Chapter 20: Chapter II – Summary & Analysis
Spoiler Notice
This page contains major spoilers for Chapter 20 of Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil. Read on only if you have finished this chapter.
Summary (Complete & Chronological)
Alice leaves the party feeling severely ill, leaning on a man named Colin who is helping her back. She struggles to stay upright and her thoughts blur; Colin’s small talk passes in a haze. He steadies her each time she stumbles, but his grip tightens as they move. When Alice tries to disentangle herself, he pulls her closer, his arm around her waist. She thinks about telling him she is gay but dismisses it because he’s just being nice. Pausing against a brick wall, she says she needs to lie down, but Colin positions himself between her and the world. Pinned against a tree, she feels his hands groping and his mouth on hers. She bites his lip hard, tasting blood.
Immediately the night seems to tear in two. When the darkness clears, Alice is standing fully clothed in a shower stall, water streaming over her. Pink ribbons swirl around the drain. She tastes iron and knows the blood is not hers. No time has passed that she can recall. Shedding her wet clothes, she scrubs herself raw. She notices her earlier headache has vanished and she no longer shivers in the cold water. Wrapped in a stolen towel, she stares at her reflection. She looks strangely fine, which unsettles her, and then the tears come—but they are blood. Swiping at her face leaves red smears on the towel.
A jagged flash of memory surfaces: the two of them on the ground, Colin begging her to stop, his throat open and sweater soaked dark. The vision fades. Alice splashes water on her face at the sink, then notices her breath doesn’t fog the mirror. She realizes she is not breathing. Holding her breath causes no discomfort; she cannot find a pulse. The stillness in her chest screams dead. She flees to her room, locking the door. Standing naked before a mirror, she examines her body for marks. Nothing unusual remains except a thin gold chain. She tests by cutting her thumb with a razor: the blood is sluggish and dark. She feels no pain, but when she instinctively puts the wound in her mouth, her teeth bite down viciously, leaving a deep gouge. The wound then heals in moments, skin knitting together. She glimpses her teeth retreating and backs away. Refusing to name what she is becoming, Alice treats it as a logic problem. She thinks back to last night: she came home with a girl. The purple Post-it reads, “Goodbye, Alice. xo Lottie.” She opens her laptop and begins searching the school directory for Lottie.
Key Events
- Alice leaves the party ill, assisted by Colin, who seems friendly at first.
- Colin ignores her attempts to separate and forces himself on her against a tree.
- She bites his lip; reality fractures and she wakes in a shower, missing the assault’s outcome.
- Flash of memory reveals Colin on the ground, throat torn open, and Alice as the aggressor.
- Alice discovers she is not breathing, has no heartbeat, and produces bloody tears.
- A razor cut heals instantly, confirming she is changed in ways she cannot explain.
- She refuses to use the word for her condition and begins tracking down Lottie.
Character Development
Alice Moore transforms from a disoriented victim into something physically unrecognisable. Throughout the chapter her analytical mind tries to impose order on impossible events. Even as evidence mounts—no breath, no pulse, instant healing—she frames it as a logic puzzle with a solution. Her refusal to name what she is preserves a fragile hold on sanity, but the violent memory of killing Colin and the predatory reaction of her own teeth reveal a dangerous new nature. The search for Lottie shows that Alice, despite the horror, is still grasping for connection and answers.
Colin appears briefly as the man who escorts Alice home. His “nice” demeanour twists into entitlement and assault. His death, shown in memory, acts as the catalyst for Alice’s full awakening to her altered state.
Lottie remains off-page but is central to Alice’s next move. The goodbye note suggests Lottie was intimate with Alice the previous night and may be connected to the transformation.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
Loss of Self and Bodily Autonomy – The chapter sharply pairs two violations: Colin’s physical assault and Alice’s loss of her own body. The control he tries to exert is violently reversed when Alice kills him, but she emerges from that act no longer in command of her own biology.
Refusal to Name the Supernatural – Alice adamantly avoids the obvious word, convinced that speaking it would shatter her sanity. This motif of denial underscores the tension between what her intellect knows and what her instincts fear.
Mirrors and Self-Examination – Repeated encounters with mirrors (fogless glass, blood tears, the full-length mirror) force Alice to confront her changed state. They serve as thresholds between her human past and undead present.
Blood – Blood appears as evidence (pink water, dark bead from a cut, Colin’s torn throat) and as a marker of transformation. Her body now produces and reacts to blood in ways that defy normal human function.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 20 is the hinge on which Alice’s entire arc turns. The story moves from a strange illness and fragmented memories to an undeniable supernatural metamorphosis. The brutal assault and subsequent killing of Colin supply the visceral trigger for Alice’s new abilities, while the quiet moments in the bathroom and dorm room ground her horror in painful self-discovery. It is here that Alice fully understands she is no longer human, even as she fights to believe a cure exists. The chapter ends with her looking for Lottie, launching the mystery that will drive the next part of the narrative.
Study Questions and Answers
1. How does Alice’s physical condition change after the blackout?
She no longer breathes unless she consciously forces it, and holding her breath causes no distress. She cannot find a pulse anywhere on her body. Her blood is thicker and darker, and a self-inflicted wound seals itself within seconds. She also cries blood instead of tears and has a sudden, sharp urge to bite that she cannot control.
2. What memory fragment does Alice recover, and how does it shape her self-perception?
She remembers herself and Colin on the ground, with Colin begging her to stop as she tears open his throat. This violent image collides with her earlier self-image as a victim. The memory, alongside her physical changes, erases any doubt that she is dangerous and no longer human, even though she refuses to label the transformation.
3. Why does Alice refuse to say or think the word for what she has become?
She believes that speaking the word would make the impossible real and permanently undo her sanity. By treating her condition as a solvable logic problem—tracing causes and effects—she attempts to cling to a rational world where she can still be fixed. The deliberate silence is a coping mechanism to avoid fully acknowledging her undeath.