Chapter Seventeen Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

It is early October, and Grace has settled into a new routine in Southbury. She attends weekly therapy sessions with Heather, sees a psychiatrist, and takes two small pills every morning. Though she isn’t sure if the medication is working yet, she takes it dutifully, wondering if this is how Agnes felt when Grace and Ximena watched over her. Heather suggests that getting a routine back might help orient her, and Grace takes the advice by working at a fresh market four mornings a week. The physical labor—heavy lifting and haggling—distracts her, and she comes home stained with orange juice, splitting her earnings between her mother, Kelly, and Yosvani, a grove worker who helps her carry crates.

One afternoon, Mom tosses Grace’s phone onto her bed and tells her that Colonel and Sharone have been trying to reach her. Grace, who turned her phone off after a group text over a month ago, is reluctant to call back. She confesses to Mom that she is afraid of disappointing Colonel, that she has ripped the plan to shreds. Mom reassures her that there is nothing to forgive and that Grace just needs to be their kid, not perfect. After a minute of hesitation, Grace dials.

Sharone answers first, scolding Grace for going silent and for making Mel give them updates. Then Colonel gets on the line. Grace, determined not to lie after weeks of wading through insecurities, confesses that there was never a summer research project in New York. Colonel is quiet, then asks her to explain herself. Grace snaps back, telling him she didn’t quit, that she wanted to make him proud and he still isn’t. Colonel reveals that he walked out of her graduation not because he was disappointed in her, but because he was angry and helpless: he saw the other parents schmoozing with faculty, and he knew he couldn’t help Grace as a Black woman in her field. Grace is furious that he never said this, and she tells him she can’t have the conversation right now. She accidentally mentions Heather, and when Colonel asks who she is, Grace reveals her diagnosis of major depressive disorder and anxiety. Colonel is quiet, then says he wanted her to follow her plan because she worked so hard for it. Grace tells him she wishes he felt bad, and she admits she needs a break from what Porters do. Before hanging up, Colonel asks her to call soon, and he calls her Grace.

In a later session, Grace tells Heather how hard it is to let go of wanting to please her father. Heather suggests it might be time to think about what Grace wants, outside of her parents’ expectations. Grace, tearing paper into pieces as a coping mechanism, recites Heather’s framework: holding it up to the light, breaking it down, making something new. Heather gives her the name of an African braid shop, and Grace remembers Dhorian’s gentle hands.

Kelly picks Grace up from therapy. In the driveway, over milkshakes, he asks her to officiate his wedding to Mom. Grace is stunned, but Kelly explains he can get her ordained online and it’s just paperwork. He tells her Mom talks about her all the time and is proud of her. Grace, thinking of her own wedding to Yuki and the key and ring she still wears, agrees. When they tell Mom, she cries and hugs Grace, thanking her and saying she is proud of her. Grace presses close to her mother, telling her they are both here together.

That evening, Grace sits on her bed with her phone, which has been off since August. She turns it on, ignores the notifications, and texts her Portland friends: “i’m here now / are you there?” The messages come through filled with comfort and outrage and love, and Grace presses her phone to her chest and laughs.

Key Events

Grace starts working at a fresh market four mornings a week as part of her new routine.
Mom tells Grace that Colonel and Sharone have been trying to reach her.
Grace calls Colonel and confesses that she lied about the summer research project in New York.
Colonel explains he left her graduation because he felt unable to help her as a Black woman in her field, not because he was disappointed.
Grace reveals her diagnosis of major depressive disorder and anxiety to Colonel.
Colonel asks Grace to call soon and calls her by her given name for the first time in years.
In therapy, Heather encourages Grace to define her own wants outside of her parents’ expectations.
Kelly asks Grace to officiate his wedding to Mom, and Grace agrees.
Mom expresses gratitude and pride when Grace says yes.
Grace turns on her phone and texts her Portland friends, reconnecting after months of silence.

