“What Will I Do Now?” Chapter 44 Summary and Analysis
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
In Chapter 44, “What Will I Do Now?”, Hekate confronts the immediate aftermath of her mother’s death. She pleads with Styx, the dread river, for answers—answers that Hekate herself knows Styx cannot give. The plea is not rational; it is the raw, desperate grasping of a child who has lost her only parent. Hekate describes her grief as a cruel, selfish thing that has turned her into a wound, a motherless thing, a child grieving without even understanding what grief is.
Styx does not respond with words. Instead, she holds Hekate in her cold arms, her wet hair pressed against the child’s body. Hekate is so numb that she cannot even feel the cold. Styx remains silent, allowing Hekate to sob, uncertain how to comfort a child who has lost the only parent she has ever known. The two sit together for hours, the dread river—feared even by the Gods—tenderly consoling a grieving child.
When Hekate’s tears finally stop from exhaustion, Styx speaks. She tells Hekate that she promised Hekate’s mother she would keep Hekate safe. This promise, revealed at the chapter’s end, reframes Styx’s presence and silence as an act of devotion, not mere coincidence.
Key Events
-
Hekate begs Styx for answers, knowing deep down that Styx cannot provide them.
-
Hekate reflects on her grief as a wound that consumes her identity.
-
Styx holds Hekate in her cold arms, but Hekate is too numb to feel the cold.
-
Styx remains silent, letting Hekate cry without trying to fix or interrupt the grief.
-
The two sit together for hours, with Styx acting as a tender comforter despite her fearsome nature.
-
Hekate’s tears stop only from exhaustion.
-
Styx finally speaks, revealing her promise to Hekate’s mother to keep Hekate safe.
Character Development
Hekate is defined by her grief in this chapter. She sees herself not as a person but as a wound—a motherless thing. Her plea for answers shows her desperation and her inability to process loss. The numbness she feels, even to Styx’s cold touch, underscores how overwhelming her sorrow is. Yet her exhaustion and eventual stillness suggest a turning point: she is no longer actively fighting the grief but is beginning to exist within it.
Styx emerges as an unexpected maternal figure. Though she is a dread river that even the Gods fear, she shows tenderness and patience. She does not offer false comfort or empty words; she simply holds Hekate and waits. Her final revelation—that she promised Hekate’s mother she would keep Hekate safe—reveals a deeper bond and a sense of duty that explains her presence. Styx’s silence is not coldness but a form of respect for Hekate’s pain.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
-
Grief as a wound: Hekate explicitly describes herself as a wound, suggesting that grief has become her entire identity, obscuring everything else.
-
Loss of mother: The chapter centers on the absence of Hekate’s mother and the void it creates. Hekate’s repeated reference to being “motherless” emphasizes the depth of the loss.
-
Numbness: Hekate’s inability to feel the cold of Styx’s arms symbolizes the emotional paralysis that accompanies profound grief.
-
Comfort from an unlikely source: Styx, a river associated with oaths and dread, becomes a gentle comforter, subverting expectations.
-
Promise and protection: Styx’s promise to Hekate’s mother introduces a motif of sacred obligation, suggesting that Hekate is now under Styx’s guardianship.
-
Grief’s selfishness: Hekate notes that grief is a cruel, selfish thing, wounding the carrier so deeply that others see only the wound. This reflects how grief can isolate a person.
-
Exhaustion after weeping: The chapter ends with Hekate’s tears stopping from exhaustion, implying that grief has a physical toll and that stillness may be the first step toward healing.
Why This Chapter Matters
This chapter is a pivotal emotional moment in Hekate - The Witch. It deepens Hekate’s character by showing her vulnerability and the raw pain of losing her mother. It also establishes Styx as a key figure in Hekate’s life, transforming her from a distant, fearsome entity into a protector bound by a promise. The revelation of the promise adds a layer of purpose to Styx’s actions and sets up a foundation for future events, as Hekate now has a guardian who is committed to her safety. The chapter also explores the nature of grief itself—how it can consume a person, make them numb, and yet eventually lead to a quiet moment of acceptance. By ending with Styx’s words, the chapter offers a glimmer of hope amid the sorrow, suggesting that Hekate is not alone.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Hekate ask Styx for answers she knows Styx cannot give?
Hekate’s plea is driven by grief, not logic. She is desperate for any explanation or relief from her pain, even if she knows it is impossible. The question “What will I do now?” reflects her fear of a future without her mother. Her request is a cry for help, not a rational inquiry.
2. How does Styx’s silence function as a form of comfort?
Styx’s silence allows Hekate to express her grief without interruption or judgment. By simply holding Hekate and letting her sob, Styx acknowledges the depth of the loss without trying to minimize it. This patience creates a safe space for Hekate to exhaust her tears, which is a necessary step in processing grief.
3. What does Styx’s promise to Hekate’s mother reveal about her character and her relationship to Hekate?
Styx’s promise reveals that she had a prior bond with Hekate’s mother and that she takes her obligations seriously. It shows that Styx is not merely a passive observer but an active protector. The promise also explains why Styx is present and willing to comfort Hekate, establishing a maternal or guardian-like role for Styx in Hekate’s life.
Navigation
-
Previous chapter