Chapter 15 Summary and Analysis – Six Years Earlier

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Six years earlier, Miles and Rachel are lying together in a bedroom, kissing passionately. Between kisses, Rachel asks Miles if he thinks they enjoy kissing so much because it is forbidden—their parents are together. Miles disagrees, reminding her that long before they knew about their parents’ relationship, he wanted to kiss her from the first moment he saw her in Mr. Clayton’s classroom. He says he loves kissing her, not just kissing in general. Miles then reflects inwardly on the difference between kissing other girls and kissing Rachel. With others, he only felt pleasure; with Rachel, the absence of her kisses causes him pain. He concludes that this pain is what makes falling in love so difficult. The scene ends with him silently affirming that he loves kissing her.

Key Events

Miles and Rachel kiss while lying in bed.
Rachel questions whether the thrill comes from the taboo of their parents’ union.
Miles recalls his first desire to kiss her, which predated that taboo.
Miles differentiates between pleasurable kissing and meaningful kissing that brings pain when absent.
The chapter ends with Miles’s internal realization about love and loss.

Character Development

Miles: This flashback reveals a young Miles who is deeply, emotionally attached to Rachel. He is introspective and articulate about his feelings, contrasting sharply with the emotionally closed-off, guarded man in the present timeline. His understanding that love brings pain foreshadows the tragedy that will shape his future.
Rachel: She is playful and analytical, pushing Miles to examine their motives. Her warmth and intimacy with Miles show the deep bond they share, making her eventual loss all the more impactful.

Themes, Symbols, and Motifs

Love and Pain: The central idea introduced here is that true love carries the pain of separation. Miles’s insight that he suffers when not kissing Rachel, but not when missing other girls, underscores the theme that love inherently involves vulnerability and potential suffering.
Forbidden Love: Rachel’s question about whether their parents’ relationship makes their kisses more exciting touches on the theme of taboo. However, Miles rejects this, asserting that their connection is genuine and predates any forbidden aspect.
Memory and Flashback: The entire chapter is a memory, serving as a window into Miles’s past. This narrative structure emphasizes how the past continues to haunt the present, a recurring motif in the novel.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter provides essential backstory for Miles’s character. It explains why he is so guarded and unwilling to form emotional attachments in the present: he experienced a love so profound that its absence (the loss of Rachel) became unbearable. The flashback sets up the central tragedy of his life—the love and loss of Rachel—which motivates his behavior in the main timeline. Without this chapter, readers would not understand the depth of his pain or the reasons for his self-imposed rules with Tate.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Miles disagree with Rachel’s suggestion that they enjoy kissing because it is forbidden?
Miles argues that their desire to kiss existed before they knew their parents were together, pointing to the moment he first saw her in Mr. Clayton’s classroom. He believes their attraction is genuine and independent of any taboo.

2. How does Miles distinguish between kissing other girls and kissing Rachel?
He says that with other girls, he felt only pleasure, but with Rachel, he feels pain when he is not kissing her. For him, the pain of absence is the marker of true emotional connection—it is what makes love both meaningful and difficult.

3. What does this flashback reveal about Miles’s emotional state in the present timeline?
It reveals that Miles once experienced a deep, consuming love. The pain he describes from being apart from Rachel likely refers to the eventual loss of her, which explains why he now avoids emotional intimacy: he cannot bear to experience that level of pain again.