Character Development

Grace: This chapter marks a turning point in Grace’s healing. She moves from avoidance (turning off her phone, hiding from Colonel) to active engagement with her mental health and her relationships. She takes her medication, attends therapy, and works a job that grounds her. Her confession to Colonel is a major act of honesty, and she holds her ground when he challenges her. She also begins to separate her own wants from her parents’ expectations, telling Colonel she needs a break from what Porters do. Her decision to officiate Mom’s wedding shows her willingness to be part of something good and easy, rather than feeling left behind.
Colonel: Colonel is revealed to be more vulnerable than Grace has ever seen him. He admits he walked out of her graduation because he was angry and helpless, not disappointed. He stutters, which Grace notes he never does, and he calls her Grace instead of Porter. He asks her to call soon, showing a willingness to meet her where she is.
Mom: Mom offers Grace reassurance and unconditional support. She tells Grace there is nothing to forgive and that she is proud of her. When Grace agrees to officiate the wedding, Mom cries and thanks her, acknowledging she hasn’t been around as much as she should have.
Kelly: Kelly shows his good heart by asking Grace to officiate the wedding. He is gentle, giving her an out if she’s not comfortable, and he tells her how much Mom talks about her.
Heather: Heather continues to guide Grace toward self-discovery. She encourages Grace to define her own wants and gives her practical resources, like the braid shop, showing she cares about Grace’s whole self.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Mental health treatment: Grace’s weekly therapy, daily medication, and new coping mechanisms (tearing paper instead of pulling at her skin) are central to this chapter. Heather’s framework of “holding it up to the light, breaking it down, making something new” becomes a guiding metaphor for Grace’s healing.
Parental expectations: Grace’s fear of disappointing Colonel drives much of the chapter. Colonel’s confession reframes his expectations as rooted in love and helplessness, but Grace still struggles to let go of wanting to please him.
Honesty and confession: Grace’s confession about the lie is a pivotal moment. She decides she has not spent weeks wading through insecurities just to tell a lie, and she tells Colonel the truth about her diagnosis as well.
Self-discovery: Heather pushes Grace to think about what she wants as Grace Porter, outside of her parents’ expectations. Grace begins to articulate this, even if she doesn’t have all the answers yet.
Routine as healing: Heather suggests that getting a routine back will help orient Grace, and the market job, therapy sessions, and Kelly picking her up all become part of that routine.
The stars: Kelly put up plastic stars in Grace’s room that glow blue instead of green. They are still Grace’s stars, in Grace’s room, and they tell her to be brave.
The key and ring: Grace reaches for the chain and key around her neck and the gold band on her finger when Kelly asks her to officiate the wedding. They connect her to Yuki and her own love story, which she couldn’t make fit in her plan.
Being present: Grace tells Mom, “You’re here right now. We’re both here, together, right now.” This moment of presence contrasts with her earlier avoidance and running.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is a major turning point in Grace’s arc. It resolves the long-standing tension with Colonel, not by erasing the hurt but by reframing it. Colonel’s confession that he left her graduation because he felt helpless, not disappointed, allows Grace to see his love more clearly, even as she holds onto her anger. Her decision to reveal her diagnosis to him is an act of vulnerability that she has been avoiding, and it opens the door for a new kind of relationship with her father.

The chapter also moves Grace from isolation to connection. She agrees to officiate Mom’s wedding, which makes her a part of something good and easy rather than feeling left behind. And she finally turns on her phone and texts her Portland friends, reconnecting with the people who have become her family. This is the first step toward rebuilding the relationships she cut off when she went silent.

Finally, the chapter deepens the theme of self-discovery. Heather’s question—what do you want, as Grace Porter, outside of your parents’ expectations—becomes the central question Grace must answer. She doesn’t have the answer yet, but she is beginning to hold her life up to the light and break it down, making something new that is just her.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Colonel walk out of Grace’s graduation, and how does his explanation change Grace’s understanding of him?

Colonel walks out because he is angry and helpless. He sees the other parents schmoozing with faculty and knows he cannot help Grace as a Black woman in her field. He is not disappointed in her; he is angry at the system and at his own inability to give her the same resources. This reframes his behavior for Grace, who had assumed his absence meant disappointment. It also reveals his vulnerability, as he stutters and calls her Grace for the first time in years.

What does Heather mean when she tells Grace it might be time to think about what she wants, outside of her parents’ expectations?

Heather is pushing Grace to separate her own desires from the expectations she has internalized from her parents, especially Colonel. Grace has spent her life trying to meet his unattainable standards, and Heather is asking her to consider what Grace wants for herself. This is a crucial step in Grace’s healing, as she begins to articulate that she needs a break from what Porters do and wants to figure out what she is going to do.

How does Grace’s decision to officiate Mom’s wedding reflect her growth in this chapter?

Grace’s decision to officiate the wedding shows her willingness to be part of something good and easy, rather than feeling left behind. She thinks of her own wedding to Yuki and the key and ring she still wears, but she chooses to bear witness to Mom’s love story. It is an act of connection and presence, and it allows her to share in Mom’s joy rather than isolate herself.

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