Cultural Appropriation in Breathe In, Bleed Out: From Colonial Exploitation to Reclamation

The Thematic Claim

Breathe In, Bleed Out argues that cultural appropriation is a form of spiritual colonialism: powerful actors strip indigenous practices of their history and meaning, repackaging them as commodities for profit and control. The novel traces this exploitation through Guru Pax's Avidya retreat, which borrows liberally from Chemehuevi, Sanskrit, Buddhist, and Hindu traditions without context, while the true Chemehuevi voice—Kimi—exposes the harm and begins reclaiming her heritage. The theme forces readers to ask who benefits when sacred knowledge is translated into a marketable experience, and what gets erased in the process.

Tracing the Theme Across the Plot

1. Arrival at Avidya: The Buffet of Borrowed Traditions

When the group first arrives at the retreat in Chapter 8, Guru Pax welcomes them with a tour that displays a gross-ass cultural appropriation buffet (Kimi's words). The space features yurts (originating in Central Asia), a gong from western China, Buddhist figurines beside Hindu tapestries, and artifacts from about six different Native American tribes. Pax frames this as religious syncretism and a means to transcend the human ignorance that divides us. Hannah Reynolds immediately senses something wrong: she whispers to Tess that the place feels a bit colonial. Tess defends Pax, insisting the combination is progressive. This initial exchange sets up the central tension: does multicultural borrowing enrich or exploit?

The tour continues with animal skulls, a sweat lodge, and a meditation den filled with instruments from multiple traditions. Pax presents each element as part of a universal spiritual path, but the novel makes clear that history is being flattened. The Chemehuevi people, who actually lived on this land, are reduced to a backdrop for Pax's performance. Hannah's discomfort, though inarticulate at first, marks her as the character who will eventually see through the facade.

2. Kimi's Revelation: Exposing the Machinery

After Hannah discovers the library's history books and reads about the massacre of the Chemehuevi by white colonizers, she confronts Kimi in her yurt in Chapter 23. Here, the novel's most explicit critique of appropriation emerges. Kimi—real name Kimberly, after the Pink Ranger—reveals she hates the retreat and works solely for the money. She calls out each cultural element: yurts are Mongolian, gongs are Chinese, the deities are a mismatched stew. She then drops the bombshell that the ayahuasca the group drank was chamomile tea with dried twigs—a placebo. The entire spiritual experience was engineered theater.

This scene does more than expose Pax's fraud; it connects appropriation to historical erasure. Kimi points out that Waylon Barlow, a murderous white colonizer, gets a local legend and a nursery rhyme, while thousands of Chemehuevi ancestors disappear without a trace. The imbalance is not accidental. Appropriation, the novel suggests, is the contemporary face of colonization: it takes what is useful and discards what is inconvenient, including the truth of genocide.

Kimi's complicity complicates the picture. She works for Pax because fucking capitalism beats slinging lemonade at Coachella. Her economic entrapment shows that even those who recognize appropriation may be forced to participate in it. This is not a simple condemnation of a villain but a systemic critique.

3. The Public Confrontation: Painting the Monster

In Chapter 25, Hannah publicly challenges Pax during the painting exercise. She exposes the placebo lie, but Tess and Miles accept Pax's explanation that it was a lesson in illusion. Hannah then paints a violent image of Waylon Barlow raising his pickaxe, blood dripping from its edge. Stabbing the brush through the canvas, she declares her rejection of the whole enterprise. The act is cathartic but also isolating: her friends side with Pax, demonstrating how appropriation can buy allegiance from the very people it harms indirectly.

Pax's response in Chapter 24 is instructive. When Hannah accuses him of running a cult, he reframes his methods as helping people target trauma and isolate negative beliefs. He does not deny the cult label. Instead, he absorbs the critique into his pitch, a classic appropriative move: even dissent becomes content. This moment shows that appropriation is not just about stealing symbols—it is about controlling the narrative so thoroughly that resistance is neutralized.

Character and Symbol Connections

Characters

Guru Pax embodies the appropriator who believes his good intentions justify his theft. He travels the world taking bits and pieces from every culture and claims to have their blessings. His whiteness shields him from scrutiny; the novel implies that his authority rests on the racial credential of being able to move across traditions without being held accountable to any of them.
Kimi represents the reclaimer. She insists on her real name, mocks the kabuki theater, and names the erasure of her ancestors. Yet she is also trapped within the system, handing back phones and serving Pax's vision. Her character asks whether critique alone is enough without structural change.
Hannah functions as the reader's entry point into awareness. She moves from vague irritation to active investigation to outright rebellion. Her journey mirrors a decolonizing consciousness that learns to listen to the appropriated voice (Kimi) rather than the appropriator (Pax).
Dr. James Grady, the villain who orchestrated the haunting, operates as a mirror to Pax. Both men manipulate vulnerable people using tools of control; one uses psychology, the other uses spirituality. Together they suggest that appropriation and exploitation are not separate but two sides of the same colonial logic.

