant Love: Comedy is portrayed as a lifelong companion that predates and outlasts her romantic relationships. It is the one thing that remains consistent and fulfilling.
Heartbreak and Recovery: The chapter explores the depths of depression after a breakup and the slow, earned process of healing. Brunson emphasizes that closure is not given but earned over time.
Ambition vs. Relationship: Her relationships with Malik and Joshua both end because of her ambition—Malik can’t handle the distance, and Joshua can’t accept her LA dream. This motif highlights the tension between personal goals and romantic partnership.
Mentorship and Support: Shelly Gossman’s financial and emotional support is a turning point, showing how external validation can fuel a creative career.
The Symbolism of the Prom Dance: The dance with Malik is a turning point where she sees him differently, symbolizing how a single moment can shift a relationship.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is pivotal in She Memes Well because it explains how Brunson’s personal experiences shaped her comedic identity. It shows her resilience in overcoming heartbreak and depression, and it clarifies why comedy became her ultimate passion. The chapter also provides insight into her family dynamics, her faith, and the challenges of pursuing an unconventional career. By framing comedy as a great love, Brunson redefines success and fulfillment, making this chapter a cornerstone of her memoir’s narrative arc.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Brunson’s relationship with Malik influence her understanding of love and heartbreak?

Brunson’s relationship with Malik teaches her about the intensity of first love and the pain of betrayal. His gaslighting makes her question her own sanity, but she later recognizes it as manipulation. The breakup and his quick rebound lead to a severe depression, but she eventually learns that closure must be earned through time and self-reflection. This experience makes her more cautious and self-protective in future relationships.

2. What role does Joshua play in Brunson’s decision to pursue comedy?

Joshua is a supportive partner who introduces her to new experiences and makes her feel valued, but he doesn’t take her dream of moving to LA seriously. His refusal to consider a future beyond their current life forces Brunson to confront the incompatibility between her ambition and his comfort. His breakup, framed as not wanting to stand in her way, gives her the push she needs to commit fully to comedy.

3. How does the concept of “love as freedom” manifest in Brunson’s relationship with comedy?

Brunson first experiences this feeling during her improv class at Second City, where she performs without a script and feels liberated. She realizes that love, in any form, should allow her to be her full self without fear. Comedy gives her that freedom, unlike her romantic relationships, which often required compromise or hiding parts of herself. This realization solidifies comedy as her final great love.

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