Chapter 18: Ann – Nostalgia, Grief, and a Reckless Return to the Past

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Ann visits Treasures by the Sea, a secondhand store, browsing baby items while her pregnancy becomes more real after her mother made a doctor’s appointment. She avoids emails from editors and ignores Noah’s messages, feeling detached from her old life. At the store, she encounters Wes, a high school friend. They reminisce about Bà Ngoại, who recently died, and Wes shares his sympathy. Ann impulsively agrees to get coffee, but Wes takes her to an arcade called Ranger’s Quest. They play games, eat pizza, and spot Crystal King, Ann’s former best friend, but do not speak. Later, they go to Wes’s house and have sex. Afterward, Ann feels empty yet exhilarated, recognizing Wes as a familiar escape. She leaves, driving home alone, reflecting on her grandmother and the Banyan House, feeling a new urge to explore her hometown rather than run from it.

Key Events

Ann visits Treasures by the Sea, thinking about her pregnancy and stalled career.
She receives emails and calls from editors, including Marlee, whom she tells she cannot work.
Wes approaches Ann in the store; they talk about Bà Ngoại’s death and their shared past.
Ann accepts Wes’s invitation, and they go to the arcade Ranger’s Quest.
They play games, win a stuffed unicorn, eat pizza, and see Crystal King with her daughter.
Wes and Ann have sex at his house.
Ann leaves Wes’s home, driving back to the Banyan House alone.
On the drive, she thinks about her grandmother’s stories and feels a desire to explore hidden spaces in her hometown.

Character Development

Ann: Struggles with her identity after leaving Noah and her career. She acts impulsively with Wes, using nostalgia and physical escape to avoid grief and responsibility. Her pregnancy anchors her but also isolates her. The chapter shows her moving from denial toward a tentative openness to her past and present.
Wes: Depicted as a “fixer” from Ann’s youth, comfortable in his town but also wounded (his father died). He offers familiarity and non-judgmental companionship, yet their encounter reinforces Ann’s pattern of using relationships to evade deeper emotional work.
Noah (offstage): Remains a controlling presence through emails and remembered habits; Ann rejects his world of farro salads and sleek cars, signaling her growing separation.
Crystal King: A brief sighting reopens old wounds; Ann avoids her, highlighting unresolved guilt and the theme of estranged friendship.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs Actually Evidenced Here

Bereavement as a Bitch: Ann explicitly reflects on this phrase, capturing grief’s messy, isolating nature. Wes’s dad died too, creating a shared understanding without platitudes.
Nostalgia and Regret: The arcade, VHS tapes, and references to high school kisses embody a longing for simpler times, yet Ann knows she cannot truly go back.
The Body and Pregnancy: Ann feels her body changing, swelling, becoming “feral.” Her pregnancy is both a physical anchor and a secret she keeps from nearly everyone.
Escape vs. Return: Ann spent her life running from her small town; now she feels “a reckless desire to explore” it, suggesting a shift from avoidance to confrontation.
Class and Comfort: Wes’s rough, improvised life contrasts with Noah’s polished wealth. Ann chooses pizza and an arcade over burrata and a Lexus, rejecting her old comfort zone.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 18 marks a turning point for Ann’s personal journey. Her sexual encounter with Wes is not presented as a simple mistake but as a deliberate rejection of Noah’s world and a clumsy attempt to reconnect with a self she abandoned years ago. The chapter deepens the novel’s exploration of grief: how it strips away pretense and forces characters to act outside their usual bounds. Ann’s avoidance of Crystal King also sets up potential future conflict, as unresolved friendships and betrayals linger beneath the surface. Most importantly, the chapter ends with Ann deciding not to drive away but to stay and explore—a small but significant commitment to the place and people she once fled.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Ann lie to Marlee about her grandmother’s death as the only reason she cannot work?
Ann uses Bà Ngoại’s death as a convenient excuse because she cannot articulate the full scope of her upheaval: the pregnancy, her estrangement from Noah, and her loss of professional identity. The lie reflects how grief becomes a catch-all for complex emotional crisis.

2. What does Wes’s memory of Bà Ngoại carrying Ann’s graduation cap reveal about both women?
Wes’s recollection shows Bà Ngoại’s fierce, public pride in Ann, contradicting Ann’s sense that she was merely a guardian. It also highlights how Ann’s grandmother viewed her as extraordinary—a rare validation Ann has not allowed herself to feel.

3. How does the arcade setting contrast with Ann’s life in Michigan?
The arcade is sticky, neon-lit, and filled with noisy children—a world away from Noah’s sophisticated dinner parties and sleek minimalism. Ann’s enjoyment of the messy, tactile fun signals a rejection of polish and perfection in favor of authentic, if ragged, experience.