Symbols

The Pickaxe appears on the retreat wall as a museum piece and later as Waylon Barlow's weapon. It links colonial resource extraction (mining) to the violence of cultural extraction (appropriation). Both take without consent and leave blood behind.
The Spiderweb in Hannah's yurt catches three flies, which she interprets as herself, Tess, and Miles—the remaining retreat guests. The web represents the predatory structure of Avidya: guests are lured by the promise of healing, then trapped and consumed. Appropriation is the bait.
The Salvia Divinorum and the fake ayahuasca point to the commodification of sacred plants. The novel explicitly contrasts authentic indigenous use (which Kimi would recognize) with Pax's placebo theater. The plants become props rather than medicines.

Complexity and Contradiction

The novel does not offer a simple hero/villain binary. Several complications resist easy resolution:

Kimi's complicity: She knows exactly what Pax is doing and hates it, yet she stays for the paycheck. The novel refuses to make her a pure victim or a pure resister. Her decision to give Hannah back her phone is a small act of sabotage, but she never leaves or openly revolts until the climax. This realism acknowledges that economic survival often overrides moral purity.
Tess's investment: Tess genuinely believes in spiritual practice and has her own Instagram following as a spiritual creative influencer. She is not maliciously appropriating; she is consuming the product Pax sells. Her character asks whether well-meaning participants are also guilty, or whether the blame falls solely on the producer. The novel suggests the line is blurry.
The placebo effect: When Hannah learns the ayahuasca was fake, Tess argues that the experiences were still real. This raises a question: does the authenticity of the tradition matter if the participant heals? The novel seems to answer that intent and context matter deeply—Pax's framing is not neutral but manipulative. Yet the question lingers, respecting its difficulty.
Historical trauma as genuine horror: The ghost of Waylon Barlow is both real (within the story) and a product of manipulation by Grady. The author's note reveals McAuley drew on Joshua Tree mining history. The novel uses horror to literalize the violence that appropriation obscures: the land is literally haunted by colonization, and the spa is built on a graveyard. This is not metaphor but plot, forcing readers to confront the physical reality of erased peoples.

Ultimately, the novel suggests that reclamation is possible but incomplete. In Chapter 39, Hannah visits Ben's grave and declares she is done carrying Ben. She removes her ring and walks away lighter, having released herself without spirits. This moment of self-generated healing contrasts with Pax's promise that the spirits will answer. The implication is that genuine healing comes not from borrowed traditions but from honest confrontation with personal and historical truth. Kimi, meanwhile, escapes the retreat alive but has not yet reclaimed her ancestors' stories on her own terms. The novel ends before that work is complete.

Study Questions

How does the setting of Avidya Retreat function as a critique of spiritual tourism?
The retreat packages traditions from multiple cultures into a single, decontextualized experience. Pax uses sacred objects as decor and sacred practices as entertainment. The novel shows that this flattening erases the specific histories—like Chemehuevi genocide—that give those traditions meaning. Tourists consume the aesthetic while ignoring the blood.
Why is Kimi's character essential to the novel's treatment of appropriation?
As a Chemehuevi woman working inside the system, Kimi provides an insider's critique that other characters cannot. She names the appropriation explicitly, contrasts the remembered colonizer (Waylon Barlow) with the forgotten ancestors, and exposes the placebo. Her economic entrapment also complicates the idea that resistance is simple.
What role does historical violence play in the theme of cultural appropriation?
The novel literally grounds appropriation in the mass death of the Chemehuevi people under colonization. The retreat is built on a graveyard. Pax's practice tries to make that history invisible, but the ghost of Waylon Barlow—a figure of settler violence—keeps erupting. Appropriation, the novel argues, cannot occur without erasing violence.
How does Tess's character complicate the novel's moral stance on appropriation?
Tess is not a villain. She genuinely seeks spiritual growth and defends the retreat as progressive. Yet her complicity in accepting Pax's methods—even after the placebo is revealed—shows how liberal consumption can enable exploitation. The novel suggests that good intentions do not absolve participants from examining who profits from their spiritual practice.
Does the novel offer a model for ethical cultural exchange?
The novel does not prescribe rules, but it contrasts Pax's appropriation with Kimi's reclamation. Kimi uses her real name, laughs at the performance, and hands Hannah her phone. This suggests that agency and self-definition—being the subject rather than the object of spiritual practice—are foundational. The ending implies that healing requires reclaiming one's own story, not borrowing another's.

For deeper analysis, explore the main novel page, character studies of Hannah, Kimi, and Guru Pax, or the symbol pages for the pickaxe, the spider, and Waylon Barlow.