All Fours Chapter 5: A Cross-Country Detour

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The narrator begins her cross-country drive but is delayed by a call from her father, who claims a "walk-in" soul has replaced his original self, leaving him indifferent to his family. She stops for gas in Monrovia, where a young man named Davey cleans her windshield. Later she eats at Fontana's and encounters Davey again; over lunch they discuss his job shuttling Hertz cars, his wife Claire, and his sense of being a fuckup. After leaving, the narrator returns to Monrovia, spends the afternoon wandering through shops, a pet store, an arboretum, and a library, then checks into a motel called the Excelsior. She calls her husband Harris and lies about being near Zion National Park in Utah. The chapter interweaves memories of her ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend, meditations on parenthood as an unconsummated love, and a philosophy of lying as a necessary part of her marriage.

Key Events

The narrator's father calls from a loaner phone and describes his "walk-in soul" theory, explaining that a new soul has taken over his body and feels no attachment to his wife or daughter.
The narrator recalls a childhood memory of listening to the radio for news of her mother's plane crash, with her father insisting on a "lag time" before the report.
She stops at a Monrovia gas station; Davey cleans her windshield, and they briefly make eye contact through the glass.
At Fontana's restaurant, she unexpectedly meets Davey again. He joins her at her table and tells her about his life: his job moving Hertz cars, his wife Claire, his sister Angela, and his need to save twenty thousand dollars.
The narrator reflects on her own past: living next door to her ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend, who were in a relationship that involved caning, and later moving into their larger apartment where she ate the rice they left behind for six years.
She receives a series of texts from Harris asking for Astrid's mom's number for a playdate; she provides it.
After leaving Fontana's, the narrator deliberately walks the "wrong way" around the block and runs into Davey again as he heads to his car.
She returns to Monrovia, passes time browsing shops, getting a manicure, visiting the library and arboretum, and eating at Sesame Grill.
She checks into the Excelsior Motel (whose sign reads "No no vacancy") and calls Harris, lying that she is in Utah near Zion National Park.
The chapter ends with her internal monologue comparing her many faces to a kaleidoscope and lying to a sweater knitted in secret for Harris.

Character Development

The Narrator: Her complex relationship with truth emerges fully. She admits she needs to lie "the amount of untruth that your constitution requires" and sees herself as a kaleidoscope with four or five faces. This chapter deepens her self-awareness about her marriage and her desire for autonomy. Her memories of her ex-girlfriend reveal a formative period of solitude and creative development.
Davey: A young man (thirty-one) who works at Hertz and appears earnest and guileless. He shares personal details freely, but the narrator senses his dissatisfaction with his life. He functions as a foil to the narrator's covertness.
Harris (offstage): Through his texts and the phone call, Harris is shown as pragmatic and uninterested in details. The narrator's lies reveal the asymmetry in their relationship.
The Narrator's Father: His walk-in soul theory illustrates a lifelong pattern of emotional disconnection and a tendency to pathologize normal feelings. His presence haunts the narrator's journey.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

The Kaleidoscope Self: The narrator explicitly rejects being compressed into a single identity. She compares her many faces to "each glittering piece of glass changing as I turn." This motif undercuts the idea of an authentic self and justifies her deceptions.
Lying as Knitting: The extended metaphor of a sweater knitted in secrecy represents the narrator's long-term project of constructing a hidden self for eventual revelation. It suggests that lies are not mere fabrications but a form of creation.
Deathfield and Walk-in Soul: The father's "deathfield" (a combination of panic and depression) and the "walk-in" soul continue the book's interest in mental health, alienation, and the fragility of identity.
Parenthood as Unconsummated Love: The narrator reflects on the impossibility of fully possessing a child. She imagines that at high school graduation her child might take off all their clothes for a final inspection, or at least sign a scroll acknowledging the shared experience. This echoes the novel's preoccupation with the limits of intimacy.
The Wrong Way: Walking the "wrong way" around the block is presented as a deliberate kink in the universe, a way to signal "I'm here" and to become more alert. It ambiguously leads her back to Davey, suggesting that wishful thinking can reshape reality.
The Motel Sign ("No no vacancy"): The doubled negative creates a positive—"two nos make a yes." This linguistic trick mirrors the narrator's approach to truth: a lie can be a kind of truth.

Why This Chapter Matters

Chapter 5 is pivotal because it establishes the narrator's full moral and psychological landscape. It introduces the key relationship with Davey, which will likely continue in subsequent chapters, and crystallizes her philosophy of lying and multiplicity. The chapter also deepens the backstory of her marriage, her childhood with a depressed father, and her ambivalent feelings about motherhood. It directly confronts the tension between the "traditional" side she presents to Harris and the secret, wandering self she indulges on this trip.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does the narrator lie to Harris about being near Zion National Park? What does this lie reveal about her marriage?

The narrator lies because she wants to avoid explaining her actual location—Monrovia, still very close to home—and because she values the autonomy of her secret self. The lie reveals that her marriage to Harris is built on selective disclosure; she believes he prefers only the "minimum" of information. The false location also allows her to continue her detour without accountability, embodying her belief that each person needs "the amount of untruth that your constitution requires."

2. What is the significance of the "no no vacancy" motel sign?

The sign is a metaphor for the narrator's approach to truth. Two negatives ("no no") make a positive ("vacancy"), just as her lies often contain a kernel of truth. The motel itself is shabby, yet the sign offers a paradoxical welcome. This reflects the narrator's comfort with contradictions and her willingness to inhabit ambiguous spaces both literal and emotional.

3. How does the narrator's memory of her ex-girlfriend and the jar of rice illustrate her development as an artist?

After her ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend moved out, the narrator moved into their larger apartment. The rice and bamboo cane they left behind become symbols of the relationship's violence and intimacy. Eating the rice over several months while making her plans is a ritual of absorption and transformation. She says, "It's where I became myself—or at least a self that would last me a very long time." The episode underscores how she channels pain into solitude, work, and the creation of a durable inner life.