Chapter 1: A Better Version of Me – Summary & Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Yvette Thomas no longer finds comfort in reading. Once a devoted romance novel fan, she now sees only words on a page. She pulls her favorite romance, Cupcakes and Kisses, hoping its magic will return, but the scene that used to make her “gooey inside” now leaves her cold. Accepting that the problem is her, not the book, she adds the volume to a donation pile.

Her mother appears, holding a phone. Yvette’s father wants to talk, but Yvette shakes her head and ultimately locks herself in the bathroom. Her mother sighs—a pattern of communication built on small exhalations. Mom asks how long Yvette will “keep this up.” Yvette’s silent answer is forever.

Her mother notices the empty shelves and asks if Yvette is giving away more books. Yvette nods. Mom says, “You used to love them,” as if Yvette were burning them. Yvette tries to steer the conversation toward something real—the divorce—but her mother shifts away, mentioning she and Yvette’s sister Danica will bake brownies. Baking began the day Dad moved out.

Yvette declines, saying she has plans with friends to plan a road trip. Mom remarks that Yvette is out of the house more than in it. Yvette watches her mother’s apron—Kiss the Cook—and imagines the evening with Danica arrayed in a vintage apron, talking about a new boyfriend while Mom tells ER stories and plays reggae. They would all pretend everything is fine. But everything is not okay.

As Yvette gets dressed, she reflects on her mother’s disappointment. She can’t unknow that Dad cheated and left for another woman. She misses the version of herself who believed in happily-ever-after.

Key Events

Yvette tries to re‑read a favorite romance but feels nothing.
She adds the book to a donation pile, clearing more shelves.
Her mother brings the phone for a call from Dad; Yvette refuses.
A brief, tense conversation reveals Mom’s disappointment about the books.
Mom mentions baking with Danica; Yvette declines.
Yvette recalls why she gave up on love: Dad’s infidelity and abandonment.

Character Development

Yvette: Once a hopeful romantic, Yvette now distrusts love stories. She is angry at her father and frustrated with her mother’s avoidance. She clings to her resentment as a way to protect herself.
Mom (Yvette’s mother): Coping through constant baking. She avoids deep conversations about the divorce. Her Jamaican accent surfaces when she’s upset, showing her vulnerability beneath the busy exterior.
Danica (mentioned): Seen as the sister who embraces performance (social media, perfect aprons) and seems unbothered by family turmoil.
Dad (off‑page): The cause of the family fracture. His call is rejected, emphasizing Yvette’s refusal to engage.

Themes, Symbols, and Motifs

Disillusionment with love: Yvette’s inability to enjoy romance novels mirrors her lost faith in real love after her parents’ divorce.
Books as symbols of belief: Giving away books represents Yvette discarding her former self and her childhood ideals.
Baking as avoidance: Mom’s compulsive baking (begun the day Dad left) is a physical manifestation of her refusal to confront emotional pain.
Communication breakdown: The family relies on sighs, mime‑like arguments, and abrupt topic changes rather than honest talk.
Longing for a former self: Yvette yearns for the “better version” of herself—the girl who believed in happily‑ever‑after.

Why This Chapter Matters

This opening establishes Yvette’s emotional state and the central conflict: a shattered family and a protagonist who has lost her faith in love. It introduces the core symbol of romance novels and the motif of avoidance that will likely be challenged later. The chapter also sets up the theme of “unknowing”—can people heal when they can’t unlearn painful truths?

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Yvette give away her romance novels?
Answer: She no longer finds magic in them because her parents’ divorce shattered her belief in happily‑ever‑after. The books now feel like empty words, not transportive stories.
How does Yvette’s mother react to the pile of books?
Answer: She is disappointed, noting that Yvette “used to love them.” She avoids a deeper conversation about the divorce and quickly changes the subject to baking.
What does Yvette mean when she says she wants to “unknow” things?
Answer: She wishes she could erase the knowledge of her father’s cheating and abandonment. That knowledge has changed her identity—she can no longer be the trusting, romantic girl she used to be.