Chapter 9: A Reckoning with Loss and a Friendship Restored

⚠️ Spoiler Warning: This guide contains detailed spoilers for the entire novel. Proceed only if you've finished reading or are comfortable knowing the plot.

Summary

Chapter 9 unfolds through two phone calls. First, Bob’s sister Susan calls, relieved that Bob already knows Helen is dying (Pam told him after visiting Susan). Susan reports that Jim sounded “not quite right” on the phone—angry and upset. Later that evening, Jim himself calls Bob. Jim confirms Helen is deteriorating quickly, has a hospital bed in the living room, and is only seeing their children. Jim reveals he is going off his antidepressants because he wants to “feel” the loss fully. Bob worries about this decision and about whether Helen is being kind to Jim during her dying, recalling Jim’s past affairs and Helen’s insistence on the medication. The two men speak with raw honesty. Jim apologizes for not reaching out sooner, saying he avoided it because telling Bob would “make it feel real” to him. Bob assures Jim he is not alone. After hanging up, Bob sits stunned, realizing Jim’s extraordinary kindness in their conversation—and remembering that Lucy once used the same phrase about making something real.

Key Events

• Susan calls Bob to discuss Jim’s reaction to Helen’s terminal diagnosis; she describes Jim as sounding “like an asshole.”
• Jim calls Bob late that night and confirms Helen is dying rapidly.
• Jim says he is stopping his antidepressants so he can experience the grief fully.
• Helen has a hospital bed in the living room and only wants to see her children and Jim.
• Bob recalls Helen’s past demand that Jim take antidepressants after his affairs.
• Jim apologizes for not contacting Bob sooner, explaining that doing so would have made the situation “real.”
• Bob and Jim reconcile their friendship with words of reassurance.
• Bob is deeply moved by Jim’s kindness and later remembers that Lucy had used the same “make it real” phrasing.

Character Development

• Bob Burgess: Reconnects with Jim after months of silence. Bob shows empathy but also self-doubt—he realizes he cannot truly know Jim’s marriage or whether Jim feels alone. His recollection of Lucy reveals how past relationships shape his present understanding.
• Jim Burgess: Appears vulnerable and honest for the first time in the novel. He chooses to feel pain rather than numb it, and he reaches out to Bob with an apology. His admission of missing Bob underscores his loneliness.
• Helen (off-page): Though not present, her actions—insisting Jim take antidepressants, handling his affairs with dignity, and now managing her death with calm—paint her as a determined and composed woman.
• Susan: Serves as a messenger and reveals her own discomfort with being the bearer of bad news.

Themes, Symbols, or Motifs

• Making Loss Real: Jim’s avoidance of telling Bob—and his explanation that doing so would make the situation real—mirrors Lucy’s earlier words to Bob. The phrase becomes a motif for the psychological distance people keep from grief until they are ready to face it.
• Antidepressants as Emotional Buffer: Jim’s choice to stop medication symbolizes a desire for authentic feeling, even when that feeling is unbearable. The novel questions whether it is better to be numbed or to suffer fully.
• Friendship and Redemption: The chapter centers on a repaired friendship. Jim’s apology (“Just trying to say I’m sorry”) and Bob’s reassurance (“I’m right here”) suggest that long-standing bonds can survive silence and past wrongs.
• The Unknowability of Marriage: Bob reflects that he cannot know if Jim was a good husband; the text leaves the reader to wonder about the private complexities of Jim and Helen’s relationship.

Why This Chapter Matters

This chapter is pivotal because it brings Jim and Bob back into direct contact after a prolonged rift, restoring the central friendship of the novel’s Crosby, Maine, community. It also deepens the portrait of Helen, a character we rarely see directly but who exerts a powerful gravitational pull on those around her. Jim’s decision to go off antidepressants signals a major emotional shift, preparing the reader for the raw grief to come. The motif of “making it real” ties this chapter to Bob’s history with Lucy, enriching the novel’s meditation on how people confront—or avoid—the truth of death.

Study Questions and Answers

1. Why does Jim decide to stop taking his antidepressants, and what does this decision reveal about his character at this moment?
   Jim explains he wants to “feel” Helen’s dying fully, because the medication has prevented him from experiencing deep emotions. This reveals his need for authentic grief and a desire to be present for the end, even at the cost of intense pain. It also suggests a shift in his priorities: feeling is more important than comfort.

2. How does the phone conversation between Bob and Jim restore their friendship?
   Jim initiates the call, apologizes for his months of silence, and admits he has missed Bob “big-time.” Bob responds with reassurance, telling Jim he is not alone and that he can call anytime. The mutual honesty and lack of judgment heal the distance between them, reestablishing their bond on new, more vulnerable terms.

3. What does Bob’s memory of Lucy’s similar phrase about “making it real” add to the chapter?
   Bob remembers that Lucy once used the same words Jim used—that telling someone would make the situation feel real. This parallel highlights a recurring psychological pattern in Bob’s life: both a former lover and his oldest friend have used avoidance as a coping mechanism. It deepens Bob’s understanding of human behavior and connects his past and present relationships.