Chapter 7: Am I Doing This Right? – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Clery describes her childhood with mother Marilyn, a free-spirited woman who prioritized creativity, fun, and community over rules and tidiness. The house was chaotic but loving, with homemade costumes, bubble gum wars, and late nights. Clery’s father was often absent due to work and alcoholism; a painful memory involves him mocking her after a family dinner. As an adult mother, Clery finds her mother’s intuitive style doesn’t suit her—she needs routine. A nanny friend creates a strict daily schedule that transforms her parenting. She also recounts online mom-shaming over Alfie’s long hair, breastfeeding, and pajamas, which inspired her Boibs and Pjs All Day clothing lines. The chapter details the gender reveals for Alfie (boy, confirmed by three vivid dreams) and Penelope (girl, which triggered fears that her daughter might repeat Clery’s past traumas). She vows to raise her children with empathy, boundaries, and a sober, safe home. The chapter ends with her “gentle parenting” philosophy: progress over perfection.

Key Events

Clery contrasts her mother’s “Lots-of-Fun-Often-Drunk” parenting with her own need for structure.
A nanny friend creates a timed daily schedule that ends Clery’s nap-time struggles with baby Alfie.
Online criticism from “Nancy” and “Barbara” leads to the Boibs breastfeeding brand and the Pjs All Day clothing line.
Clery receives three vivid dreams indicating she is carrying a boy; the gender reveal happens at her sister’s farmhouse with nieces dancing in blue dresses.
The phone call revealing Penelope is a girl triggers a panic that her daughter might repeat Clery’s past mistakes, followed by a determined commitment to protect her.
Clery recalls her father’s cruel remark after a Japanese restaurant dinner, where he dismisses her sentimental comment about his purpose being to have her.

Character Development

Laura Clery: Moves from anxiety over intuitive parenting to embracing a routine. She also confronts her fear of raising a girl, transforming that fear into a resolve to create a safe, supportive home.
Marilyn (Laura’s mother): Portrayed as creative, devoted, and chaotic; she prioritizes fun and love over order, but her lack of structure leaves Clery feeling unprepared for motherhood.
Stephen (Laura’s husband): Supportive and confident during the gender reveals; he shares Clery’s parenting goals of sobriety and gentle discipline.
Laura’s father: A loving but alcoholic man whose hurtful comment about Laura’s existence highlights the emotional toll of his addiction.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Chaos versus Structure: The chapter contrasts Marilyn’s free-form household with Clery’s reliance on schedules, showing how the same upbringing can inspire opposite parenting choices.
Mom-Shaming and Online Judgment: Clery uses critical comments as creative fuel, turning them into successful businesses (Boibs, Pjs All Day) and validating other mothers.
Gender and Fear: Clery’s relief at having a boy and her anxiety about a girl reveal internalized fears about her own trauma; her vow to raise a daughter differently shows active healing.
Addiction and Generational Patterns: The chapter acknowledges the family history of alcoholism and Clery’s determination to give her children a sober home.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter moves from Clery’s past to her present as a mother, showing how she consciously breaks cycles of addiction and emotional neglect. It also demonstrates her vulnerability in admitting that parenting a girl terrifies her because of her own experiences. The online shaming narratives illustrate her knack for turning criticism into community and commerce. Overall, it’s a pivotal chapter that explains her parenting philosophy and sets the stage for her continued growth.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Clery feel that her mother’s intuitive parenting style doesn’t work for her?
Clery realizes she needs predictable routines to manage her own anxiety and to balance work and childcare. Her mother’s instinct-based approach left Clery exhausted during Alfie’s infancy, so she adopted a strict schedule from a nanny friend.

2. How does Clery’s reaction to learning Penelope is a girl differ from her reaction to Alfie’s gender?
With Alfie, Clery had three dreams that he was a boy and was overjoyed. With Penelope, she felt immediate shock and fear that her daughter would repeat Clery’s troubled past (substance abuse, assault, etc.). She then consciously shifts from fear to a determination to protect and raise her differently.

3. What role do online critics play in Clery’s life according to this chapter?
Critics like “Nancy” and “Barbara” initially upset her, but she uses their negative comments to launch product lines (Boibs, Pjs All Day) that resonate with other mothers. The criticism also strengthens her connection with her followers, who support her choices.