Andrew Shaffer in Look Mom I'm a Poet: Character Analysis of the Self-Appointed Poet Laureate
Overview: The Author as Character
Andrew Shaffer is the narrator, compiler, and subject of Look Mom I'm a Poet, a collection that blurs the line between author and character. He presents himself as a self-appointed "Poet Laureate of Your Mom," a title that immediately signals the book's comic register: the grandiosity of a laureateship collides with the absurdly domestic, maternal modifier. Shaffer's voice throughout is self-deprecating, ironic, and acutely aware of its own failures. He is not a triumphant artist but a figure caught between ambition and deflation, between the desire to be taken seriously as a poet and the recognition that his material—airport yogurt disputes, accidental poetry, parody—will never earn that seriousness.
The book opens with a chapter of promotional blurbs, "Nice Things People Are Saying About Andrew Shaffer," which establishes the public persona before the poems begin. LitReactor calls him "Always funny," USA Today praises him as "Witty…. Clever….," and The Hollywood Reporter compares one of his books to a Saturday Night Live skit. The Associated Press identifies him as "A pro at parodies." But the chapter closes with a single hostile Amazon Customer review: "You're not funny and if I ever met you I would punch you in the face." This juxtaposition is deliberate. The professional praise establishes a credible comic reputation, then the anonymous reader's threat deflates it, setting the tone for a collection that constantly undercuts its own claims.
Plot Role: A Collection as a Character Arc
Because Look Mom I'm a Poet is a poetry collection rather than a novel, Shaffer's "plot" is the arc of his self-presentation across the book's chapters. The narrative spine is the tension between his self-appointed title and the institutional authority that challenges it. In Chapter 30, "The Poetry Guild vs. Andrew Shaffer," the Board delivers a formal notice: it is their "unanimous position" that Shaffer must "immediately cease use of the title 'Poet Laureate of Your Mom.'" The notice cites Working Rule 23(b), which addresses "Usage of falsified credentials," and warns of disciplinary action including "disbarment from the Guild," "forfeiture of the remainder of your annual dues," and "cancellation of your complimentary electronic subscription to the Guild's semi-annual literary journal, The Ox-Yoke Quarterly." The letter closes with a dry "Thank you in advance for your compliance."
This chapter functions as the collection's central conflict. Shaffer has claimed a credential he does not possess, and the Poetry Guild—an absurdly bureaucratic institution with its own semi-annual journal—responds with formal menace. The stakes are comically low (a subscription to a literary journal, annual dues), yet the language is legalistic and grave. Shaffer's role as character is to be the recipient of this notice, the poet whose credentials are falsified, and the figure whose artistic ambitions are perpetually undermined by institutional and mundane realities.
Motivations and Traits Shown Through Actions
Shaffer's motivations emerge through his actions across the collection. In Chapter 3, "Look Mom I'm a Poet," he opens by repeating the chapter title as his declaration, then immediately interrupts himself: "No, wait—" and revises to say he meant "cam girl" instead. He apologizes to the reader with "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." This three-step movement—claim, correction, apology—reveals a narrator who cannot sustain a grand statement without undercutting it. His motivation is not to deceive but to perform, and the performance always collapses into self-awareness.
In Chapter 29, "#SponsoredPost," Shaffer witnesses a woman arguing with a TSA agent over her single-serving blueberry yogurt, which the agent classifies as a liquid. After a pat-down, the woman sits crying and repacking her suitcase. Shaffer offers her a tissue and a comforting line about crying. She asks if he is a poet; he says yes but credits the line to Johnny Depp. She reacts with disgust and leaves. As she rides away on a moving walkway, he calls out another line about joy being a daily choice. She turns, smiles, and together they finish the line, revealing it comes from a Chobani advertisement.
This scene is central to understanding Shaffer's character. He offers genuine comfort, but he cannot let the moment stand: he credits the line to Johnny Depp, deflating his own poetic authority. When the woman asks if he is a poet, he says yes—but the admission is immediately qualified. The second line, from a Chobani ad, completes a pattern: Shaffer's comfort comes from commodified sources, not from original poetic insight. His motivation is connection, but his method is borrowed language, and the connection dissolves as soon as the source is revealed.
Chronological Arc: From Claim to Deflation
The collection's arc moves from confident self-presentation to institutional rebuke to deflating back matter. The opening blurbs establish a public reputation, then the hostile Amazon review undercuts it. The epigraph, attributed to President George W. Bush, asserts that the speaker's sentences "venture into territory no person has previously explored"—a claim of originality that the collection itself repeatedly mocks. Chapter 3's claim-and-correction pattern establishes the narrator's voice. The middle chapters explore alienation, absurdity, and the failure of language. Chapter 30 delivers the Poetry Guild's notice, the collection's dramatic climax. Chapter 31, "In These Challenging Times," offers a brief statement of collective endurance—"we will get through this together"—with a footnote qualifying that this promise does not extend to everyone, noting that some will not survive. The back matter (Chapters 69–73) consists of promotional pages and a bibliography, ending the collection not with artistic triumph but with advertisements and a catalog of the author's other works.
This arc is deliberately anticlimactic. The poet who claims a laureateship ends not with a crowning achievement but with a list of parody titles and a customer review calling one of his books a "Total scam!"
