Colorblindness as a Symbol in I Was a Teenage Slasher

What Is the Colorblindness Literally?

In I Was a Teenage Slasher, Tolly Driver experiences a distinct shift in his color perception after being hit by a truck. This is not a loss of color, but a complete alteration: the world becomes “quieter” in hue, with “more shades” and “finer distinctions” than normal vision. Reds appear as a textured beige, blues become contrasty rather than bright, and the entire palette shifts to something both subdued and hyper-detailed. Tolly describes it as “like a different palette had been used to paint the world.” This sensory change is a direct physical symptom of his transformation into a slasher, triggered when he smeared Justin Joss’s blood into a cut and later aggravated by the accident.

Where the Motif Recurs

The colorblindness first appears during a movie night in Chapter 4: Saturday Night. While watching An Officer and a Gentleman, Tolly notices the color leaching out of the screen; adjusting the television’s hue only confirms that the change is in his eyes, not the tape. His new vision makes everyday objects strange and beautiful—a red tomato becomes “wonderful, vibrant beige,” and the rubber bands in a drawer reveal hidden fissures of unprecedented colors.

Later that same night, in his backyard, the sensation intensifies. His vision inverts to a “washed-out negative” and causes him such pain that he stumbles inside. The moment marks a physical breaking point, linking the colorblindness to the escalating slasher state.

In Chapter 6: Summer School, the motif takes on a diagnostic role. Locked in Amber’s barn, Tolly repeatedly strikes a flint against a red rag and a red‑handled screwdriver, saying “Red” aloud to confirm his ability to still see certain colors. Amber later tests him with a calendar featuring topless women on motorcycles, using the vivid reds and blues to gauge his perception. The colorblindness becomes a shared barometer of his condition.

During his killings in Chapter 7: Skinnydipping in the Moonlight, the vision shifts even further. When he hurls a pipe at Wes Stripling, the narrative notes that his “eyes zeroed in through the inch‑wide hole at its center, so I saw Wes’s pale skin there.” The colorblindness provides a predatory clarity, sharpening specific details while muting distractions. Approaching the Fireworks Camper, he sees angular cutouts around his vision “like a stop sign,” which he interprets as a last remnant of his human self urging him to stop.

How Its Meaning Changes

Initially, Tolly treats the colorblindness as a curious “superpower,” akin to the enhanced senses of comic‑book heroes. He finds it “kind of cool” and explores the new textures of ordinary objects. This wonder quickly turns to fear when the pain and inversion episodes strike. The backyard episode forces him to recognize it as a symptom that needs medical attention.

By the time Amber explains slasher rules, the colorblindness has been reframed as a hunting advantage—a tool that helps Tolly track victims by making insignificant details pop. In the killing sequences, it becomes a sign of his complete immersion in the slasher role, where his human curiosity is replaced by a single‑minded focus on death. The colorblindness thus evolves from a personal curiosity to a danger signal to an emblem of his lost humanity.

Connection to Characters

• Tolly Driver: His internal conflict hinges on the colorblindness. He oscillates between fascination and horror, and the motif externalizes the fragmentation described in the novel’s epigraph (“sometimes nothing keeps me together at the seams”). The shifts in perception mirror his moral unraveling. For more on Tolly, see the character page.

• Amber Big Plume Dennison: She serves as the tester and interpreter, immediately recognizing the colorblindness as a “thing for hunting.” Her tests (the calendar, the stopwatch, the red rag) provide the reader with a diagnostic framework. Amber’s role links to themes of friendship and loyalty, as she tries to contain and understand her best friend’s condition.

• Mel: Though not directly involved in the colorblindness scenes, Mel is identified as Tolly’s “final girl.” The colorblindness is part of the slasher kit that ultimately leads to their confrontation. See the Mel character page.

Thematic Connections

• Slasher Infection and Transformation: The colorblindness is a primary marker of Tolly’s physical change, alongside impossible speed and the ability to make knives ring. It demonstrates that the infection is altering his biology, not just his behavior. Explore more on the themes page.

• Alienation and Otherness: Seeing the world in a unique palette reinforces Tolly’s lifelong status as an outsider. He was already defined by his peanut allergy; now his very vision sets him apart from his mother, his classmates, and even Amber. The motif ties into the experience of alienation and otherness.

• Guilt and Moral Responsibility: Tolly’s awareness of his altered sight is intertwined with his guilt over murders he cannot fully control. The stop‑sign cutouts he perceives when approaching the Fireworks Camper suggest a fragmented conscience trying to stop the violence—a visual representation of his guilt and moral responsibility.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Tolly first discover his colorblindness, and what is his immediate reaction?
   Answer: While watching An Officer and a Gentleman with his mother, Tolly notices the color fading from the screen. He tries adjusting the television’s hue and realizes the change is in his own vision. His reaction is a mix of fascination—calling it “kind of cool”—and a determination to guard it, delaying calling the doctor. This ambivalence sets the stage for his internal conflict.

2. In what ways does Amber test Tolly’s colorblindness, and what does she believe it signifies?
   Answer: Amber tests Tolly by having him identify a red screwdriver in dim light and by showing him a secret calendar of topless women on motorcycles, asking about the colors. She believes the colorblindness is not a symptom but a hunting advantage, part of the slasher “package.” She uses it as a diagnostic tool to confirm how far his transformation has progressed.

3. How does the colorblindness change during Tolly’s killing of Wes Stripling?
   Answer: When Tolly javelins a pipe at Wes, his vision narrows and sharpens: he sees through the pipe’s center hole to Wes’s pale skin, isolating the target with predatory precision. The colorblindness becomes a weaponized sensory filter, eliminating extraneous information and focusing on the kill.

4. What might the “stop sign” cutouts Tolly sees when approaching the Fireworks Camper represent?
   Answer: The angular, stop‑sign‑shaped cutouts in Tolly’s vision likely represent the last remnant of his human conscience trying to halt his violent actions. He interprets them that way himself, thinking they might be “the last remnant of ‘Tolly Driver’ whispering for this to please stop.” This visual motif literally embodies his struggle against the slasher drive.

For a deeper understanding of the novel’s structure and characters, return to the main book page.