Chapter 18: The Trial – Summary and Analysis

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

The speaker states he does not watch the video but can sense it playing on a loop in a distant room, while the person in the video keeps dying behind the speaker’s eyes. Left with only small twitches and minor choices, he begs alone in the dark not to hurt in that way today, because he already hurt that way yesterday. No one listens when he argues with himself, not even himself. In this state of pain, the speaker feels reduced to a “redaction” – a slur that other slurs prefer not to say, both used and useless. The video plays him, rewinds to unspool him, and records over an old innocent video of him breathing. The video has the speaker “against the wall or by the throat or on my back,” a position he no longer cares to specify. His exhaustion is tired. The final lines suggest that if the violence does not kill him in the preferred way, it will try again tomorrow.

Key Events

The speaker acknowledges the existence of a video recording a killing but refuses to watch it directly.
He experiences the video playing on a loop in a remote location, yet the victim dies repeatedly in his mind.
He begs for a reprieve from the emotional pain, but his pleas go unheard.
He describes his identity being overwritten: the video redacts him and replaces a previous, innocent version of himself.
The speaker lists possible positions of victimhood (against the wall, by the throat, on his back) and dismisses them as interchangeable.
He concludes that the threat of violence is relentless and will return the next day if it does not succeed today.

Character Development

The speaker (the only character present) undergoes a stark emotional trajectory. He begins in a state of desperate pleading, trying to negotiate with an unseen force or with himself. As the poem progresses, his tone shifts from begging to a weary, almost nihilistic resignation. By the end, he abandons specificity (“oh, who cares?”) and accepts that his exhaustion is itself tired. This arc illustrates how prolonged exposure to traumatic imagery can erode a person’s will to resist or even to feel.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

Trauma and Its Loop: The video plays “on a loop,” symbolizing the repetitive, inescapable nature of traumatic memory. The victim dies repeatedly “behind my eyes,” showing how the trauma is internalized and re-experienced.
Redaction and Erasure: The speaker calls himself a “redaction” – something obscured or removed – and describes how the new video “records over an old innocent video of me breathing.” This motif suggests that violence overwrites a person’s prior identity, leaving only a silenced or edited version.
Exhaustion as Resistance: The line “Even my exhaustion is tired” personifies exhaustion to the point of futility. It reflects the deep fatigue of living under constant threat, where even the act of being worn out becomes worn out.
The Body as Target: The unspecified positions of attack (wall, throat, back) emphasize that the exact method of violence does not matter; the speaker’s body is simply a target for whatever form aggression takes.

Why This Chapter Matters

“The Trial” condenses the psychological toll of witnessing (or refusing to witness) racialized violence in a media‑saturated world. The poem dramatizes how a single video can invade a viewer’s consciousness, replaying trauma until the person feels dehumanized and voiceless. By focusing on the internal experience rather than the external event, Jones shifts attention to the cost borne by those who live in fear that they or people like them could be the next victim. This chapter speaks directly to the exhaustion of Black communities facing repeated cycles of police brutality and publicized killings.

Study Questions and Answers

Why does the speaker say “I don’t watch the video” yet still experience it so vividly?
The speaker deliberately avoids viewing the video, but its emotional impact reaches him anyway. He “can feel it playing on a loop” and the victim dies “behind my eyes,” indicating that the trauma is transmitted through cultural knowledge, hearsay, or the sheer ubiquity of such content. Avoiding the screen does not protect him from the psychic wound.
What does the speaker mean by calling himself “someone’s redaction”?
A redaction is a blacked‑out or removed portion of a document. The speaker feels that, in the eyes of the system or society, his identity has been partially erased or covered up. He is “a slur the other slurs prefer not to utter” – an offensive label that even other offensive labels avoid. He is both “used and useless,” implying that he is exploited for a narrative yet ultimately discarded.
How does the poem’s structure reinforce its theme of relentless trauma?
The poem consists of a single strophe with no stanza breaks, creating a breathless, circular feel. The lack of punctuation at the end of several lines mimics the loop of the video. The repetition of “please” and the final threat of “try again tomorrow” echo the cyclical nature of violence and the speaker’s inability to find closure.