Relationships: Institutional, Interpersonal, and Literary
Shaffer's primary relationship is with the Poetry Guild, an institutional authority that treats his title as falsified credentials. The Guild's notice is formal, unanimous, and bureaucratic, and its threat of disbarment carries comic weight precisely because the stakes are so small. The relationship is adversarial but also absurd: the Guild polices poetic titles with the gravity of a professional licensing board.
His interpersonal relationships are brief and failed. The woman at the airport rejects him after he credits Johnny Depp; the Amazon customer threatens violence; the reader is addressed directly in Chapter 3 with an apology. Shaffer's attempts at connection are consistently undercut by his own self-awareness or by the commodified nature of his language.
His literary relationships are parodic. In Chapter 38, "Poetry Edgelord," he addresses "Walt Shitman" (Walt Whitman) and "William Turdsworth" (William Wordsworth), declaring that "A poem is just a short story / without proper punctuation." This is not reverence but mockery, positioning Shaffer as an anti-tradition figure who deflates the canon. Chapter 47, "The Ballad of Andrew Garfield," offers a line about dying a hero or living long enough to see the reboot—a commentary on cultural recycling that mirrors Shaffer's own parodic practice.
Key Decisions and Consequences
Shaffer's key decision is claiming the title "Poet Laureate of Your Mom." The consequence is the Poetry Guild's formal notice, which threatens disbarment, forfeiture of dues, and cancellation of his Ox-Yoke Quarterly subscription. The decision to claim a falsified credential is the collection's central act, and the Guild's response is its central consequence.
His decision to credit Johnny Depp for the comforting line at the airport has an immediate consequence: the woman's disgust and departure. His decision to reveal the Chobani source of the second line produces a brief moment of shared recognition—she turns, smiles, and they finish the line together—but the connection is rooted in advertising, not poetry. The consequence is a fleeting, ironic intimacy.
His decision to include the hostile Amazon review in the opening chapter is a self-presentational choice that shapes the entire collection. By foregrounding the negative review, Shaffer signals that his book will not defend itself against criticism but will instead absorb it into its own self-deprecating structure.
Theme and Symbol Connections
The character of Andrew Shaffer embodies several of the collection's central themes. His falsified title connects to the commodification of poetry and artistic complicity: he claims a credential to gain legitimacy, and the Guild polices that claim with bureaucratic absurdity. His airport interaction illustrates the absurd gap between artistic ambition and mundane reality: he offers comfort, but the comfort comes from Johnny Depp and Chobani ads. His self-presentation is a critique of performative authenticity and self-improvement: he performs the role of poet while acknowledging the performance. The footnote in Chapter 31, which qualifies collective endurance with the acknowledgment that some will not survive, connects to the ironic treatment of mortality, grief, and nostalgia. And his repeated failures to connect—with the woman, with the reader, with the Guild—illustrate the failure of language and social connection.
Shaffer is also a symbol of the self-published author navigating institutional legitimacy. The back matter, with its promotional pages and bibliography, positions him as a working humorist who compiles accidental poetry and writes Obama/Biden mysteries. The character is not a tragic figure but a comic one, aware of his own limitations and willing to display them.
Five Book-Specific Questions and Answers
1. Why does the Poetry Guild threaten Andrew Shaffer?
The Poetry Guild's Board states its unanimous position that Shaffer must immediately cease using the title "Poet Laureate of Your Mom." The notice cites Working Rule 23(b), which addresses the use of falsified credentials, and warns of disciplinary action including disbarment, forfeiture of annual dues, and cancellation of his subscription to The Ox-Yoke Quarterly.
2. What happens in the airport scene in "#SponsoredPost"?
A woman argues with a TSA agent over her single-serving blueberry yogurt, which the agent classifies as a liquid. After a pat-down, she sits crying and repacking. Shaffer offers a tissue and a comforting line, credits it to Johnny Depp, and she leaves in disgust. He then calls out a line about joy being a daily choice; she turns, smiles, and they finish the line together, revealing it comes from a Chobani advertisement.
3. How does the book open, and what effect does the opening create?
The book opens with "Nice Things People Are Saying About Andrew Shaffer," a series of promotional blurbs from LitReactor, USA Today, The Hollywood Reporter, and the Associated Press. The chapter closes with a hostile Amazon Customer review stating the author is not funny and threatening to punch him. The juxtaposition creates a deflating effect, undercutting the professional praise with a single anonymous threat.
4. What is the epigraph, and how does it relate to the collection?
The epigraph is a quotation attributed to President George W. Bush, asserting that the speaker's sentences venture into territory no person has previously explored. The claim of originality stands in ironic contrast to a collection built on parody, borrowed lines, and accidental poetry.
5. What consequences does the Poetry Guild threaten, and what is the tone of the notice?
The Guild threatens disbarment, forfeiture of the remainder of annual dues, and cancellation of the complimentary electronic subscription to The Ox-Yoke Quarterly. The tone is formal and legalistic, closing with "Thank you in advance for your compliance," which is comically bureaucratic given the absurd stakes.
Conclusion: The Self-Appointed Poet as Comic Anti-Hero
Andrew Shaffer in Look Mom I'm a Poet is a comic anti-hero whose artistic ambitions are perpetually deflated by institutional authority, mundane reality, and his own self-awareness. He claims a title he does not possess, offers comfort through borrowed language, and presents his own failures as the collection's subject. The ending explained page and the questions and answers page offer further exploration of the collection's structure and meaning. Shaffer is not a poet who fails despite his efforts; he is a poet who fails as his method, and the collection's humor depends on that failure being visible, repeated, and never resolved.