Chapter 84 'True': Summary, Analysis, and Study Notes
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Now, let's dive into Chapter 84, titled “True.”
This chapter is a raw and honest look at Reha's emotional state as her mother's condition remains critical.
It captures her fear, her guilt, and her desperate need to understand what might happen if Amma does not recover.
The chapter also introduces a conversation about death and the afterlife that offers different perspectives from Reha's friends, highlighting the diversity of belief systems and the universal uncertainty that surrounds death.
Through this, LaRocca explores themes of loss, identity, and the ways we cope with the possibility of losing someone we love.
The chapter's title, “True,” suggests a moment of painful honesty—both with herself and with her friends—as Reha confronts the reality of her situation.
Let's examine the chapter in detail.
Summary
The chapter opens with Reha acknowledging that Amma remains desperately ill with pneumonia and is still in the intensive care unit, not improving despite the doctors' efforts.
Reha's visits are limited to just a few minutes, and she privately admits that this restriction is a relief, though she feels embarrassed about that feeling.
When she does see Amma, her mother is asleep, and her breathing is controlled by a machine.
Reha is struck by the contrast between the mother she knows—always in motion—and the still, machine-dependent figure before her.
The ICU environment makes Reha feel physically ill, dizzy, and weak, and she questions how she can ever become a doctor if the hospital affects her this way.
Her father notices her distress and suggests that she should not visit every day, encouraging her to do things that make her happy.
But Reha cannot imagine feeling happy while her mother is so sick.
She is consumed by the fear that Amma will never leave the hospital and that life will never return to normal.
She is terrified to ask her father whether Amma might die, because she believes that voicing the question could somehow make it come true.
Instead, she turns to her friends to ask what happens after death.
Sunny offers the idea of reincarnation, suggesting that Amma might become a new baby, a bird, or a butterfly, or perhaps become one with God.
Pete shares that he has been taught that good people go to heaven.
Rachel, however, admits that no one truly knows, but she describes how her family remembers her grandfather each year on the anniversary of his death by lighting a candle and talking about him all day, so that in a way he is still with them.
Rachel gently suggests that Reha might not need to think about this right now.
Key Events
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Reha visits Amma in the ICU, but visits are limited to a few minutes, and she feels relief despite her guilt.
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She observes Amma's stillness and the machine that controls her breathing, which contrasts with her mother's usual energy.
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Reha experiences physical symptoms of anxiety in the ICU, leading her to doubt her ability to become a doctor.
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Daddy notices her distress and advises her to skip daily visits and do things that make her happy, but Reha cannot imagine being happy.
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Reha fears that Amma will never leave the hospital and that nothing will be normal again.
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She is afraid to ask her father if Amma might die, believing that asking could make it happen.
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Reha asks her friends Sunny, Pete, and Rachel about what happens after death.
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Sunny suggests reincarnation; Pete mentions heaven for good people; Rachel admits uncertainty but describes her family's candle-lighting remembrance ritual.
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Rachel tells Reha that she doesn't need to think about this right now.
Character Development
This chapter reveals Reha's deep internal conflict and vulnerability.
Her relief at the limited visits is a source of shame, showing her guilt about not being able to bear the ICU environment.
Her physical reaction to the hospital—feeling sick, dizzy, and weak—forces her to question her long-held dream of becoming a doctor, adding a layer of identity crisis to her already overwhelming fear.
Reha's decision to ask her friends about the afterlife instead of her father demonstrates her fear of confronting the possibility of her mother's death directly.
She is superstitious about the power of words, believing that asking could make it true.
This shows her desperation and her attempt to find some control or understanding in a situation where she feels powerless.
Daddy's role here is supportive but limited; he notices her distress and tries to protect her by suggesting she stay away, but he does not address the deeper fear.
This leaves Reha to seek answers from her peers.
The friends each offer a different perspective: Sunny's spiritual and reincarnation-based view, Pete's religious heaven, and Rachel's honest uncertainty combined with a tangible memorial practice.
