Xabi Character Analysis in Greta & Valdin
Overview of Xabi in Greta & Valdin
Xabier—called Xabi throughout the novel—is introduced in the opening Characters chapter as the brother of Giuseppe Alonso (Gep), who is married to the siblings' uncle Anthon (Thony). He is Valdin's Spanish ex-boyfriend, an artist who left New Zealand for Argentina after Valdin's nervous breakdown. Over the course of the novel, Xabi moves from a remembered absence to a central presence: Valdin reconnects with him in Argentina, meets the eight-year-old Colombian boy Ernesto (Nes) whom Xabi is adopting, and ultimately proposes marriage and co-adoption. Xabi's arc connects several of the novel's major themes, including family secrets and hidden histories, cultural identity and belonging, and queer love and commitment.
Plot Role
Xabi functions as both a memory and a destination. For much of the first half of the novel, he exists in Valdin's recollections—the ex-boyfriend who might have sent a misdelivered package, the man Valdin first met at a restaurant three years before the novel's present. When Valdin's work takes him to Argentina, Xabi becomes physically present, and the novel's second half is shaped by Valdin's attempts to reconcile his love for Xabi with Xabi's new life as a prospective adoptive father.
Motivations and Traits
Xabi's actions reveal several consistent motivations:
Commitment to family. Xabi's decision to adopt Ernesto is the clearest expression of this. He has been financially supporting the boy for a year before the novel's events, paying for his school while the adoption paperwork was being sorted. He conceals the adoption from his brother Gep, explaining that he feared Gep would tell him it was a bad idea, and acknowledging that he had been unkind to Gep when Gep announced he was becoming a parent. This suggests both Xabi's fear of family judgment and his awareness of his own past failings.
Self-sufficiency and solitude. Xabi built his own house in Argentina, planted an orchard, and makes his own furniture. He lives alone in a remote glass-and-wood house. When gardeners suggest he needs a woman looking after him, he replies simply, No quiero. His solitude is partly chosen—he moved to Argentina after Valdin's breakdown—but it also reads as a form of retreat from the complications of his previous life.
Emotional honesty. When Valdin asks directly whether Xabi is in love with him, Xabi answers yes without hesitation. He keeps Valdin's book, remembers his preferences (lilacs, his aversion to beards, the Sāmoan phrase 'Ai), and has bought Valdin's favourite flowers and gotten a haircut before his arrival. These details suggest that Xabi's feelings for Valdin never faded, even after years of separation.
Guardedness. Xabi is described as being very good at pretending not to be sad. He conceals the adoption from Gep, and he tries to tell Valdin something during their night together, only to be stopped. His tendency to hide significant parts of his life echoes the novel's broader exploration of communication and emotional vulnerability.
Chronological Arc
Xabi's arc can be traced through the novel's timeline:
Before the novel. Born in a small town in Catalonia, Xabi moved to New Zealand at eighteen. He studied painting at university and drove around Auckland in a ute. He met Valdin at a restaurant three years before the novel's present, when Valdin was speaking in public for the first time. They lived together until Valdin's nervous breakdown, after which Xabi moved to Argentina. He later returned to Spain, then settled in Argentina, where he built a house and began the adoption process for Ernesto.
Early novel. Xabi exists only in memory. Valdin worries a misdelivered package might be from him, and later declines Thony's offer to retrieve a book from Xabi in Argentina.
Mid-novel. Valdin learns his work will take him to Buenos Aires. After Greta encourages him, he calls Xabi, who answers in Spanish and offers to drive into the city to meet him. They agree to meet on the eleventh.
The reunion. Xabi picks Valdin up on a roadside in Argentina and drives him to his remote house. They watch a movie, Valdin falls asleep, and that night asks Xabi if he is in love with him. Xabi says yes, and they become intimate. Xabi tries to tell Valdin something, but Valdin stops him.
The adoption. In the desert, Valdin learns Xabi is pursuing adoption of an eight-year-old boy. Xabi invites Valdin to join him in Medellín, where he has a meeting at the boy's school. There, Valdin meets Ernesto after a football accident causes a nosebleed. Xabi introduces them, noting this wasn't how he pictured the introduction.
The paperwork. In Medellín, Xabi collects the adoption documents, confirming the adoption is official. He shows the papers to Ernesto, who examines each page.
The proposal. Back in New Zealand, Valdin plans to propose marriage to Xabi and to adopt Nes. When Xabi arrives for a visit, Valdin confesses that meeting Xabi changed his life, declares his love, and proposes marriage and co-adoption. Xabi accepts, saying he had carried Valdin's book for months and wanted the same.
