Chapter 13 Summary: Grounded In God

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The chapter opens on October 13, 2009, when the author ends her relationship with Steven, becoming single for the first time in a year and a half—and, counting the earlier chaos with Mr. E, truly unattached for the first time in more than three years. The feeling is scary, overwhelming, and wonderful all at once.

In the months that follow, she takes deliberate steps toward healing. She sees a counselor, adopts a seven-year-old white Persian cat named Jeeves from a rescue shelter, and works on restoring her relationship with God and with herself. She reflects that she owes both an apology for enduring abuse for so long. Though she experiences moments of sadness and doubt about leaving Steven, she is certain she will not return to the relationship, concluding that fleeting sadness is preferable to a lifetime of misery.

Feeling empowered in her new single life, she searches for others sharing similar revelations. Turning to television, she finds only warnings about the dangers of being single past a certain age and reality dating shows depicting women competing desperately for men. In bookstores, she finds guides to finding and keeping a man but nothing about becoming a better woman. Frustrated by these narratives, she decides that since she cannot find the sassy, confident, independent single role model she seeks, she will become one.

Working at a nonprofit technology company for more than two years, she feels uninspired and wants to tap into her lifelong passion for writing. She prays for the right platform and makes it a New Year's resolution to find an outlet. In early 2010, she discovers a listing for a Nashville Single Women Examiner on Examiner.com, applies with writing samples, and is offered the position. The pay is pennies per click, but she balances it with her full-time job, rushing home each day to write columns on confidence, dating, red flags, friendships, and breakups, debunking myths about single life.

In February 2010, she creates a Twitter page to promote her column. After discovering The Single Lady is taken, she settles on The Single Woman, launched on February 1, 2010. Her first tweet is a Katherine Hepburn quote: If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. She builds the platform organically from zero followers, following New Kids on the Block fans because they are likely her age, possibly single, and fiercely loyal. The strategy works, and the ladies spread her message enthusiastically. Mastin Kipp, creator of The Daily Love, becomes a mentor and promotes her page, eventually recommending it to Kim Kardashian, who becomes her first celebrity follower. The audience grows from one hundred to one thousand to ten thousand and beyond.

A striking coincidence reinforces her sense of divine purpose: her license plate ends with the letters TSW, which she had purchased long before starting The Single Woman. She interprets this as God knowing who she was before she figured it out. She connects the platform's growth to a prophecy received a decade earlier—that she would one day speak into the lives of many young women.

She models her message on Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, describing herself as an edited-for-TV version of Carrie with a touch of Joyce Meyer. As her voice evolves, she moves from quoting others to finding her own blend of humor and straight talk.

The platform attracts numerous offers: an audition for The Bachelor, meetings with Bravo and Warner Brothers about reality show ideas, production companies wanting to option her story, a hosting gig on a dating show, and even a chocolate named after her. She is offered a show with a contract but walks away, feeling none of it is the right fit. She believes God is telling her to wait, so she continues juggling her PR job and The Single Woman for nearly three years, comparing herself to Superwoman.

One memorable meeting takes place at CMT, her former employer, five years after being fired. Wearing a cream-and-black-striped dress she calls her Carrie Bradshaw dress, she walks confidently through the front doors and receives VIP treatment on the fourth floor. Though nothing comes of the meeting, it strengthens her faith, and she reflects that God's vindication is superior to petty revenge.

She also faces her anxiety at speaking engagements, shaking and sweating on stage before a peace washes over her. She connects her fear to spiritual warfare, citing Ephesians 6:12 about wrestling against spiritual forces and the shield of faith from verse 16.

Finally, she creates a vision board with three goals: meet Oprah, sign a book deal, and leave her day job to become a full-time writer. Within two years, all three dreams become realities.

Key Events

October 13, 2009: The author ends her relationship with Steven
Healing period: counseling, adopting Jeeves, restoring faith
Discovery of the Examiner.com position and becoming Nashville Single Women Examiner
February 1, 2010: Launch of The Single Woman Twitter page
Organic growth through NKOTB fans and Mastin Kipp's promotion
Kim Kardashian becomes first celebrity follower
License plate TSW coincidence
Declining reality show and media offers
CMT meeting five years after being fired
Speaking engagements and confronting anxiety
Vision board creation and fulfillment of all three goals

Character Development

The author transforms from heartbroken and uncertain to empowered and purposeful. She moves from seeking external validation to trusting God's timing, declining lucrative offers that don't feel right.
Jeeves the cat represents her new life and commitment to caring for something (and herself).
Mastin Kipp serves as a mentor figure, demonstrating the importance of community and support.
Carrie Bradshaw functions as a fictional touchstone—an imperfect single woman who still believes she deserves the world.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Faith and divine destiny: The author repeatedly interprets events—the license plate, the prophecy, the platform's growth—as evidence of God's plan.
Challenging media narratives: She positions her work as a corrective to harmful portrayals of single women.
Full-circle moments: The CMT meeting and NKOTB fans both demonstrate how past experiences circle back meaningfully.
Speaking dreams into existence: The vision board and Proverbs 18:21 quote emphasize the power of words.
Hustle and sacrifice: She juggles her day job and writing for nearly three years.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter marks the pivot from personal healing to public purpose. It shows how the author's pain and recovery became the foundation for a platform that would reach hundreds of thousands of women. It also establishes the spiritual framework that governs her decisions, explaining why she declines opportunities that don't align with her sense of divine calling.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does the author decide to become the role model she couldn't find?

She searched television and bookstores for positive portrayals of single life and found only warnings about aging and desperation to find a man. Since nothing matched her experience, she decided to write what she knew and become the sassy, confident, independent single woman she wished existed.

2. What role does faith play in her decision-making during this period?

Faith is central. She prays for a platform, interprets the TSW license plate as divine confirmation, believes the prophecy about speaking into many young women's lives, and declines media offers because she feels God is telling her to wait. She attributes the platform's success to God being at the wheel.

3. How does the CMT meeting illustrate the theme of full-circle moments?

Five years after being fired from CMT, she returns for a meeting and receives VIP treatment. Though no deal results, the experience demonstrates how far she has come and reinforces her faith. She reflects that losing the job led to her emotional breakdown, which ultimately gave her strength and wisdom.