Rachel's response is particularly grounding, as she acknowledges the unknown but offers a way to keep a loved one present through memory and ritual.
This moment shows Reha's support network and the different ways people cope with mortality.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Fear of losing a parent: The chapter is saturated with Reha's fear that Amma will never leave the hospital and that life will never be normal again.
This fear is so intense that she cannot even voice the question about death.
- Uncertainty of the afterlife: The friends' differing answers—reincarnation, heaven, and honest uncertainty—highlight that no one truly knows what happens after death.
This uncertainty is a central theme, and Reha's search for answers reflects her need for reassurance.
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Diverse religious beliefs: Sunny, Pete, and Rachel represent different belief systems, showing that people find comfort in various spiritual or secular frameworks.
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Remembrance as immortality: Rachel's description of lighting a candle and talking about her grandfather suggests that memory can keep a person alive in a symbolic way.
This offers a potential source of comfort for Reha, though she may not be ready to accept it yet.
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Hospital anxiety and doctor identity crisis: Reha's physical and emotional reaction to the ICU makes her question her ability to become a doctor, introducing a conflict between her aspiration and her current reality.
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Guilt over relief: Reha feels embarrassed that she is relieved to have limited visits, showing her guilt about not being able to handle the situation.
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Machine-controlled breathing and stillness versus motion: The contrast between Amma's usual energetic motion and her current stillness, with her breathing controlled by a machine, symbolizes the loss of her vitality and the invasive nature of medical intervention.
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Candle as memorial symbol: The candle in Rachel's story represents remembrance, continuity, and the presence of the deceased in the lives of the living.
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Fear of asking about death: Reha's superstition that asking about death might make it happen is a powerful motif, illustrating her magical thinking and desperation.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 84 is a pivotal moment in Reha's emotional journey.
It brings her fear of losing her mother to the forefront and forces her to confront the possibility of death, even though she cannot directly ask her father about it.
The chapter also deepens her internal conflict about becoming a doctor, as her visceral reaction to the hospital environment challenges her identity and future plans.
The conversation with her friends introduces a range of perspectives on the afterlife, which not only provides a moment of philosophical reflection but also shows Reha's support system and the ways different people find meaning in the face of loss.
Rachel's candle ritual offers a tangible way to remember someone, which may become significant later in the story.
This chapter matters because it sets up Reha's emotional state and the questions she will need to grapple with as her mother's condition evolves.
It also highlights the theme of uncertainty and the human need to find hope or understanding in the face of the unknown.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Reha feel relieved that her visits to Amma are limited, and why does she feel embarrassed about that relief?
Reha feels relieved because the ICU environment makes her physically ill, dizzy, and weak, and seeing her mother so still and dependent on a machine is deeply distressing.
She is embarrassed because she feels she should want to be with her mother as much as possible, and her relief feels like a betrayal or a sign of weakness.
This guilt adds to her emotional burden.
2. How do Sunny, Pete, and Rachel each respond to Reha's question about what happens after death, and what does this reveal about their beliefs?
Sunny suggests reincarnation, offering possibilities like a new baby, a bird, or a butterfly, or becoming one with God, reflecting a spiritual and cyclical view of life.
Pete says that good people go to heaven, indicating a Christian-based belief in an afterlife for the righteous.
Rachel admits that no one truly knows, but she describes her family's practice of lighting a candle and talking about her grandfather on the anniversary of his death, showing that she finds comfort in remembrance rather than certainty.
These responses reveal the diversity of beliefs and the common thread of seeking comfort in the face of death.
3. What does Reha's fear of asking her father whether Amma might die reveal about her state of mind?
Reha's fear shows that she is in a state of denial and magical thinking.
She believes that voicing the question could make it come true, which indicates how powerless and desperate she feels.
She is trying to protect herself from the possibility of a devastating answer by avoiding the question altogether, but this also prevents her from finding any reassurance or closure.
This fear highlights her vulnerability and the overwhelming nature of her anxiety.