Grief and Forgiveness: A Central Theme in Mistakes Were Made

Thematic Claim

In Mistakes Were Made, grief is not a solitary wound but a shared burden that distorts judgment and stalls healing; forgiveness becomes the only path forward, requiring the bereaved to release their own guilt, accept imperfection, and humanize the person who caused the loss. Lucy Score argues that forgiveness is not a pardon of the act but a courageous choice to stop punishing everyone involved—including oneself.

Tracing the Theme Across Three Plot Points

1. Laura’s Demand: Humanizing the Driver

The first major step toward forgiveness appears in chapter 19 when Laura Bishop brings Valerie, the driver who killed her husband Miller, to Gage’s law office. Laura insists that Gage defend Valerie against criminal charges. Gage’s initial reaction is fury: “She killed Miller” and “She deserves to be punished.” Laura counters by revealing the accident’s context—Valerie was an exhausted ICU nurse whose toddler threw a pacifier, causing a momentary distraction. Laura also admits her own guilt: she had suggested running on the road that morning to keep her new sneakers clean. She tells Gage, “That’s why Miller’s dead.” This scene forces Gage to see Valerie not as a monster but as a flawed human who has already lost her job, her marriage, and her peace of mind. Laura’s act of forgiveness—reaching out to Valerie months after the crash—plants the seed for Gage’s eventual transformation.

2. Gage’s Relapse and His Mother’s Intervention

Gage’s progress stalls in chapter 43 when he lashes out at Zoey after she risks injury to protect his client Audrey from an abusive ex-husband. He calls Zoey “stupid and selfish,” triggering her deepest fears of being “too much” and abandoned. His brothers Levi and Cam tear into him: “You basically imploded your relationship on purpose using everything you knew would hurt her.” Gage’s mother then visits him at home and connects his current panic to the childhood trauma of being adopted. She reminds him that as a four-year-old he prayed to be “good enough” so nothing bad would happen—and that he has spent decades trying to control outcomes through perfection. Her words challenge his false belief: “You can’t protect everyone you love from all the bad things out there.” This moment forces Gage to confront his own grief and the guilt he carries for not preventing his family’s pain.

3. The Act of Forgiveness: Gage Visits Valerie

In chapter 46, Gage appears at Valerie’s door before dawn. He admits he has stayed up all night because of his brother’s cat and a raccoon, but more importantly because he realized, “How can she forgive me if I can’t forgive you?” He takes Valerie’s hands and says, “I forgive you.” Valerie protests that what she did “was unforgivable,” but Gage insists: “You made a mistake. It was just a mistake. You shouldn’t have to pay for it for the rest of your life.” He hugs her, noting the butterfly sticker in her hair and feeling that she has taught him “everything [he] needed to know about forgiveness.” This scene shows that forgiveness is not a single event but a practice: Valerie’s years of taking responsibility without excuse made it possible for Gage to extend grace.

Character and Symbol Connections

Gage Bishop’s arc ties directly to his family. His sister Laura models forgiveness by befriending Valerie; his parents provide steady support; his brothers call him out when he backslides. Even Miller’s memory becomes a symbol: Laura says Miller “was the most forgiving person on the planet,” and Gage eventually acts in that spirit.

The roll of dimes that Zoey finds in chapter 48 symbolizes a small, humble sign of connection and forgiveness. Both she and Gage find dimes in unexpected places, and they agree it is a sign that they are meant to reconcile. The dimes echo the theme that forgiveness can come through quiet, everyday gestures rather than grand speeches.

Zoey’s own need for forgiveness is less about the accident and more about learning to forgive herself for being “too much” and for her ADHD-related struggles. Lucy Score’s author’s note reveals that Zoey’s journey reflects her own late ADHD diagnosis, adding a layer of self-forgiveness to the novel’s tapestry.

Goose the eagle, in contrast, remains a comic element (dropping a snake on Zoey’s head), providing relief from the heavy grief theme without directly engaging with it.

Complexity and Contradiction

Despite the hopeful resolution, the novel does not simplify grief. Laura admits she remembers more of the crash than she initially told her family. Gage’s mother reveals that he has been “almost perfect” his whole life—a coping mechanism that fails him. Wendy’s forgiveness of Valerie does not erase the loss; it only allows the family to stop punishing themselves. Gage’s own guilt about his brother-in-law’s death is never fully resolved—he still calls out for Miller in a crisis. The author suggests that forgiveness coexists with ongoing sorrow. Furthermore, forgiveness is not demanded of the reader; Valerie never asks for it, and Gage grants it only after his relationship crisis forces him to see his own failings.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Laura choose to forgive Valerie, and how does that decision affect Gage?
Laura forgives Valerie because she recognizes the accident as a split-second mistake rather than malice. She also admits her own guilt about suggesting the run. Her forgiveness compels Gage to reconsider his rigid stance, eventually leading him to represent Valerie and later forgive her personally.

2. In what way does Gage’s fight with Zoey mirror his struggle with forgiveness?
When Gage lashes out at Zoey after the Audrey incident, he uses the same harsh judgment he had toward Valerie. Zoey’s fear of being “too much” echoes Valerie’s fear of being unforgivable. Gage must learn that forgiving Zoey requires forgiving himself for his own imperfections.

3. How do the dimes function as a symbol of forgiveness in chapters 48 and beyond?
Zoey finds a roll of dimes in her car door speaker; Gage has a tin of dimes in his closet. Both interpret the coincidence as a sign that they should reconcile. The dimes represent small, unearned gifts of grace—much like forgiveness, which is not earned but offered.

4. What role does family play in shaping the theme of grief and forgiveness?
The Bishop family offers constant support: Laura initiates contact with Valerie; Mom shows up after Gage’s fight; Cam and Levi confront him. Their collective grief forms a net that catches Gage when he falls, reminding him that forgiveness is a communal practice, not an individual achievement.

5. Is forgiveness ever portrayed as weakness or surrender in the novel?
No. Forgiveness is shown as strength. Laura refuses to let another family be destroyed. Gage’s mother tells him he is “good enough” despite his mistakes. Valerie never asks for forgiveness but accepts it with humility. The novel frames forgiveness as a brave act of moving forward without forgetting.