Chapter Twelve: Still March – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Santiago is named Slimmer of the Week at his Begin Again, Slim Again weight‑loss group. He receives a call from Frank, who tells him that Cleo has harmed herself deliberately, requiring thirty stitches and a seventy‑two‑hour hold in a psychiatric unit. Santiago visits Cleo at NYU hospital, bringing arroz con leche, but the ward forbids outside food. He finds Cleo withdrawn and pale; she asks him not to tell anyone and later says she wants her mother. Santiago reads to her as she falls asleep.

He then flies to Los Angeles to work on a pop‑up restaurant and stays with Anders. At Anders’s house, he meets several models, including Yaayaa. During a hike, Santiago confronts Anders about his relationship with Cleo. Anders admits he loves her and breaks down. After finding Anders’s lost puppy, they reconcile. Before his return flight, Santiago visits the airport chapel and prays for his grandmother, parents, Cleo, Frank, Anders, Lila, and for the courage to talk to Dominique.

Key Events

Santiago wins Slimmer of the Week, losing fifteen pounds through a weight‑loss program.
Frank calls Santiago to report that Cleo has harmed herself and is in the psychiatric ward of NYU hospital.
Santiago visits Cleo; she is fragile, asks him to keep the incident secret, and tells him she wants her mother.
Santiago flies to LA and stays with Anders, meeting Yaayaa and other models at Anders’s house.
On a hike, Santiago confronts Anders about his feelings for Cleo; Anders confesses he loves her.
While chasing Anders’s lost puppy, Santiago falls and hurts his knee but finds the dog.
After reconciliation, Santiago visits LAX’s airport chapel and prays for several people, including himself.

Character Development

Santiago: His weight‑loss journey reflects a desire for inner change, not just physical transformation. Visiting Cleo and later confronting Anders show him stepping beyond his usual role as a supportive, passive friend. He risks honesty with Anders and finally admits his own fear and need for love. His prayer at the chapel indicates a renewed spiritual and emotional openness.

Cleo: Although seen briefly, her hospital appearance – pale, exhausted, and ashamed – reveals the depth of her despair. She is caught between wanting help and fearing judgment. Her whisper “I want my mum” exposes a vulnerable, childlike need for comfort.

Anders: His confession of love for Cleo and his breakdown demonstrate a more fragile side previously hidden by his confident, charismatic persona. His plea to Santiago for advice and his admission that no one really loves him show loneliness beneath the glamour.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Hunger and Feeding the Heart: The weight‑loss group leader Dominique explains the difference between feeding the stomach and feeding the heart. Santiago’s urge to binge when stressed contrasts with his growing awareness of emotional needs. The arroz con leche he cooks for Cleo symbolizes nurture and memory of his grandmother’s care.

Self‑Harm and Secrecy: Cleo’s deliberate self‑injury and Frank’s request to keep it quiet highlight shame and the struggle to ask for help. The psychiatric ward’s rules – no outside food, all possessions locked away – emphasize the clinical, isolating nature of mental‑health treatment.

Friendship and Betrayal: Santiago and Anders’s friendship is tested by both Cleo’s crisis and Anders’s affair. Their reconciliation shows that honest confrontation can strengthen bonds.

Spiritual Practice: Santiago’s return to Catholic prayer after years away suggests a search for grounding and hope. He asks for mercy, protection, and the strength to bear his “hungry heart”.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter deepens central relationships and pushes Santiago to the forefront as a more active, emotional character. It provides backstory on his previous marriage to Lila and his long‑term friendship with Anders, grounding his present struggles in past loss. Cleo’s suicide attempt is a turning point for the novel’s emotional stakes, forcing other characters to confront their own vulnerabilities. The chapter also introduces the theme of recovery and self‑acceptance through Santiago’s weight‑loss group and his final moment of prayer.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does Santiago decide to visit Cleo in the hospital, and what does his behavior reveal about his character? He goes because Frank asks him to stay with Cleo, demonstrating loyalty and a protective instinct. His willingness to sit with her, read to her, and later keep her secret shows that he values emotional connection over personal convenience.
How does Anders’s admission of love for Cleo affect his friendship with Santiago? Initially it creates tension and anger, as Santiago accuses Anders of betraying Frank. But after Anders breaks down and they find Thor together, the confrontation leads to a deeper honesty. Santiago acknowledges that he loves Anders despite his flaws, reinforcing their bond.
What is the significance of the airport chapel scene at the end of the chapter? Santiago’s visit to the chapel represents a return to spiritual practice and a moment of vulnerability. His prayers – for others and finally for himself – show that he is learning to feed his own “hungry heart”. It marks his commitment to change and hope for love.