Relationships
With Valdin. The central relationship of Xabi's arc. They lived together until Valdin's breakdown, after which Xabi moved away. Their reunion is marked by mutual tenderness—Xabi remembers Valdin's preferences, keeps his book, and has prepared for his visit. Xabi's adoption of Ernesto complicates their relationship, as Valdin initially doubts he can fit into Xabi's new life. The novel's resolution—Valdin's proposal to marry Xabi and adopt Nes—suggests that Xabi's commitment to both Valdin and Ernesto becomes the foundation of a new family structure.
With Ernesto (Nes). Xabi has been supporting Ernesto financially for a year, paying for his school. He is nervous about meeting him at the school, worried the boy might hate him. The adoption becomes official during the novel, and Xabi presents the documents to Ernesto, who examines each page. Xabi's care for Ernesto is evident in his exhaustion after a late-night call from Gep about the adoption, and in his decision to leave Ernesto with Valdin while he collects the paperwork.
With Gep. Xabi's brother. They are not very good at being in the same place. Gep is angry that Xabi concealed his adoption plans, and Xabi admits he was unkind to Gep when Gep announced he was becoming a parent. This sibling tension echoes the novel's broader exploration of sibling bonds and family support.
With Thony. Xabi's brother-in-law. Thony offers to retrieve a book from Xabi for Valdin, suggesting ongoing contact between them.
Key Decisions and Consequences
Moving to Argentina after Valdin's breakdown. This decision shapes the novel's geography. It creates the separation that the novel's second half works to overcome, and it establishes Xabi's pattern of retreating from difficult situations.
Beginning the adoption of Ernesto. This is Xabi's most consequential decision. It creates the complication in his reunion with Valdin, but also the structure for their future family. Valdin's proposal includes adopting Nes, suggesting the adoption becomes the foundation of their shared life.
Concealing the adoption from Gep. This causes conflict with his brother, who is angry about being kept in the dark. It also demonstrates Xabi's tendency toward secrecy, which the novel connects to broader themes of hidden histories.
Accepting Valdin's proposal. Xabi accepts, saying he had wanted the same. This decision unites his two commitments—to Valdin and to Ernesto—and resolves the novel's central romantic thread.
Theme/Symbol Connections
Family secrets and hidden histories. Xabi's concealment of the adoption from Gep echoes the novel's broader theme of family secrets. His decision to adopt alone, without telling his brother, mirrors the way other characters in the novel keep significant parts of their lives hidden. The family secrets and hidden histories theme page explores this pattern in more depth.
Cultural identity and belonging. Xabi moves between Catalonia, New Zealand, Spain, and Argentina. He is described as having an interesting accent and adapting his Spanish to fit in. His house in Argentina—built by his own hands—represents an attempt to create belonging in a new place. This connects to the novel's exploration of cultural identity and belonging.
Queer love and commitment. Xabi's relationship with Valdin, and their eventual marriage and co-adoption of Nes, is a central expression of the novel's treatment of queer family formation. The queer love and commitment theme page examines this further.
Communication and emotional vulnerability. Xabi is very good at pretending not to be sad. His guardedness contrasts with Valdin's eventual confession of love. The novel repeatedly shows the cost of not communicating—Xabi's concealment from Gep, Valdin's failure to tell Greta about his plans. See the communication and emotional vulnerability theme page for more.
Book-Specific Questions
1. Why did Xabi move to Argentina?
Xabi moved to Argentina after Valdin's nervous breakdown. Valdin tells Emma that they used to live together and he thought they would be together until one of them died, but after his breakdown, Xabi moved to a large empty plot of land in Argentina. Xabi built a house there himself and planted an orchard.
2. What is Xabi's relationship to Ernesto (Nes)?
Xabi is in the process of adopting Ernesto, an eight-year-old Colombian boy. He has been financially supporting Ernesto for a year, paying for his school. The adoption becomes official during the novel, when Xabi collects the completed paperwork in Medellín.
3. Why didn't Xabi tell Gep about the adoption?
Xabi explains that he thought Gep might tell him it was a bad idea, and he acknowledges that he was unkind to Gep when Gep announced he was becoming a parent. He feared his brother's judgment, partly because of his own past behavior.
4. How does Xabi respond when Valdin asks if he is in love with him?
Xabi answers yes directly. He had kept Valdin's book, remembered his preferences, and prepared for his visit with fresh flowers and a haircut.
5. What does Xabi want from Valdin by the end of the novel?
Xabi accepts Valdin's marriage proposal and his offer to adopt Nes. He says he had carried Valdin's book for months and wanted the same thing. The novel ends with their wedding, suggesting Xabi's desire for a shared family with Valdin and Ernesto. For more on how the story concludes, see the ending explained page, or browse questions and answers for further discussion.