Chapter 138 – Rain, Roots, and the Test of Faith
Warning: This summary contains spoilers for All the Colors of the Dark. Read after you’ve finished the chapter.
Summary
In the midst of a heavy downpour, Saint arrives at Nix’s house to find him sitting on his bench under a tree, partially sheltered but still getting wet. She announces that today is the day she plans to find something belonging to the mysterious woman—any clue to her name, past, or identity. Nix reflects that regardless of the outcome, “the kid” (likely Patch) will keep chasing the story out of love, and he no longer sees that as crazy. Saint then shifts the conversation to loneliness, and Nix says his memories are enough. She reveals she knows he spends an hour each week praying for understanding of the bad things he does, though she can’t imagine him doing anything wrong. When Nix asks why she no longer goes to church, Saint explains that Jimmy Walters’s mother exposed her secret—that she terminated a pregnancy—and her grandmother Norma has barely spoken to her since. Saint still prays, though not kneeling and not in a pew; she simply says what needs saying. Nix reassures her that she is a good person and that the great ones always test faith.
Key Events
- Saint drives through torrential rain to Nix’s house and finds him sitting outside despite the weather.
- She confirms that today is the targeted search for an object that could give the woman a name and a history.
- Nix offers philosophical support, stating that the kid’s motivation—love—makes the pursuit inevitable and not crazy.
- Saint asks Nix if he ever gets lonely; he replies that memories suffice.
- She asks about his weekly prayer for understanding, and he admits it’s for the bad things he does.
- Saint discloses her own faith struggle: Jimmy Walters’s mother spread the news of her terminated pregnancy, causing her grandmother Norma’s disapproval and Saint’s exile from the church.
- Nix comforts her, calling her a good person and noting that testing faith is a trait of the great ones.
Character Development
Saint: This chapter highlights her vulnerability and moral complexity. She is determined to uncover the past for the sake of the child (Patch), but she also grapples with guilt and the judgment of her small-town community. Her admission about the abortion and strained relationship with Norma reveals a deep wound, and her private, unadorned prayers show a personal faith that persists despite institutional rejection. Her seeking Nix’s counsel underscores her reliance on his steady, nonjudgmental presence.
Nix: The quiet mentor offers wisdom without preaching. He values memory as a buffer against loneliness, suggesting a life shaped by loss but not defined by it. His confession about praying for his own “bad things” adds ambiguity to his character—he is a moral figure who does not see himself as purely good. His final line—that great ones test faith—validates Saint’s entire struggle.
Themes, Symbols, or Motifs
- Faith and Guilt: The rain-soaked bench becomes a confessional. Both characters carry burdens they bring to a private, non-traditional form of prayer. Saint’s faith is tested not by doubt but by shame, and Nix’s acknowledgment that she tests faith reframes her guilt as strength.
- Memory and Loneliness: Nix’s statement that “the memories are enough” suggests that preserving the past can sustain a person. This speaks to the novel’s larger preoccupation with what we hold onto and why.
- Love as Persistence: The unnamed kid’s relentless search is reframed as a natural consequence of deep love. The chapter reinforces that love, not obsession, drives the narrative forward.
- Judgment and Community: The town of Monta Clare, embodied by Jimmy Walters’s mother, acts as a harsh moral arbiter. Saint’s shunning reveals the cruelty hidden beneath small-town piety.
Why This Chapter Matters
Chapter 138 serves as a quiet, character-driven interlude before a pivotal action: Saint’s search for the woman’s belongings. It deepens the bond between Saint and Nix, providing essential backstory for Saint’s personal conflict and her motivation. The conversation about faith, guilt, and acceptance sets the emotional stakes for whatever she discovers—or fails to discover. The chapter also reinforces the novel’s central thesis: that love, in all its forms, can be a reason to keep moving forward.
Study Questions
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What does Nix mean when he tells Saint that “the great ones always test faith”?
He suggests that questioning and struggling with belief is not a sign of weakness but a marker of spiritual depth. By testing the boundaries of her community’s judgment and her own self-worth, Saint is demonstrating a profound engagement with her moral universe. -
How does the setting of the rain and the tree roots contribute to the mood of the conversation?
The persistent rain mirrors Saint’s unrelenting guilt and the weight of secrets. The tree’s roots, which Nix regards as sacred, evoke the need to stay grounded and connected to what truly matters—memory, love, and identity—even in a storm. -
In what way does the chapter connect the search for the woman’s identity with Saint’s personal struggle?
Saint’s mission to give the woman a name parallels her own need to reclaim her identity from the town’s gossip. Both women have been defined by others’ narratives; Saint’s action is an effort to restore agency, both for the mysterious woman and, symbolically, for herself.