Guardianship and Responsibility in Things We Never Got Over

Thematic Claim

In Things We Never Got Over, Lucy Score presents guardianship not as a legal formality but as an emotionally charged axis around which every other theme revolves. The novel argues that true responsibility means accepting a role you never planned for, letting go of perfectionism, and allowing others to help carry the burden. Naomi Witt, a self‑described “good daughter” who always follows the rules, is forced into the role of guardian for her eleven‑year‑old niece Waylay. This sudden shift dismantles her carefully laid plans and challenges her definition of stability. By tracing this theme across three distinct phases of the plot, examining character connections, and exploring key symbols, we see that guardianship becomes the crucible in which Naomi forges a new identity.

Part 1: Sudden Guardianship – The Collapse of Control

The theme first appears when Naomi arrives in Knockemout expecting a brief reunion with her twin sister Tina. Instead, she finds her car stolen, her motel room ransacked, and an eleven‑year‑old girl sitting on the bed. Waylay, Tina’s daughter, has been left behind with no return date. Naomi’s immediate response is instinctive: “Ik ben haar meest nabije, levende familielid die geen crimineel is. Ik ben verantwoordelijk voor haar.” She claims responsibility without hesitation, even though she has no job, no money, and no plan. This scene establishes the core tension: Naomi’s sense of duty collides with her lack of preparation.

The evidence from chapter 3 shows Naomi’s internal spiral: “Mijn auto was weg, net als mijn handtas en mijn laptop … Ik had een nichtje wiens hele kindertijd ik had gemist.” Yet she does not run. Instead, she begins a frantic to‑do list for guardianship, including background checks, interviews, and a home study (chapter 9 evidence). This list reveals her need to control chaos through bureaucracy—a behavior rooted in her lifelong attempt to compensate for Tina’s chaos. Her parents are unreachable on a cruise, so she cannot lean on them. Knox Morgan, the gruff barber, becomes an unwilling ally, but Naomi insists on handling everything herself.

Part 2: Navigating the System – The Weight of Perfection

In the middle of the novel, the guardianship process forces Naomi to confront her own limits. She struggles with the application forms, the home study, and the need to present herself as a stable caregiver while simultaneously dealing with Tina’s fraud, her lost bank account, and a deepening relationship with Knox. Chapter 25 shows a meeting with Naomi’s parents, who have arrived and are eager to meet Waylay. Knox, pretending to be Naomi’s boyfriend to help her case, adds a layer of complication.

The evidence from chapter 9 includes Naomi’s voogdijschap to‑do list, which lists “Volledige voogdijaanvraag, plus antecedentenonderzoek” and “Thuisstudie.” This bureaucratic checklist contrasts with the emotional reality: Naomi is terrified of failing. In chapter 29, she admits to Knox: “En wat als ik niet wil dat deze voogdijschap tijdelijk is? Wat als ik wil dat Waylay permanent bij me blijft? … Wat als de rechter besluit dat ik niet goed genoeg voor haar ben?” Knox replies that you cannot spend your life trying to please everyone. This exchange highlights the complexity: Naomi’s perfectionism, born from a childhood of being the “easy” daughter, now threatens the very guardianship she wants. She must learn to ask for help—from Knox, from her parents, from the community.

The character of Nash Morgan also reinforces the theme. As police chief, he warns Naomi that guardianship is not about earning gold stars but about doing the right thing, even when it is hard. His own injury (a gunshot wound) forces him to accept help, mirroring Naomi’s struggle.

Part 3: Long‑Term Commitment – Five Years Later

The bonus epilogue (chapter 51) shows the ultimate evolution of the theme. Five years after the main events, Knox and Naomi arrive at the family home with two newly adopted daughters. Waylay, now seventeen, meets them on the porch. The extended family is gathered, including Knox’s father John Wayne Morgan, who is three years sober. Naomi shares a private moment with Knox, expressing gratitude for the life he gave her. This scene proves that guardianship became a permanent, chosen foundation—not just a temporary fix.

The symbol of daisies threads through the narrative. In chapter 1, Knox calls Naomi “Daisy” after finding a petal in her hair. Daisies often represent innocence and new beginnings. For Naomi, the daisy nickname becomes a marker of her transformation from a woman fleeing a failed wedding to a woman building a family. In the epilogue, the daisies have given way to a settled life, suggesting that the initial vulnerability developed into stability.

Complexity and Contradiction

The theme is not without contradiction. Naomi’s immediate acceptance of guardianship can be read as noble, but it also reflects her inability to set boundaries. She admits in chapter 39, “Ik kon me geen tienerrebellie veroorloven … ik móést de goede dochter zijn.” This pattern of over‑responsibility nearly prevents her from trusting others. Meanwhile, Tina Witt represents the complete rejection of responsibility—she abandons her daughter without guilt. Yet the novel does not demonize Tina entirely; it hints at her own struggles, leaving room for complexity.

Another contradiction emerges in Knox’s character. He begins as a man who avoids commitment, but guardianship draws him in. He tells Naomi, “Je kunt niet je hele leven proberen het iedereen naar de zin te maken,” yet he himself takes on the role of protector. By the epilogue, he has fully embraced fatherhood. The theme suggests that responsibility is not a burden but a source of meaning—provided one accepts help.

Study Questions and Answers

1. How does Naomi’s guardianship of Waylay force her to redefine her own identity?
Naomi had always been the dependable, rule‑following twin. Guardianship strips away her job, savings, and plans, forcing her to derive purpose from caregiving rather than from external achievements. She learns that being a guardian means making mistakes and asking for support, which ultimately frees her from perfectionism.

2. What role does the town of Knockemout play in supporting Naomi’s new responsibilities?
Knockemout functions as an extended family. Characters like Liza J, Sloane, and Nash offer practical help—legal advice, child‑care tips, and emotional backup. The community’s acceptance contrasts with Naomi’s initial isolation, illustrating that guardianship does not have to be a solo journey.

3. In what ways does the symbol of daisies connect to the theme of guardianship?
Daisies appear when Naomi is most vulnerable: the flower in her hair after her Botched wedding, and Knox’s nickname “Daisy.” The daisy represents freshness and resilience. As Naomi takes on guardianship, she wilts and then re‑blooms. By the epilogue, the daisy has become a metaphor for the family she has grown.

4. Why does the novel include a bureaucratic to‑do list for guardianship? How does this reflect deeper themes?
The list—background checks, interviews, home study—represents Naomi’s attempt to impose order on emotional chaos. It mirrors her need for control. Yet the list proves insufficient: the real work of guardianship involves patience, vulnerability, and compromise. The contrast between the clinical process and the messy reality underscores the theme’s complexity.

5. How does Knox’s own resistance to responsibility evolve throughout the story?
Knox initially rejects involvement, calling Naomi’s responsibility “simpel” and scoffing at family ties. But he gradually steps in—providing a home, helping with paperwork, and defending Waylay at soccer games. By the epilogue, he has adopted two daughters, showing that responsibility, once accepted, can transform a person’s entire outlook.