Chapter 23: Grow Bread Grow – Lily Confronts Fear and Finds New Strength
⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.
Summary
Sharkie sleeps for two days and three nights after her arrival in Paradise; Lily attributes it to soul exhaustion and keeps busy with stress cleaning and baking. While scrubbing floors with a toothbrush, Lily tries to remove a persistent picture from the wall but fails, symbolizing unresolved emotional pain. As she makes bread and cinnamon rolls, she reflects on her childhood in an evangelical community that rejected her for questioning doctrine and for being a sexual assault survivor. She realizes she has spent her life afraid of falling from pedestals and decides she no longer wants to live in fear.
Sharkie wakes up and bonds with Lily during the bread-making, learning the “grow bread grow” ritual from Lily’s mother. Over the following days, Lily takes Sharkie on small adventures: first to the village, then to the Universal Hallway where Sharkie plays tag with wisps and draws a crowd, and later to Valhalla. In Valhalla, Sharkie practices combat basics with warriors, and Lily meets Odin, who calls her a true warrior and welcomes her to his hall. Throughout, Lily misses Bel and wishes he could teach her to fight.
Key Events
- Sharkie wakes after two days of sleep; Lily has been stress cleaning and baking.
- Lily tries and fails to remove a picture from the wall, recognizing it as a symbol of unresolved pain.
- Lily reflects on being shunned by her evangelical community for questioning faith and after her assault.
- Lily teaches Sharkie the “grow bread grow” bread ritual from her own childhood.
- Lily and Sharkie explore the village and then the Universal Hallway, where Sharkie initiates a game of tag with wisps that expands to dozens of souls.
- They visit Valhalla; Sharkie learns basic combat from warriors, including Ivan.
- Odin speaks with Lily, praising her warrior spirit and offering a place in Valhalla.
- Sharkie bites a warrior’s ear during a practice hold and is celebrated; she signals thumbs-up to Lily.
- Lily continues to miss Bel and think about his potential role in her life.
Character Development
Lily – This chapter marks a turning point in Lily’s emotional arc. She consciously recognizes that her fear of being “too much” stems from her church’s rejection and past trauma. Her decision to stop being afraid (“I don’t want to be afraid anymore”) signals growth. She also demonstrates patience and care in helping Sharkie adjust, using hand signals and letting Sharkie set the pace.
Sharkie – Sharkie shows remarkable recovery over the course of the chapter. Initially hesitant and clinging to Lily, she gradually becomes curious, playful, and confident. Her participation in tag and her boldness in Valhalla (biting the warrior) illustrate growing trust and courage. She learns to use hand signals to communicate her needs.
Odin – The Allfather appears briefly but leaves a strong impression. He validates Lily’s struggles as worthy of Valhalla, acknowledging that battles like illness are noble. This external validation reinforces Lily’s internal shift.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Emotional suppression and release – Lily’s stress cleaning and baking are outlets for anxiety she cannot voice. The picture that refuses to come down symbolizes how some emotional wounds cannot be simply hidden; they must be processed.
Bread as nurturing and heritage – The “grow bread grow” ritual passes from Lily’s mother to Lily to Sharkie, representing continuity of care and love. Baking becomes an act of healing and connection.
Found family and safety – Lily creates a safe environment for Sharkie, and the Paradise house itself collaborates (e.g., providing popcorn). Valhalla warriors embrace Sharkie, expanding her circle of trust.
Overcoming fear of falling from pedestals – Lily’s central realization is that she has been afraid of rejection since her fall from grace in the church. By deciding not to be afraid anymore, she reclaims her agency.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 23 deepens Lily’s interior journey while advancing Sharkie’s integration into the Afterlife. The parallel arcs—Lily learning to let go of fear and Sharkie learning to trust—reinforce the novel’s themes of healing and belonging. The introduction of Odin and Valhalla expands the world and offers Lily external validation. The chapter also highlights Lily’s growing feelings for Bel, setting up future relationship development. The bread ritual and the stubborn picture become powerful symbols that will likely resonate in later chapters.
Study Questions and Answers
1. Why does Lily stress clean and try to remove the picture? What does the picture represent?
Lily stress cleans because she is anxious about Bel’s patrol and her own unresolved emotions. The picture, which she cannot remove no matter how hard she tries, represents a painful memory or aspect of her past that she cannot simply erase or hide. It symbolizes the religious trauma and rejection she still carries.
2. How does the “grow bread grow” ritual connect Lily’s past to her present relationship with Sharkie?
The ritual comes from Lily’s childhood with her mother, a positive memory amid a painful upbringing. By teaching it to Sharkie, Lily passes on a piece of nurturing family tradition, creating a new bond based on care and trust. It shows Lily reclaiming her heritage and choosing to create happy rituals with her found family.
3. What does Odin’s conversation with Lily reveal about her character and her journey?
Odin calls Lily a warrior, not because she fought in battle, but because she fought cancer and other internal battles. This external recognition helps Lily see her own strength. It reinforces her decision to stop being afraid and shows that her struggles are valid and honored by powerful beings in the Afterlife.